Character Name: Nora Swift

Canon/Original: Original

Gender: Female

Age: 18

Family: Agatha Swift (mother- deceased)
Bernard Swift (father)

Occupation: Servant

Place of Habitation: The Border Garrison in Thiasa

Physical Description:One’s first impression of Nora did not generally include ‘stunningly beautiful’ in its description. She took measures to avoid this, covering her dark brown lockets of hair and wearing peasant clothes that hid her figure, yet even then they still somewhat flattered her. She was average height, slender, and strong. She had a soft comely face with lightly tanned skin. Although her expressions were slight and often somber, her countenance and deep brown eyes conveyed utter joy.

Personality: Nora had genuinely good and humble disposition, having an eager kindness and a willingness to help others. She has an intellectual mind. She was completely obedient as she was taught to be by the nuns. She loved all creatures profusely and readily sacrificed for others. She had a strong moral character, striving to be united with Christ. As a result of a life spent mostly in solitude, she was shy, quiet and gentle, preferring to listen rather than speak. When she did speak, she spoke fairly eloquently and as an educated person. Being somewhat naïve, she quickly trusted others. Sometimes she only saw the good in others and admired some who had no true merit. At times she lacked courage and self-confidence, having an inability to stand up against others, appearing weak. But she was determined to do God’s will in all things and that gave her the strength she did have. She believed her vocation was a married life and however unlikely this might be, she prayed to someday marry a good intelligent man who could support a family. At times she wished she could marry into nobility, or at least into a higher class than she, in a higher position she could actually help others and possibly alleviate some of the pain that serfs went through.

History: Agatha Rook was a devout woman who had been impregnated by Bernard Swift, a cruel drunkard and her father bribed Bernard to marry her to uphold his family’s honor. The child was unfortunately a girl, Nora. Throughout the first seven years of her life she was subject to many beatings and hardships, although her mother took the worst in her stead. Eventually Bernard beat Agatha to death and a neighbor took Nora to a convent for her to be raised in. There she was given a basic education and taught many practical skills. She learned Latin and knew many doctrines of the faith. She attended daily mass and prayers said periodically throughout each day. The nuns did not provide her a life of luxury, but she was given enough to survive on. She was made to perform strenuous labor and learn complete obedience to her superiors. She was sheltered from the outside world, and as much as she loved it there she knew that it was not her vocation. She left the convent and traveled to find an occupation.

Plot Potential: I’m not entirely sure yet, she might fall in love with a soldier and/or try to kindly impose her beliefs on others- perhaps people like the whores. She wouldn't condemn nor necessarily try to correct them, but attempt to convert by example. Her intelligence could possibly get someone of a higher rank to notice her. Also, her father could turn up and be evil.

SAMPLE RP (with this character only):
The sun was nearly down and the kitchen became painfully cold. Nora’s back ached and the cold made her muscles stiff. She gave up cleaning and returned to her station by the stove where soup was cooking. She was famished and looked bitterly at the soup. She missed the convent. True, she had been equally starved there, but at least she had the comfort of the nuns, however silent they were. Here there were few warm faces to greet her, and she was pained to find the irreverence demonstrated by so many of those around her. She gazed into the boiling soup, trying to recite several lessons she had been given by the nuns. There wasn’t much point in wasting energy to remember the things she had been taught before, she would never be required to have any intelligence here, but she was determined. She didn’t think God would favor people any more or less depending on whether or not they were educated, but there was merit in striving for perfection in all things. The sound of footsteps behind her woke her and she realized she had been half asleep against a wall and the soup was almost burning.

What's the name of the Creator God the Endikai worship?: ((yes))

Well, this is a basically good application. It's bare-bones on length, and you could use more plot potential; for instance, we have a whorehouse right at the garrisons. I, personally, would think it absolutely hilarious if she were to interact with the whores, given her religiosity.

While it's fine to write in the past tense, it's unusual (usually apps are present-tense for the personality and physical description; there's no reason for this, just tradition) for RP. Huh. I wonder why... perhaps a holdover from the 'literary present' we use in, say, critical essays?

Sorry for the digression! Anyway, I like the app--it's minimal in length, but honestly, I prefer that to long poeticism. I will warn you against making your in-character posts too short; we have a ten-sentence minimum to hold to. I notice you use a lot of short, sharp sentences in a row, which sound awkward. It feels like you're padding the RP sample trying to reach the required sentences. You may want to work on that. Watch out for vague phrases, like 'elevate herself in society'; what does that mean, exactly? Usually, people's dreams are concrete.

I also don't know if that ambition makes sense with a religious upbringing, given that the meek shall inherit, etc., etc. Perhaps fix this minor point, elaborate a little on plot potential, and give me a bit more concretes for the personality? You don't need to do too much, but do go over these things again.

Thanks!
Sam

This is better. Marriage as a duty is a very Christian point of view; I like it. You'll still want to think more deeply about her personality. For instance, is there tension between her feelings toward her father (which may be violent or angry) and her Christian upbringing, which would indicate that she ought to forgive? I'm not saying angst about it, but try to bring out some depth and development.

You'll want to check out the bios of some of our soldiers, post a request for some threads, and see where this goes. We also have a head cook at the garrisons--my character, Teagan Caradoc (she's female); we could thread at some point.

Anyway, keep thinking about character development, post for plot... and I think you're set. :) Accepted.