Character Name:
Lady Isobel Newbury

Canon/Original:
Canon
Gender:
Female
Age:
Sixteen
Family:
Father;; Lord Cullen Newbury, 37
Mother;; Lady Constance Newbury [deceased]
Brothers;; Sir Roger Newbury (19), Lord Julian Newbury (18), Lord Michael Newbury (12)
Sisters;; Rachel (14), and Bridget Newbury (12 – Michael’s twin)

Occupation:
Lady

Place of Habitation:
Newbury Fiefdom

Physical Description (five sentence minimum):

-Lady Isobel Newbury can be explained as a slender, angular woman. Although she isn’t totally without curves, she is certainly lacking in feminine assets. Having a bust and buttocks, she believes, is simply a distraction for men. Isobel has a delicate figure, having a slender waist and little or no hardened muscle on her body. She is quite a lengthy young woman, standing at the impending height of five foot six inches, slightly above average. The face of Isobel is sculpted, with high cheekbones and a strong jaw line. These features are far from disfiguring to the lady. With a straight nose and full lips, her features turn from strong, to feminine. Her hair reaches the middle of her back, and is wavy in form and soft in texture. The locks are similar to those of her families, a dark chocolate brown rarely highlighted by undertones of gold. The eyes of the young noblewoman are the shade of honey, splashed with darker, warmer tones of amber.


Personality (eight sentence minimum):

-In a time of turmoil, it is a necessity to be strong. A woman with weak knees is likely to fall down, and Lady Isobel Newbury, is certainly a strong woman. She has taken on male qualities since she has grown up in a pre-dominatingly male household. Her family has long been geared towards warfare, since her father served the late King Aelfric. This family history has brought Isobel up in a humble home, causing Isobel to be a woman without a care in the world of what the ‘latest’ fashions are. Instead of dallying of frivolous, petty items, her mind seeks refuge in studying politics, although she doesn’t actively take part in them. Isobel is notoriously stoic featured, her face rarely flickering with a smile nor a frown. She is simply a person that prefers not to wear her emotions on her sleeve. Initially, she’s quite private and introverted.

Although well mannered, Lady Isobel is far from being the ‘perfect well-bred young lady’. She’s got a strong stubborn streak to her, and tends to be quite vocal in the manners of war and politics. Isobel has a tendency to appear somewhat conceited and proud, considering the fact that her first impression is usually quite aloof. Far from being conceited, she is more of a woman that is terribly proud of her family. Isobel acknowledges the fact that she was born into privilege, and that it is a rare gift that she should appreciate. Lady Isobel is not the kind of woman that you’d view as caddy or flirtatious, she’s far more interested in government and war than in men or pretty dresses. Despite this fact, Isobel dresses quite well. Although not extravagantly, she keeps a tidy appearance with fine fabrics in modest colors. Aggressive in a way that scares off many suitors, she’s blunt and to the point with nearly everything she says. Isobel isn’t one that takes well to pretty words or phrases, and tends to be brutally honest herself.

Isobel has a knack for being withdrawn from the rest of the world. She isn’t talkative or a socialite by choice, she simply will attend any sort of festivity to please her father. Although Isobel’s attitude can be defined as ‘bitchy’ she’s simply just being matter-of-factly. Someone has to tell the truth, even if it ends up enraging another person.


History (ten sentence minimum):

Isobel was the first daughter, and the third child of Lord Cullen Newbury and his lovely wife Constance. Unlike most marriages, they actually had feelings for each other, and this brought Isobel into a happy household. She was a healthy infant, and this was essential to her survival, since medicine was still primitive. Isobel was the shining child in her mother’s eyes, for Constance had hoped for a girl for years now. The woman had given birth to her sons, which belonged more to the state than her. Now, Constance had a daughter to dote upon.

From the time she could speak, Isobel was put through the rigorous courses of becoming ‘learned’. She was taught usually be a governess, for her mother was often with child. Isobel was taught how to charm, dance, engage in conversation, sing, read prose, and play the harp. All of these qualities were to be learned by young noblewomen, so this wasn’t uncommon. But none of these practices interested the young Newbury, not that she would ever admit it at that age. Instead, she tended to take interest in government and politics, the control system of her country.

Although it wasn’t appropriate for a girl of ten to learn battle skills, Isobel was allowed to ride horses. But only to a certain extent, for she was a fragile child at times, and her mother didn’t want to have an accident like Julian had a year or go back. So, instead, Isobel resided within the castle walls, often exploring the defense systems, inquiring the guards on how this or that worked. Initially, she became quite acquainted with phrases in battle. These, she knew, she would only use if her own manor was under attack and future husband was away. The actual combat, she would much rather leave up to the men.

But Isobel also got too old for games. She began to loose interest in the trifles of her rowdy younger sisters, and instead focused on the pregnancy of her mother. This time, Constance had grown little in the midrift section. The child would be small. Then, one faithful morning, Constance passed into labor. The child was then stillborn, and her mother died from complications. Isobel was devastated to say the least. For days, she stayed in a silent fit of rage, rather than resorting to tears. A few months after the death of her mother, Roger was ousted. The bickering of her father and brother had increased after Constance's passing. The woman could always bring them to peace, and Isobel, well she didn't suffice.

Now, after two years of grieving, Isobel is still bitter. She is sixteen years old, seventeen in the winter, and she knows that she will be attracting suitors any day. It’s hard with the exile of her eldest brother, and the return of Julian. There is too much tension in her household, and she knows its time to be the peacekeeper, as her mother was. The only question is, what if the mild mannered Isobel doesn’t have the strength to do it?

Plot Potential:
Possible peacekeeper of the Newbury men, unwanted arranged marriage (clichéd, but my muse is being awkward right now), possible friend of the newly named Queen (somebody has to befriend her after all), perhaps speaking to her newly 'exiled' eldest brother causing more family tensions, befriending the young Miss Lawley without the intentions of benefiting the marriage between her and Julian, otherwise being the 'lady' of the Newbury fiefdom.


SAMPLE RP (with this character only):

It wasn’t natural for one to be separated from another that they had known since birth. Or, at least, that’s how Isobel viewed the subject. She hadn’t seen Roger since her father disowned him, and many thought that it was better that way. Isobel wasn’t one to see her brother has that much of a bad influence, he was simply troubled. Lord Cullen and Roger hadn’t really ever gotten along, it was as natural as leaves falling from a tree. Isobel hadn’t known anything else her entire life. But Constance, her and Roger’s mother, had always been there to quell the fighting. She had been the soothing remedy, and now that remedy had dried up. Of course, Isobel had attempted to replicate her mother’s presence, but it wasn’t the same. Lost in her own grieving process, Isobel hadn’t the time (or mind for that matter) to care for the troubles of her brother and father. Now, all was wrong, and the second son, Julian, was to ascend the lordship of the Newbury fiefdom.

Isobel sighed inwardly. It wasn’t natural, not at all. No matter how much they fought, there had to be part of Lord Cullen that loved his eldest son. Then again, Isobel knew both men to be quite the stubborn fool and they tended not to like to admit their wrongdoings. The young Newbury daughter straightened her back as she removed a blank parchment leaf from the mess that littered the desk in her quarters. She smoothed out the crinkles and made sure that the splotches of ink weren’t too noticeable on it. Although Isobel would never admit it to anyone, she was quite the disorganized person. Pursing her lips, she pulled the inkwell closer to her and chose a well used quill. Dipping the point into the dark glass well, she froze. What if this was a bad idea? What if fraternizing with an exiled man meant that you too could be tossed into the gutter?

Isobel swallowed, her eyes suddenly clouding over with worry. Brow furrowing, she weighed the odds in her head. Perhaps her father wouldn’t find out. Even if she did find the letter, there was little chance that he would fully understand it. Biting the inside of her cheek, Isobel scratched out in her fine penmanship on the paper “Dear Roger”. The young woman turned her head to glance at the tapestry covered window. It had been only a week ago that she had heard the servants talking. They had said that Roger was living by the border garrison, that he was a soldier of some sort now. Against her better judgment, Isobel had inquired further, attempting to find out more about his whereabouts. The satisfaction of knowing that her elder brother was alive didn’t suffice Isobel’s yearning for the presence of her favorite sibling for long. Instead, it drove her curiosity. It was her own stupid idea to write to him, she needed (and wanted) to know about his health. But, didn’t anyone tell Isobel that curiosity killed the cat? Apparently not.

Breathing in deeply one last time, Isobel plunged back into her letter. There was no turning back now. All she could do was pray that her father didn’t

What's the name of the Creator God the Endikai worship?: ((yes))

This application needs serious work.

First of all, I could not finish reading through your appearance. It's overly glorified and belies your statement that she isn't pretty. Fix that. Read the Grammar Guru's Pet Peeves in the applications section. Oh, and no middle names! That's right in the rules.

Secondly, and more importantly, the personality makes no sense given her role on the site. The Newbury fiefdom is very severe and militaristic and virtuous. She would never end up as the 'seductress' you describe, and furthermore, that makes no sense in the time period, either. Her description on the canon list is 'serious'. As Lord Cullen's player points out, he does NOT spoil his children. She would be educated, but not spoiled. Here are the links to Lord Julian and Lord Cullen's pages.

This character makes no sense as Lady Isobel and very little sense, without drastic edits, as anything on the site. It's very clichéed (rebellious, feisty girl!) and even contradicts itself. She needs more flaws, or any.

She seems created for the express and sole purpose of romance, and that, again, isn't really what this site is about. We aren't for porn, or love-porn.

You should also avoid talking about modern things. Drink mixes? Handguns? No!

Write in third person, please. No first person in RP.

Your plot potential also makes no sense. The king is not really that interested in messing about, even with Elayne, as you would know if you read his personality, and this isn't really that sort of site anyway--he's going to war shortly.

Honestly, I got the feeling, reading this, that you just copied a character you created on another site. Please write up a new one.

I don't mean to be overly harsh, but you can clearly understand the basics of grammar and spelling, but you've just thrown in so many clichés... please revise, and get to me with any questions.

Thanks,
Sam

Hey there, this is Lei - Julian's player.

Just dropping by to say that if you have any questions about the Newbury family dynamic and fiefdom, I'll be happy to try to answer. Feel free to PM me or Lord Cullen Newbury. Also, my AIM is EternaLei777. I'm usually on in the evenings after work. :)

Thank you so much for all your help! I revised the character almost totally, and read both of the biographies that you gave me. If there is anything else I can improve on, please just say so! Or IM me at StrBryIceCream12...nerdy I know but I made it years ago.

Yeah... um, I have some concerns with this profile myself, but I'm not a mod so it's not my place to voice that kind of thing. But if you have any questions, my AIM is SquidGrill, feel free to ask.

Okay. I just spoke to Lord Cullen on IM, and I think I've fixed it up decently. If I'm not understanding the scope of the character, just tell me. Thank you so much for all of your help!

PS: Jeremy Irons is freaking awesome!

We still have a few issues.

You seem to have kept a few bits of the old app--though this is much better. WHY does she wear 'low-cut' gowns? Makes no sense. Her father wouldn't allow it. Change this.

She seems very appearance-centered. Not the character--your description of her. Surely we can be less shallow, yes? Fix this too, please.

What I mean by less shallow is... at present, I read the app and I think: it's a sob story about a beautiful girl with a dead mother. And what is THIS doing in there? "But all work and no play makes Izzie a dull girl, doesn’t it?" It just made me cringe, and does not fit the character. I don't mean to be a tyrant or stifle your fun, but think of other ways to get enjoyment out of an RP. Develop her more as a character, not just a pretty mask. It may help to focus less on physical description in your RP sample--I find that boring and narcissistic, but that's just me...

Do you know what a Mary Sue is? This has many echoes of that problem. Make her her own person. Don't sneak in bits of 'well, she's still really a seductress under the surface.' Write something that SHOWS us she is serious and intelligent, not her calling her maid a whore(!), which seems grossly out of character for her. SHOW, don't TELL, or I won't trust you to write this character. It may well be that you should ditch Lady Isobel and just play a coquette or even a whore, if that's what you're comfortable with, but I'd like to see you try a character with a little more nuance; this is not a site just for romance.

You will also want to think more about her relationship to her older brothers, since there's so much tension between Roger and Cullen right now, not to mention, likely, Roger and Julian.... that could be fun to plot. I see you've included it, so good. Arranged marriages are fine. Kidnapped is unlikely. What is more likely is that she might somehow get involved in our serf rebellion, which may well move from Lawley to Newbury--it's becoming a big deal. And while the men are away, the women get to play politics, arrange fiefdom defense, etc., so that's fun. I can see you want romance, but put that on the back burner for now, if you can: I repeat that we are not the site for shallow romantic things, though we do have some romance about, and it is definitely a possible plot.

Lastly, you use way too much modern terminology. 'Memo'? 'Hiring practices'? No. Think about the setting, please!

Go through this once more, and thank you for your patience. It is a drastic improvement!

It didn't occur to me until a little bit ago, rereading my notes on Cullen, but given Julian's looks, Constance was probably dark haired. I'm not sure how much that would matter, but it might be something to consider.

Okay. I've revised most of the application. All I have left is to fix up the history. If there is something else wrong ( which is likely ;] ) then please tell me before I completely finish.

Much, much better!

So is 'mild-mannered' the right way to describe her?

Check for things like 'loose'/'lose'--you make basic spelling mistakes, etc., and I recommend going through posts in Word before you put them up. You also use some odd phraseology. Yeah, stay away from modern, but 'passed into labor,' for instance, is clunky, and not a phrase you'd find in real life, no matter what the time period. Just try to stay conscious of things like that.

Anyway, I like this application much better now.

Please keep in touch with Julian and Cullen about plots, but in the meantime, I'm going to accept this. You can always continue to polish (oh, and please finish that last sentence in your sample RP :P ). I don't want to prolong this too ridiculously!

Welcome to Thiasa. Post for plot in our Conspiracy and Conquest forum, post in our Chatter forum to introduce yourself, and feel free to hang out in the cbox. We're a welcoming community, and always willing to help those as willing to learn as you obviously are!

I appreciate the time you put into revising this. Accepted.