Character Name: Catria Sullivan

Canon/Original: Original.

Gender: Female

Age: 24

Family: Neil Sullivan, age 29, is her husband. They have been married for five years. Torin Sullivan, age 4, is their son. Finley Kavanagh, age 21, is her younger brother. He is still unmarried. Ide Kavanagh, age 41, is her mother and is a widow. Her father was Liam Kavanagh and would have been 46.

Spirit: N/A

Occupation: serf, does mostly farm work.

Place of Habitation: Lawley Fiefdom

Physical Description (five sentence minimum): Catria is shorter than average and strong for a woman. She's shorter than average because lifting heavy things on her back stunted her growth. She's strong because she spends a lot of her time lifting things. She has pale colored skin that's dotted with freckles. Her hair is long and a brownish orange color. Her eyes are a jade green color. Her eyes are framed by long blond lashes. Above her eyes are two orange, angled eyebrows. Her face is oval shaped and she has a prominent chin. She has a short nose that's turned up at the end. Her lips are thin and small. When she smiles, one can see pale white teeth that are straight but she has a bad overbite.

Personality (eight sentence minimum): Catria is a headstrong woman. Sometimes she can be a little too headstrong. She likes arguing with people. She gets aggressive very quickly when she argues. She's sort of abrasive. She never thinks that what she says or does is wrong. She can be extremely stubborn sometimes. She doesn't like it when people don't take her seriously. She rarely thinks about her actions. Around family and friends she settles down a bit. Most of the time, and mostly around her family, she is kind and caring. She believes people too quickly and is too trusting. She likes to believe that there's good in everyone. She is clever but not very educated. She doesn't like things that are too neat and tidy. She is serious a lot of the time. She's only playful around children. She is also really protective.

History (ten sentence minimum): Catria was born to two serfs. Their names were Liam and Ide Kavanagh. When she was little and not old enough to work, she was taken care of by her grandmother. When she was three, she was joined by her baby brother, Finley. By the time she was five, she was able to do small jobs like helping during harvest or helping her mother preserve food. Quickly, she learned how to farm. When she was old enough to be educated, her father taught her how to read and write. She always wondered why she couldn't learn more but she was quickly silenced by her parents. When she was 10, she became best friends with Neil Sullivan, who was 15. They would play together and work together all the time. Her mother teased her that they would get married some day. She laughed it off. Neil had always fancied other women. She had to admit to herself that she did fancy him though he didn't fancy her.

Their relationship stayed the same until she was 16 and he started courting her. She thought it was a joke. But then he proposed to her. She wasn't ready to marry so they became lovers. They finally got married when she was 19. A few months later, King Aelfric died. This affected them little. They weren't really into politics. They went on with their lives. Catria became pregnant. She had a baby boy. They named him Torin. Not long after Torin was born, Lord Elliott died. This they wept for. They knew Lord Elliot. He was a good man. Then his son became the Lord. Catria didn't like him. None of the Serfs really did. Two years ago, her father died from heat stroke because he was pushed to hard. Which now leads them to the present.

Plot Potential: Catria's plot potential is easy. She is going to be helping with the Lawley serf Revolution.

SAMPLE RP (with this character only): Cat walked between the rows of soft, brown earth. She observed the small holes that littered the rows. She tossed a seed in each row. From just the feel of the seeds, she could tell that she was planting tomatoes. The air was heavy and when she breathed, she felt like she was inhaling water. She looked up at the sky, feeling the intense rays of the sun. The sun always seemed to be out here, even when it rained. She had to cup her hands over her eyes and squint just to see. The brightness of the sun made her sneeze. Looking around for people, she wiped her nose on her freckled arm.

"Bless you." said a voice behind her. Without looking at him, she could tell it was Neil. She could picture his smile, his tan skin, and his posture. She smiled to herself knowing that he had picked her over everyone else. She turned to face him. She was a little mad at him. He knew that she had work to do. But the anger didn't even compare to the rush of affection she felt when she saw him. Her memories paled in comparison.

"I'm already blessed Neil." she said with a wink. It was true, she thought to herself. Two years ago, Cat would never have thought that Neil liked her. Now they were lovers. She walked over to him, nearly skipping, and planted a soft kiss on his cheek.

What's the name of the Creator God the Ekaini worship?: ((yep))

Hello, I'm here to check up on your App! Your character seems fine, mostly-women are rather overdone here on Thiasa, but that's not your fault. :P My main concern is that her personality seems to be full of contradictions. This might just be me reading wrong, but 'kind and caring' doesn't necessarily seem to go with 'headstrong and opinionated'. Not that it can't work, but you might want to play with your wording.

Other concern, and this is MAJOR, is the writing here. The grammar, basically, is fine- every sentence could stand on its own. But it doesn't read very well, and gets repetitive. (It's a bad idea to begin every single sentence with the word She, and to have no commas or any kind of sentence 'linkers'.) Read what you wrote out loud, and I think you'll find that it doesn't sound quite right....a little robotic. However, it's not impossible to fix and it's a very common mistake. :) Just write what you would say if you were speaking out loud to someone, and it should be good to go!

Sam might have a few other things to point out. I dunno. I'm new to this mod thing.

Thank you. You did very well. I noticed all of the 'she's when I had posted it. I hoped I fixed it up a little bit. And to clarify, she's abrasive and headstrong when you first get to know her but to family and friends, she's kind. I hope I fixed that a little too.

Much better. (Yes, it's me again. But in disguise.) Still some problems with repetition, but then it's a long app and that's one of those things that improve with time. Thank you for revising it.

I think this should be fine, as long as you pay attention to what you write and read paragraphs over to yourself before you post to check that it has a natural cadence. It gets easier the more you do it.

With Sam's 'okay', welcome to Thiasa.