The sun set over the field of grass and barley, turning everything in its sight red and gold as Eguzki's blood spilled over the land. The day slowly faded around Esti, leaving its greying shadow behind. It would soon be night, but the Warlord's daughter had no desire to get up and leave the field of horses behind. She'd spent an hour in the longhouse with Zeru and Amaya, being scolded for her irresponsible behavior and the way she'd talked back to her mother. Amaya had no idea how thankful Esti had been for her presence. If she hadn't been there, her father's desperation for control over her might have driven him to violence. He was known for his bad temper, shouting at and on the off chance striking out at his children and family.

As it were, the only lashing she'd gotten had been a verbal one, but it had been no less painful. Zeru took pride in constantly reminding his daughter of all the things that she did wrong and all the flaws she had, and made her feel worthless at the end of it all. Though Esti's pride wouldn't let her admit it out loud, she wanted to make her father proud of her. But marrying Xanti wouldn't do that, it was obvious, and so what could she do?

Her mind drifted as she watched the clouds turn silver, and finally purple-blue as the sun sank entirely below the hilltops. Her mind drifted back to Iñaki, as it often did during the day, when she was lonely. If she thought on it long enough, she could still feel his arms around her, crushing her to his chest, the slippery warmth of his hip against her thigh. And more importantly, the fire that had burned through her belly when he kissed her, hotter than Eguzki's flames. Iña... he was always there when she needed him. No matter what she needed.

Her eyes opened slowly, taking in the dark shapes of the horses as they settled down to sleep. So where was Iñaki now?

"Will you be ready to take on the interlopers?"

Iñaki lounged in a peach-tree, his back against the trunk and one of his legs swinging idly below. He held a hard piece of immature fruit, idly tossing it between his hands. Mikel was on the branch above, plucking leaves and dropping them onto his head. Peru was somewhere with a girl, for which he'd later get much teasing. While he was gone, though, the tension between Mikel and Iñaki was palpable.

"Of course I'll be ready." Iñaki tossed the peach from one hand to another, listening to the faintly wooden sound it made when it hit his palm. "I'm doing the shooting, and then I'll come up after you."

"But I thought--"

"I'm going up after you."

Iñaki could practically feel Mikel's demeaning shrug. Another leaf floated down to rest on his shoulder.

"Some of us will probably die," Mikel added, his tone forcedly nonchalant. But Iñaki heard a note of fear.

"Maybe." He wouldn't even think of it in front of Mikel.

"Just thought I'd mention it, Txiki*, in case your parents still thought you were too fragile to find out what really happens when Eguzki takes back your soul." There was a rustle of leaves, and Mikel's shadow passed over Iñaki as his friend jumped from the tree. Once he was on the ground, he gave a jaunty wave.

"See you later, Mikel." Iñaki tipped his head back against the cool trunk of the peach tree and closed his eyes. They could die... and so? What would he regret? He'd die in the service of Eguzki--in the service of his father. And... well, he shouldn't regret anything. Except... Garoa, who had treated the problems he'd had breathing when he was small, had always said that before everything else, you ought to be true to what you wanted. Then you would know where your strengths lay, and better serve the Tribe.

Iñaki lowered himself so he lay on his belly along the branch, then swung down from the tree, landing in a crouch. He stood up, glancing up at the sky; red light filtered through the branches of the peach tree.

Esti would be with the horses at this time of day.

She was.

"Esti?" He had crept up on her quietly, moving between the sighing, shifting shadows of the drowsing horses. "I'm sorry." He folded his legs and sat down beside her.

*Little One (demeaning)

Esti had settled herself back among the grasses, the imprint of her body creating a soft nest of the rustling plants. They wove patterns around her head, dancing in the light breeze that swept over the backs of the horses. It had been a hot day, and as much as she could still feel the stick of sweat even though she'd doused herself in the river, the scent of horses was stronger as they sweated.

Fortunately for Esti, the smell was soothing, not repulsive, and she found her eyes closing as she slowly began to relax, her buzzing nerves falling into a still quiet. A cricket chirped somewhere near her ear, and she instinctively turned her face into the sound even though her eyes were closed. A second little peep escaped the creature as it hopped away. And over the sound of the chirp, she heard, "Esti?"

The girl opened her eyes halfway, not bothering to get up from her reclined position. How did Iñaki always manage to do that? Every time she thought of him, he appeared -- and that had been problematic when she was still angry with him. But as always, the mood had passed quickly, leaving her simply bitter because he wouldn't approach her for fear he'd make her angry at him, and a little lonely. Iña apologized, and though at this point she'd already forgiven him, but it was still nice to hear. Esti propped herself up on her elbows, for once her dark hair contained in a twisted bun, and smiled.

"You must have Eguzki's ear, Iña. I was just thinking of you and here you are. And forget it, I'm not mad at you -- I forgive you." And then, without warning, she sat up and flung herself at him, tumbling them both backward onto the grass. She landed on his chest and quickly rolled off, onto her back in the grass beside him.

"Okay, I lied. Now I forgive you."

Iñaki felt his heart open up like a hand, relaxing from a tightly-clenched fist into languorous repose. Esti flung herself at him, and he caught her, tumbling them both back into the grass. She quickly rolled away, and he shifted in the long grass to look at her, propping himself up on one elbow.

"Esti." His voice was, for once, very serious, not like Iñaki at all. "I've been thinking a lot... and I don't want to have any regrets. I don't want to devote my life to just obeying Father or Xanti or Mikel. I want to do one thing that's really for me, that's really..." When he picked his hand up, it was trembling faintly. He lowered it to her cheek, his fingers brushing her skin. "... well, for you, too, Esti. You know I love you."

Coward, coward. He'd had to say it like that--with the 'you know' in front of what was important--hadn't he? And now he was trembling on the lip of indecision. He leaned over her, and the grass bent around him in a whisper of tentative wind. Her skin was humid with life, a little sticky, and she smelled of Esti.

"Damn this," he hissed, and laced his hand tightly through the hair at her nape, his fingers sliding upwards to cup the vulnerable shell of her skull. He kissed her, and there was nothing tentative about it. His body twisted over hers like a snake. When finally he pulled away, to breathe out, then in, he could no longer be sure whose heartbeat thundered so loudly in his ears.

Her attention was caught again not by his movement, for a stray breeze had tickled her cheek and made her turn her face away, but his voice. The was he was speaking... it hardly sounded like Iñaki, and she had to turn her face back to his to make sure she was really speaking to her brother. It was him, of course; it was still Iña, there in the grass with her, and Esti was glad. She smiled up at him, her mind latching onto the phrase "You know I love you", tearing away the 'you know' for what was really there.

No one could have said Iñaki lacked conviction who had heard him speak just now. It showed the potential of a true Zerui warrior, the potential that lay just under his skin. He moved over her, shifting closer, and Esti instinctively moved nearer. It was a reflex she'd had even as a child, though it was for a much different purpose now than then.

She felt the change in Iñaki's mind as he made the sudden decision even before his hand was in her hair, cradling her head as he bent to kiss her. His lips were full of passion and promise, and just as the night they'd gone swimming, when she'd caught him off guard, he surprised her with careful ferocity. Esti returned the kiss with equal fervor, taking the opportunity when he leaned back to push her body upwards into his and twist, rolling them over and over through the grass. And when they finally stopped, she remained exactly where she was, sprawled across his belly and chest. There was nowhere she would have rather been.

"I love you," she whispered, her face just a breath away from his. Esti let a stray hand run through Iña's hair as she lay there, feeling his heart beat in time with her own.

Iñaki lay still beneath his sister, her body warming him from above, the shape of her body drawing fire from his own where they touched. Around him, the grass bent in the wind, tickling his skin.

"Esti." His was smiling too widely to kiss her again, a blissful expression that had taken over his face. There was hardly anything he felt he needed to say to her. "You're the only person..." He leaned up to kiss her again, his tongue sliding into her mouth. His hands moved down her ribcage, to her waist, and down to where her tunic had begun to ride up at the tops of her thighs. "Esti--you've never been with a man before, have you?"

He drew back, lips close to hers, his breath moist against her cheek, then further back, to look her in the eyes. He could see her pupils were dilated, her gaze hazy. "I mean, you don't mind--that is--" Iñaki was stuttering again. It was completely different, somehow, with Esti. And while he'd had women before, he hadn't actually completed the act with many. Almost against his will, his hand moved down her thigh.

Esti curled against his chest, her hands tracing invisible patterns over his tanned skin. She could see the smile on his face dimly in the darkness, becoming clearer as her eyes adjusted to the night. She couldn't remember the last time she'd seen him look so happy. He mumbled her name again, and she shivered against him -- keep saying my name. Don't ever say anyone elses again. As he leaned up, Esti felt all the muscles in his body tense. She bent her head, meeting him halfway as their mouths met again, her lips parting easily for him as the kiss deepened.

His hands ran down her back, sliding over her waist, her hips, coming to rest on her thighs, a warm weight. The touch of his fingertips seemed to scald her skin, and everywhere they touched was flooded with the heat of their closeness. Esti could feel the hem of her tunic sliding up, exposing more skin for his hands to explore -- and she gripped his shoulders, letting him draw back, tracing the line of his collarbone as he spoke.

"Esti--you've never been with a man before, have you?"

The answer was, of course, no. But before her hazy mind realized who exactly she was lying here with, her mouth dropped open to answer yes. She wanted to impress him. She wanted to seem mature. And most of all, she simply would not be able to bear it if he decided he would not ruin her innocence and left her here now. The warmth of his hand slid down Esti's thigh, making her sigh gently. The grass bent over them, running its long tendrils against her bare legs, tickling her. She couldn't lie to Iñaki.

"No," she murmured. "I've never."

Esti ran one hand down Iña's side, supporting herself on her elbows. Delicately, tentatively, she rested her hand on his hip, feeling the warmth of his skin, the subdued rush of blood under her palm. Her eyes found his, large and dark in the night --

"But please don't stop now."

"I won't, if you're sure." He could see that she was. Then his breathing sped up again, and everything was the scent of Esti's skin and her hair coming loose from its bun, and they rolled over and over in the wind-whipped grass.

It was a little awkward when it came time for him to enter her, and he looked her straight in the eye, making sure she knew how it would be.

When they were finished, he lay next to her, his arms around her, her head pillowed on his shoulder, their legs tangled together. Iñaki watched the slow movement of Esti's torso as his own breath lifted it up and down. Their sweat evaporated into the air, cooling their bodies, but Iñaki felt there was still a warm core of shared heat beneath it all, and though his bodily passion was spent, his breath was still a little fast in excitement, and his heart beat like a drum.

"Was that all right?" he whispered, stroking her hair. "Esti?"

She was sure.

The next thing Esti knew, her tunic was pulling up over her head and her hair was falling out of its bun, spilling in messy waves on Iñaki's chest and the grass. And they were tumbling through the grass, rolling over each other as though they were children again, pouncing on one another and pinning the unfortunate victim to the ground with a triumphant smile.

He looked into her eyes, and she knew there was no turning back -- she was afraid, a little, but Iña was here. And she knew Iña would take care of her. And then, he was glowing and perfect in the moonlight above her, his dark hair mingling with hers on the ground, and everything was black and gold and starry in the shadow of the day.


She didn't know how long they'd been lying in the field this way, all tangled up in one another. Their legs were tied together in an endless knot, and their arms stuck wrapped around each other tight like a promise. Esti couldn't place a name to the feeling that swept over her in the aftermath. She felt worry, but no regret; bruised, but not hurt. And each time she moved, breathing in and feeling his belly rise to meet her, warm and solid under her, the core of heat that still lingered in her belly gave off little sparks, making her mumble nothings and snuggle closer with each one.

She was sure her heart was still pounding, but she couldn't be sure which heartbeat was hers anymore -- they were beating with the same rhythm. And at his quiet words, Esti rolled her head to look at him, smiling with lips reddened with kisses. "It hurt a little, at first, but... it went away," Esti mumbled quietly, blushing a little at the frankness of it. But he knew her now, and she him. They could trust one another, they could have faith in one another, if nothing else.

"It was better than alright. You knew -- you know I wanted this. Iña, I..." Esti struggled to find the words, coming up short. Nothing in Baska or Scalian was powerful or complex enough to describe the feeling. She bent to kiss him, then hesitated, wondering if it was too soon? It was a ridiculous idea, but she tentatively drew back, stroking her hands along the planes of his shoulders.

"There aren't words." She let herself smile, a little, dropping her eyes with a new-found shyness. "Not for this."

"There are always words." Iñaki tweaked her nose, teasing, but he knew what she meant. He let out a long breath and closed his eyes. He slid one and up to her head, then pulled her down onto his chest once again, holding her tightly against him.

"The reason I did this... Esti, Xanti and Mikel and Peru and I are going to go on a raid." He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing. "It's not... it's not that I. I don't want to be killed, but we need a sacrifice, and I know we can do it. I'm a good archer, and Xanti can take down any number of interlopers." He bit his lip.

The wind suddenly felt colder, blowing his hair across his face, and he sneezed.

"I'm sure everything will be fine, but it got me thinking... I've always loved you, and I'm Zeru's son, too. How can this be wrong? I know we've both felt like this for... well, I'll be honest, arreba-maite*... I'm very scared. I needed you probably more than you needed me." Iñaki's shame raced over him in a prickly blanket of heat, and he hugged his sister more tightly to him. "It's so ridiculous... I don't think any of the others are scared."


*sister-love

Esti let herself be drawn back down onto his chest, closing her eyes and listening to his voice with a quiet sigh. That was, until, he mentioned going on a raid, and a sacrifice, and dying --

"But it's dangerous!" she blurted out, twisting so she could look at him, their bodies pressed together still. Whether they both remained there for warmth or comfort or simply enjoying each others company, she didn't know. But the thought of him dying was unbearable. Esti wouldn't be able to live without him near, at least not here in the Zerui lands. She'd be forced to marry Xanti and make her father happy, and that wasn't what she wanted.

"And it's not wrong. I can look you in the eyes and see everything that's right." She lay there, thinking, for a moment, her eyelashes fluttering as she blinked, tracing patterns across his chest as she settled her head there again. Before Esti lifted her head a second time, she moved to the side and kissed the place where his heartbeat thrummed against her ear.

"Anaia-maite*, I've always needed you. Even when we were little and Xanti didn't have time for me, I looked to you to take care of me. I even trusted you to take care of me tonight... so maybe it's your turn to need me for once. And you know I've always loved you." The urge came over her to comfort him, to stroke his hair, kiss every inch of bare flesh until the fear he had went away. Esti dropped her gaze at the thought, blushing, then quietly brought her hand up to brush the stray pieces of hair the wind had blown off of his face.

"You aren't being ridiculous. They're scared, but they're too brave or too stupid to admit it. Iñaki, I don't want you to go. It's so dangerous. What if you were hurt, or killed? I'd be..." Well, he could fill in that blank however he wanted, but they both knew that if she grieved too openly over anything that befell him there would be questions. And somehow she felt the hard edge of fear that they would be found out for this night -- but it was lessened by the chill of danger the notion of a raid brought with it.

Iñaki shivered under her touch like a nervous horse, and caught her hand with his own when she reached up to brush back his hair. He brought both of their hands, clasped, to his chest, to rest against his heart.

"I have to go," he said at last. "I know you're worried, but you know I have to go if Xanti goes, and it's the right thing to do. Without a sacrifice the Zerui will all die, and there are more important things... I mean, there are more important things than us. I didn't always think so... but now--I love you, Esti, but I'd be pathetic if that was all I was."

His expression turned a little desperate "You see what I mean, don't you? I wish... let's not talk about this anymore." Iñaki rolled over, wrapping his arms around his sister and crushing her smotheringly close, his face buried in her hair. "We've waited too long for this to let Father and Xanti intrude now too--" and he gave a short, watery laugh, then moved to kiss her cheek, then the corner of her mouth, then her lips. They were pressed together like twins in the womb. Her breath was hot on his face, and he almost thought he could taste her sadness; or maybe that was only the rhythm of her breath.

"Oh, Esti."

Part of her wanted to weep or fight or beg him to run away. And the other part knew that what Iñaki was saying was exactly right. They needed a sacrifice -- midsummer was fast approaching, and without Eguzki's favor they would have a bad harvest and lose many people during the winter. And the horses, Esti would be damned if they lost the horses in the cold.

Then again, she was probably already damned for what they'd just done. But she didn't care; let the sky fall down and crush her now if it'd been wrong.

He rolled her over again, and as Iña buried his face in her loose hair, Esti turned her head to the side to look out at the grass. They'd made a veritable track out of the crushed grass, highlighting their path to where they lay now -- she thought she could see the dark hanging shapes of their discarded clothing, but it was too far off to tell. His kiss on her cheek made her pay attention, moving languorously underneath him as he made his way to her lips.

"I know you have to go. Just promise me you'll tell me, when you go, and I'll wait for you to come home." One hand ran up from its place his hip, over his back to come to rest on the nape of his neck, feeling his quick heartbeat pulse against the palm of her hand. "Iñaki," she mumbled in response to her name, picking her head up off the grass to press her mouth to his. She lingered on his lips for a while before flopping back into the grass without much grace.

"It felt like we waited forever. I know, this is for us, and they can't intrude on us here, but... they're always there. Sometimes I wish they'd just..." She trailed off, biting back the words that threatened to come out. Esti could almost hear her mother's scolding at the mere thought -- you horrible, blaspheming girl! -- and she pushed it to the back of her mind, giving him a smile.

"I'm sorry. I won't think about it anymore, Iña, and we can just stay here like this."

"I'll come back."

It was funny how Iñaki's confidence built when he had someone to be confident for. Hell--someone to stay alive for. He felt himself buoyed up on waves of reassurance he'd intended for her, and wondered if this was where other people got their optimism, or if only he found it so.... found it, that is, by seeing himself through the eyes of someone else. Through Esti's eyes, he was invincible.

He kissed her again, and closed his eyes. He could feel the heat of the sun dwindling on his body, Eguzki's light leaching from the darkness behind his lids. In the sudden hush before the cicadas began to chirp--a moment like the quiet before a rainfall--he felt enveloped in peace and silence, as though he and Esti lay together in some vast womb. Iñaki couldn't even feel his heartbeat now, only a blissful coolness that spread itself through his body.

He breathed out. The movement tugged at a sweet knot of pain in his chest; it was the kind of pang that came from letting go a moment that was pure happiness.

With Esti, the world fit together. They needed no one else, as long as this interminable evening lasted--in the pause between daylight and darkness.

"I'll come back."

He sounded so sure, and it was strange to her because Iñaki was the nervous child, indecisive, unsure. At least, that was how the tribe saw him, and Esti had heard enough talk of it, though she didn't feel that way herself. He was different when they were together; she didn't know why, only that she was happy to see him confident and proud, finally, after all this time. Iña finally saw himself the way she'd always seen him.

He kissed her, the sweet taste of him filling her up. Esti held her breath even as he breathed out, not wanting to let the moment escape her. After a minute, her breath began to ease out slowly, faster when she realized that he was still with her and was not going to leave. They were together, at long last together. And a peace and reassurance that Esti had never known before fell over her like the night, easing all the heat from her body, easing all the weight from her shoulders.

She was light as air, and would have floated away, she was sure, if he weren't there holding her tight, holding her down. Or perhaps she was buoying him up. Their breaths cycled in and out in an endless circle of hush, heartbeats finally coming down.

The sweet melody of a childhood lullaby lilted through her head, and Esti hummed it quietly, feeling the vibrations thrum through both their bodies just as she had when his voice rumbled through her, dark as a thundercloud. She didn't want to say anything just yet, afraid to ruin the relative peace of the twilight with words. But more importantly, afraid that too loud a noise would startle the horses and bring someone from camp running to calm them.

She wrapped her arms around Iñaki's neck, and in that moment, they were simply infinite.

Mikel had his doubts about Iñaki's ability to keep a secret. The sniveling little boy had no idea how important this attack would be. No idea how important anything was, and none of the fortitude necessary to distance himself from a situation and do what was right.

So he followed him. Mikel was one of the best hunters in the tribe, able to move in absolute silence, and Iñaki (who tended to gallumph) was one of the worst. He wasn't surprised to find that the Little One didn't hear him, or notice when he settled down in the high grass at the edge of the horse-field to watch him.

And he saw everything.

What was this? He'd known Iñaki was capable of some terrible things, but not this. This could disrupt the Tribe entirely. He could say nothing--you did not speak out against the son of a Warlord. You did not. But... his mind stumbled. If Iñaki met with an accident on the raid... a tragedy, certainly, but... if it came to it, Mikel would give his life to save the tribe. That Iñaki wouldn't do the same didn't mean Mikel couldn't--

He didn't let himself think the rest of the words, but stood up almost silently and melted away into the gathering darkness.

Almost silently.

Iñaki looked up, his heart suddenly in his throat, his arms tightening around Esti.

"There's someone out there." The flicker of a silhouette, which vanished. His breathing sped up, and he raised himself to a crouch, peering through the hazy gloom--but it was no good. It was that peculiar time of day between sunset and complete darkness, which tricked the eye and left invisible ghosts darting on the edge of one's vision. It was impossible to say if he'd really seen something--but he'd heard something...

Esti had nearly drifted off when a noise brought her back to full wakefulness. She drew a deep breath in, her chest rising and falling quickly, the breath crushed from her lungs as Iñaki suddenly tightened his embrace. The flush of happiness at his protectiveness was fleeting in the wake of the sound. It was too deliberate to be a stray horse, too clumsy to be some night predator. And Iñaki shifted off of her to peer out into the darkness, both of them knowing the danger they were in.

"I heard it too," she whispered, her voice barely a breath as she propped herself up on one elbow, bringing her free arm up to cover her breasts. It was a ridiculous gesture -- if someone had found them, then they had already been seen and trying to cover up the obvious wasn't going to do them any good. Really, there was only one logical explanation as to why two teenagers would be found naked in the field at night.

Esti looked to her brother, sitting very still in a crouch, to try and find some hint that he had identified the noise. Perhaps they'd both been wrong and it had been a deer passing by, through the brush. She could only hope. As she bent her head to try and duck under the grasses -- she'd been beneath him, so maybe only Iña had been seen and she could protect them both by staying low -- a spot of dirt against the white of her thigh caught Esti's eye. She reached down and swiped at it to brush it off, and the speckle smeared. It took her a moment to realize that it was just a little blood.

If someone were out there, watching them, they'd be helpless against punishment. The evidence of their crime was there between Esti's legs.

She suddenly felt very foolish, for keeping him out here, for endangering them both. "I'm sorry, Iña, I kept us out here." Her voice remained at the same delicate volume, a hint of desperation biting at the edges of her tone. Scrubbing her hand against the crushed grass beneath her, Esti tried to clean off the blood before slowly placing her hand over her breasts again, overcome with something like shame.

"Don't worry," Iñaki said tensely, still peering through the blackness. He didn't notice Esti's ablutions, and would have worried even more if he had. "I don't see anything..." He shook his head. "It must have been one of the horses, or a bat."

He turned back to Esti, and put a hand on her cheek. "Come on, we ought to get dressed and get back to camp. You go first. I can always stay out all night and say I was out on a long hunt." It wasn't unusual for Iñaki to spend days out hunting without telling anyone. Zeru would know it was because Iñaki wanted to avoid him, but that wasn't anything new. Iñaki always wanted to avoid his father, and, in fact, almost everyone else. Esti aside, he very much preferred undemanding solitude to the company of his friends.

If you could really call them that. Peru was all right, but Mikel was too high-and-mighty. And (Iñaki had to face facts) he was jealous--Mikel had gotten all the charisma that should've been his, all the charm and easy skill in combat and leadership. But he was right. Most of the time he was perfectly correct, and that was why Iñaki had to go on the raid--that, and he had to protect his friends. He couldn't leave their backs uncovered, not Xanti and Peru and the rest.

He shook these thoughts from his mind (he'd already decided, after all) and leaned down to kiss Esti one last time. She looked worried. "I'm sure things will be fine," he said, soothing her as he had when they were much younger, and pressed another kiss to her brow.

Then he turned to get dressed, and knew in the pit of his stomach that things would not be fine. And knew just as surely that from this day forward, as Esti's brother and lover, he would have to make them fine--for her.

It wasn't a horse. She wanted to tell him that, she'd spent far too much time with the horses to startle at one of their movements. That sound had been too far off to have come from the herd, and it hadn't been one of the usual settling gestures they made, the stamping and pawing, the light thud as they settled to their knees. And a bat -- but she said nothing, because Iñaki wanted to believe it had been nothing, and if she went back to camp she would be safe.

Back to camp. Esti flopped backwards into the grass, scrunching her eyebrows together as her head hit the unforgiving earth. Camp was the last place she wanted to go, especially now, and Esti felt a very childish fear creep over her at the thought of walking back alone. What if the noise had been an interloper, or an Ekaini?

Iñaki kissed her, bending over her body one last time, and Esti tried to draw in as much of his sweetness as she could. He smelled of horses and crushed grass over the heady scent that was Iña; she tried to memorize it, along with the way his muscles moved under his skin as he got dressed in the moonlight. She wanted to remember the bits of grass stuck in his hair, the pattern of the blades that had been imprinted into his forearms before it faded. Rolling over, she stretched as far as she could, snatching her tunic from the grass and pulling it over her head. It was clear that he was leaving, and Esti would be cold without him even if she decided to stay out with the horses.

"I don't want to go back to camp," she murmured, knowing he could hear her in the quiet. Her hands tugged the hem of her tunic down around her thighs, checking silently for any more blood -- there was none. Esti could've laughed out loud, for all her mother had told her when she'd come of age she'd half thought she would bleed to death the first time she lay with a man! "I came out here so late because of ama and aita. They're angry with me. I can just sleep here." If she lay just right, she could make it look like the whole patch of tumbled grass had been made by her, rolling in her sleep. But the doubt prickled at the back of her mind -- without Iña here with her, she'd be alone and vulnerable, and he couldn't stay with her. Camp would be safer, but she was afraid to go back alone. And more afraid that their unseen companion would reveal them to someone there.

"No." Iñaki sighed, rubbing his forehead, now in his trousers. He paused to pull his tunic on over his head before he spoke again. "I can say I was out riding and I came upon you... if we're both out all night they're sure to suspect something, but if I bring you in, and you're angry at me, who's to say we're complicit?"

He realized he was twisting the end of his belt a little uneasily, and let it go. Iñaki wasn't a good liar--not because his moral code prohibited lies, but very simply because he didn't have the gall to stand up and tell his father or Esti's mother something that wasn't true. Zeru could see into his soul--sometimes he believed that wholeheartedly. Oh, not when he was alone, or with friends, but sitting across from his father? Secrets didn't last.

This had to be different. This secret and all the lies it might spawn would last, for his sake and for Esti's. Iñaki didn't want to think about the future of their love right now. For now, there was only the present evasion. They could think of the future after the skirmish--who knew what might happen?

In a small, horrified corner of his heart, Iñaki realized he harbored some hope--hope? Monstrous!--but hope nonetheless... that Xanti might die.

He stood up, shivering as the darkness seemed to swallow him up, blanketing his skin in chill black pinpricks. "I think that works," he said, wiping the troubled expression from his face and holding out a hand to help Esti up. "Do you think you can stick by that?"

Could Esti stick by 'being angry at him' so soon?

She was fairly certain she could. Anyone in camp would believe, especially after the scene she'd made fleeing camp earlier that night, that she had simply left in a huff. And of course, if she was convincing enough, she could make them believe that Iñaki, her sensible older brother, had come across her in the fields and talked some 'sense' into her before hauling her back to camp like the spoilt child she was.

Yes. Every Zerui who had ever heard her name wouldn't think twice about that story. "I can stick by that," Esti said. She took hold of his hand, and a little tremble of rightness, of belonging, coursed through her. The girl scrabbled to her feet, looked up at Iña in the little remaining light, and realized she'd changed somehow. So suddenly! Esti felt more a woman than ever, with a little fire that still burned in her belly. She couldn't seem to look away from him, trying to place a name to the feeling, and as the dying light spread across them, enveloping the two in the night's cool shadow, it came to her.

Afterglow. This was Eguzki's gift of love-making, someday a gift of life-making --

The shock of the thought made Esti's head snap to attention suddenly, her eyes focusing and refocusing in the dark to try and frame him in her sight. But instead of blurting the inane fear out rashly, Esti held quiet, closing her open mouth slowly like a fish trying to breathe air. It wouldn't do to worry him. With everything that he'd told her, everything that had happened, it would be best to just keep this fear to herself.

Perhaps that was what love was about.