Renna tucked one stray curl behind her ear, flicking her head in a frustrated attempt to make it stay. That one stupid curl had been dipping into her mouth all evening long and it was about to drive her crazy-if other factors didn't manage to do that first, of course. The young woman checked on her bread and yoghurt yet again, and sighed to see that it was all just fine. She'd been paranoid ever since she'd spoken with Zeru today, and had noticed the hundreds of attractive Zerui women wandering around. Hah. She'd spoken with Zeru. Surely that would make Izotz happy, if her food and her body didn't. Still, she couldn't imagine that that was the trouble-her food was perfect. She might be childlike but no one could claim that she was stupid, and she'd learned quickly. It had to be her body. Her pale skin-surely that was the reason her husband never asked her to eat with him at dinner. He might like her but she was still inferior.

She heard footsteps outside and with some relief welcomed Izotz home by rising and skipping over to fling her arms around him. He was alone, that was something. One more day she could claim him as hers and hers only. "Izotz! Guess what! I have a name."

The weaver told her story with happiness glowing in her face, and gave him a look that very much read "see? I knew I could." She kissed his cheek. "And he said I could stay with him, if I needed. He's wonderful. Here, dinner's ready. " The girl hesitated, then went right for the gold. "May I eat with you today?"

"'Little Blind One'?" Izotz repeated, bemused by her story. The Warlord had talked to her, yes, and it looked as though she had managed to disarm old Zeru just as much as she'd disarmed him with her strange charm. But the name wasn't without its barb. He was commenting on the color of her eyes, and Renna hated that, didn't she?

Well--a name from the Warlord was, he supposed, a name from the warlord--regardless of meaning. And she was good enough in Baska that maybe she understood what it meant. Maybe it was affectionate. Izotz doubted this, of course; he doubted Zeru had an affectionate bone in his body. But you never knew.

"I'm glad you're happy." He kissed her, slipping his arms to their familiar spot around her waist, and pushing away thoughts of Lirain--thoughts of guilt, not desire. But he needed a wife. His people needed the stability of an heir. Her next comment registered, and he frowned. Eat with him? Hibai had never let his wives each with him; it wasn't something chiefs did. "Why do you ask that?" he said, trying to be neutral, but he worried what it might mean.

Renna frowned slightly. He sounded as if he were waiting for her to attack him, and she shifted uneasily in his arms. "...Yes, Little Blind One, and it was intended as an insult at first. I'm sure of it. But I just smiled at him and we got to talking and I kissed his cheek and gave him a present for his son, you know, Xanti...and he wants me to make a blanket for his daughter. It's fine. He likes me. He said I had honor" She shifted again, worrying how she ought to explain this next bit. It would probably be a bad idea to say that she had spoken with Zeru about the sacrifice, and asked him to break every rule, and offered herself to help him do it. So her own tone became carefully neutral.

"We were talking about the honor of women, and I asked if we were so honored why we were made to wait to eat the food we cook. He smirked at me then and said something about bad eating habits, but he also said that he did eat with his wives. Jaunko takes the first bite and then asks them to join him, as a sign of.....respect."

Here they went again, into places Renna wished she didn't let herself go but also to places something insisted she had to visit. "He asked me if you never did that. I didn't know it was allowed."

"Oh." Izotz blinked. "Well, my father never did it, but..." He looked down and away from Renna. "I don't need to be like my father. Our tribe has gone in strange directions. It was also, I think, that you're a concubine, not a wife--it's just different, and I'm sorry, but I imagine what people would say if I ate with my Thiasan concubine. But--" He straightened his back. "It doesn't matter, I'll allow it. But what else..."

He pulled back and looked at Renna, stroking one thumb over the soft curve of her jaw, to rest near her ear.

"There's something else, something you don't want to tell me." Was it Hibai's paranoia? No--no, Izotz told himself. It was not. It was a lover's sure knowledge. And he didn't like it. "What else happened... what is it?"

Renna quivered slightly and pushed her face into the curve of his finger. She oughtn't to revel in his every touch so much-but how could she help it? He read her like a book, which certainly wasn't something she had expected from him. Arm at waist and hand at face. She smiled to herself at her silly little rhyme and then just looked up at him, green eyes squarely meeting black. "There's a lot."

He'd get angry if she told him, she knew he would. Renna decided that she'd leave the matter of the sacrifice alone. Zeru had spoken to her and soothed her and she'd offered herself with his refusal. It was over and done now, and she had a feeling that even if she told him the truth there was no way that staunch, traditional Izotz would believe that the Warlord had comforted the little interloper concubine. So she skipped lightly to the next troubling subject. Surely he would find it troubling enough to suit even him.

"...Most of it revolves around how many pretty Zerui girls there are. Single. Young. With trinkets in their hair and gold at their ears."

The weaver drooped. This was a perfect way to avoid angering him, but it was doing little good in keeping up her high spirits. Every word was true. "I keep wondering if every moment is the last I'll have with you. Alone." Botheration. All she'd wanted after being told that she was worth something by Zeru was to go home and take her husband's kisses, and certainly more besides. This was going to spoil everything. So she trailed a finger down the muscles of his arm, and looked at him with the most pathetic look she could muster. "...I'm afraid you'll forget me."

Of course. Izotz always forgot that the custom was so different--and it struck him as strange that she even wanted him that much, or that often. A lot of women joked that they wished their husbands were chiefs and could take more wives or concubines, because they didn't like 'cooking' for them so often. But Renna was sometimes insatiable. And that was wonderful... but unless she was barren, which he half-hoped, eventually she would have a son or daughter for him. And then, if he didn't have a real wife, there would be problems. The tribe would not be willing to follow a halfblood.

"You're a beautiful woman, Renna. And a good one." Izotz did not speak flatteringly, but in the calm, detached tone of one stating a fact. "I will have to take a wife, you know that. As a duty, to my tribe. Maybe you'll like her."

There were some chiefs who enjoyed their women together. Somehow, Izotz felt that he ought not to bring this up with Renna for several years.

"Come--do you want to eat with me?" He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her cheek, her touch on his arm already affecting him. But he was hungry, he had had a long day speaking with other chiefs and trying to repair alliances.

"Yes!"

She glowed, the way she always did when she was happy. It didn't matter to her if Izotz had spoken in flattery or flatly, he'd said what he said and he spoke the truth. He'd never called her beautiful before. Of course he hadn't, with her milky skin and blind eyes...but it was nice to know that he thought it. Renna pushed the thoughts of the future intruder out of her mind just for the moment. She didn't want to worry about where she'd sleep with another woman taking over, or if she would have to obey the Real Wife as a servant or slave, or if her children would be ashamed to take their mother's name. Right now she only wanted to remember that he had called her beautiful.

The girl skipped over and plopped down on the carpet of skins, offering her husband the first bite held between her fingers. She laughed when he took it in his lips and then dug into her own meal, somewhat reverently. After several months of waiting for Izotz to finish, it felt oddly daring to be doing this-even if Zeru had said it was fine. So she blushed. "...What were you about today? Did you talk to Amalur at all?"

Izotz took the food from Renna's fingers, his mouth gentle, and smiled at her. That was very pleasing. And seductive. When had she learned to be so seductive?

"Hardly at all," he said, more soberly, answering her question.

Izotz had been avoiding his mother. He feared what she thought of him for not condemning the woman who had killed her husband. But she hadn't donned mourning, either, and he felt she'd known--even if she was still unwilling to admit it fully to him--that there was something wrong with Hibai. Still, he had been her life for many years. It was hard to move on.

"It is very hard with my mother now that my father is dead, but there's nothing I can do about it. We'll all move on sooner or later. The Gathering helps. I spent most of today talking to other chieftains Hibai alienated, making good on old alliances." Such as his promise to Lirain, but that he wouldn't mention. She hadn't said she would hold it to him, anyway. And though this wasn't perhaps the time to bring it up... "Renna, it is likely that I'll have to come home with a wife. The tribe needs stability. An unmarried chieftain with a Thiasan concubine... I just don't want our tribe to die.

"But more importantly," he continued, biting into a piece of bread. "This is good, by the way. More importantly, we've been talking about war. The Thiasans are mustering. It's going to be soon, particularly after the Warlord's sons went on that foolish raid. Perhaps as soon as this fall, perhaps this winter or next spring--it's soon. I'm sorry." He shook his head, and finished his food in a few economical bites. He was, he realized, used to hurrying so that Renna could eat; it actually relaxed him not to need to do that anymore. "This isn't women's talk. But it's been on my mind." He shrugged.

"It's been on my mind too." She spent more time watching him than actually eating, and stifled a giggle. It had never occured to her that he had hurried to keep her from waiting too long, and the courtesy was touching. Renna, in turn, was careful to eat very prettily indeed, just for him. Tonight she would be a Thiasan lady.

Still, she had to sober. "It's been very much on my mind. And Zeru's too. I offered to help, you know-to stall things for another year and then maybe a miracle would happen. But I guess that's just me pretending again. Things are going to happen; they've been building for years now. Since before I was born. I still think we should all try one more time to make things....better. I'm here now. I know how to speak and not offend both parties, and I know how to manage peace. You know I do. Still. I dream too much."

Renna looked at her hands. "And I guess I...know...that you...have to." She didn't add the rest; it was too painful to speak aloud. "But I don't feel good about it. I'm used to falling asleep against you, and I did so want to be your..." Ack. Embarrassment was seizing her tongue again. "And I don't know where I'll find my comfort. I've decided I probably don't want to have children." She didn't sound terribly convinced. "I mean, I do-but not to have them be teased and rejected and ashamed all because of me. I would feel awful." The dark head dropped, and she set down her last piece of bread wih a shake of her curls.

"Well, there is hardly any way to prevent it, unless you don't want to..." Izotz gestured vaguely toward their bed. "You see, there's a bit of a contradiction there, if you do want to sleep with me but you don't want... I think there are ways some women know, such as not coupling on certain days, to prevent conception. And that's your right, though I suppose you would have to talk to a healer." It made him uncomfortable. "But you know, the people accept you now. Even I can see it."

He leaned forward to touch her on the arm, gently. "And your children would be true Zerui, not ostracized in my tribe, I would make sure of that. I would like..." But you couldn't tell a concubine you wanted her children. It was almost--oddly--not his place.

"It's up to you." He sat back, his hands on his knees, his posture a little slumped. He had put her in a difficult position. It was hard for both of them.

She looked at him with a measure of agony, and sat back on her heels in imitation of him. "Oh, but I want-"

Renna bit on her tongue. He would like? What would he like? Would he like her to-?.... She sat mute for a moment, wrestling with herself, and then drew a deep, slow breath. "I would love them more than anything but you. I would, Ema. But for all you say and for all Jaunko says, I do not feel accepted. Oihana is still the only one to speak with me, except a few wild young men who stop by to ask if I am white all over. I am still sorgin and Snake Eyes and even Xixili, although I have long forgiven that."

Her smile was awkward. "If you think they will be fine, and if you truly, truly could love them as your own....then I will say I want them more than I have wanted anything. I see them when I dream."

The weaver reached across the space between them to clasp his hand. "If not, I will be patient and content myself with helping other women with theirs. I am used to patience now."

Izotz leaned forward and took her in his arms. This was not the time when he could think of any words he wanted to say. Things were unfortunate. That was how it was. But he wanted to show Renna, in any way that he could, that he wanted to make something with her.

"Your soul is good, Renna, we need more Zerui like you. Your children would be a credit to the Zerui, and I--" He hadn't dreamed of them. His dreams were haunted by violence and sorrow, not happiness; by death, not birth. But he had spent time imagining what they might look like. "Anyway, if we did have children," he said, adopting a detached tone once again, even as his lips descended toward the soft, pale skin of her neck, "I'm so dark that they might just look normal, and there are other Baskar with light eyes. Only stupid ignorant people and children really believe in magic, anyway. The others are just teasing, or uncomfortable--or jealous. You know--since I haven't married any of their daughters, and just taken you." He kissed her, his mouth slow and soft against her skin.

She sighed, and not all of it was from disappointment. If only it could stay that way. Renna bit that thought back and instead looked up at him through the kiss, letting her own lips move against his. The girl stroked a hand down his cheek to his jaw and nuzzled into him with a faint smile. "They should be jealous. I'm married to you."

Her arms linked around him, and then all at once she twirled away and moved back to him, guiding his arm around her waist as she clasped his free hand. "Dance with me?"

Renna demonstrated with a smile, but she did not follow Thiasan protocol. She kept her body pressed to his as she moved, with her lips nestled on his shoulder. "I've always wanted to dance with my husband. And you know..." Her kiss traveled back up to his mouth. "I won't hate her. Or you. Not forever, at least...I shall just be very, very sad. For a long time, and I'll miss sleeping with my head on your shoulder-" She paused for another kiss. "And I won't like following her orders. But our children will be beautiful. And I'll be fine if you only kiss me, every now and then. Do you promise?"

"Of course." Izotz moved next to Renna, though the 'dance'--a rhythmic swaying--was nothing like any dance he had ever done. Except, of course, the most natural sort of dance, for which he was beginning to feel a growing urge. But that could wait. Women needed to build up to things, Izotz knew. He hadn't had very many lovers, but he did care about the satisfaction of his partner. Particularly Renna. Particularly because of what he had done to her, which he never really forgot.

"I do promise," he said, repeating his oath, and kissed her on the cheek to show it, his breath coming hot and fast against her skin. "And Renna. I want to say--that I'm sorry. The first night, when I took you, that was wrong. I knew it was wrong. It was my pride, and I hurt you, and that is... unforgivable... and I am sorry." He looked away, stiffening in her arms. His passion ebbed beneath emotion.

She looked at him then, and her eyes carried such a joy and pride that she was transfigured. Renna stilled his lips very gently with her own, then put up a finger to them to hold her place. "....Unforgettable, certainly. I wish that were not so, and I could just put it out of my mind forever. For your sake I wish that. Unfortunately I'm human."

Her smile twisted for a moment, but then returned to its usual placid state. "But, Izotz. I've long since forgiven. I know you'll never do it again, to anyone...and see, I've been blessed for my efforts. You love me. That's the most I can ask."

The little woman took him in her arms and kissed him once more, very softly. "And today I finally know just how much. Tonight will be my wedding night-the way it should have been-because your heart has finally married mine. I'll do my best to forget everything else. This is my first."

Renna smiled then, delightedly, and drew his face to hers with both hands braced on his jaw. For a moment she debated about getting him to move to a more secluded location, perhaps a meadow under the sky-but then her lips met his out of an aching need and the thought fled away faster than starlight. She met him with fire, the wildness of her joy rising up and escaping in a thousand scalding kisses. The concubine ignored the Thiasan half of her mind that was going on about propriety and young maidenhood and simply slid one arm out of its sleeve so she could bare her shoulder. After months, she could finally do this wholeheartedly. No conflict of any kind whatsoever, and there was no way she was not going to enjoy it.

Izotz smiled a little wickedly.

"I hope you don't forget everything," he murmured in her ear, reaching forward to help her with her tunic. He slid it over her head, his hands moving slowly up the soft skin of her sides, then her breasts, then her arms. The pallidity of her body had become part of the attraction, a mystery that he tried to trace down to its source. It was, to him, beautiful, even if others called her a witch for it.

"I'll make it more enjoyable this time."

He leaned in to kiss her, pressing his body against hers and bearing her down, slowly, to the bed.

Yes, he'd take his time with this.

[FADE OUT]

He certainly had managed to make it more enjoyable. Renna lay curled up inside his arm, with her eyes closed against his shoulder and a smile lighting her face. She'd done her part too-now that she was familiar with him, she had looked up into his eyes at just the right moment. The thrill of had been momentous, and lingering. He loved her.

The young woman turned in his arms and kissed him again, then stroked a hand sleepily through his hair. "We should do it that way more often."

She wondered for a moment if this coupling would be the one to give her a child. She hoped so. It would be right, somehow-a moment of complete union, resulting in another soul. That way when she looked at her child's face she would have no conflict about his origins, and she would not have to lie if he asked if she loved him. Renna's brow furrowed thoughtfully for a moment, and she gave a little sigh. What if it was a girl? Oh, a little girl would be lovely, every bit as much as a little boy. And since she couldn't inherit anyway, perhaps it would cause less trouble later. As almost a reflex, the weaver whispered into her husband's ear.

"I want my child to be your firstborn."

Yes, dear Lord. Please let me be first in something. It would help make up for everything else that she was lagging in.

Izotz sighed quietly and drew Renna closer, so she couldn't see the troubled expression that crossed his face. She would have to bring that up. But he wouldn't say anything. His tactlessness had gotten him into trouble before; he wouldn't let it do so again. If anyone bore the brunt of his concubine bearing a child before his wife, it would be him. Still--this did mean he would need to take a wife, and sooner rather than later. The tribe would think it bad luck if he had a child only by Renna before he was even married; but that bad luck would be his, not hers. She'd be looked upon with, if anything, greater respect for giving the Zerui another soul.

And so he would say nothing.

The only problem was how upset she would be when he did take a wife. Oh, she said she didn't mind now, but...

It was strange how this sort of closeness made life so damnably complicated. But then, he supposed that it always did. His love for his father had driven him nearly mad, before he had, painfully, laid it aside.

"I hope it is," he said quietly, at least. And it was true.