Silence landed around him as the day sprang to life, allowing the sun to caress it's surface, whispering songs that no one quite understood. He understood. Inside his head it was silent, something that rarely happened. She was silent, he was silent, and the world came to life. The sun's fingers reached out, touching the animals and waking them with a start. He could hear it; the world shifted from silence to the rush of life, to the wind shaking it awake as a child did their sleeping parent after a nightmare.

Twigs broke as deer walked, the trees shuddered free of their avian residences, their branches free of their weight. The wind gasped to life, tossing his long hair back out of his feminine face, kissing him good morning. Wild dogs could be heard barking in the distance, and the smoke from the tribe's many long houses started to spring forward.

He wanted to run! To explore. He wanted to be a part of this morning ritual that he observed when he found himself unable to sleep. Absently his fingers laced over the carved wooden necklaces, made after his spirits: ibai* and gar*.
He grinned into the crisp early morning air, accepting the feeling of the sun on his bare, dark shoulders and back, of his hair slipping around. The Earth was a place that Edorta truly respected, the place where both of him had come from.

'And it is beautiful.' She added in his head, causing a pause on the outside, his hand resting on the trunk of a tree as he spied on his tribe. A small laugh escaped him at the very tickling sensation of being alive. His people, by nature, were those that were closest to the planet. They cared for the Earth and lived in harmony with the most beautiful of creatures. Even his father, a strong, powerful man held the baby chicks that were rescued when their mother's were found no longer among the living.
He hadn't been aware of making his way toward the tribe until now, when his feet were stopped and he was pressed against the tree for support as he played vigil on his tribe.

Life was an odd thing. They moved from hating one another, the two tribes in their land, and now the people were frightened again. He knew that he should have felt their fear, but because of optimism, or something else, he knew that things would end up alright. He didn't believe that another war would start and the unease of his fellow tribesmen was completely uncalled for! But he couldn't be completely certain of this.
Although he was good with weapons, he doubted that he could really defend anything if it did come down to that situation. He didn't enjoy the prospect of fighting any more than the women, due, in part, to his more feminine spirit.

Shifting in the shade toward the gates of their tribe he ran his hand once more over the spirit carvings and the beads that decorated his clothing. The traditional women's garb. He was both genders, so he was allowed to assume both roles as he willed it to be. He could do what everyone could do, and yet he wasn't allowed to fight with the men or do to many chores with the women. Sometimes he felt as if he were useless, but he knew better than that.
"Good morning Ama, Aita!" he called to his mother, waving at the woman that was walking with his father. A smile of pride lit his own face at his parents. They loved one another dearly and their spirits were so in tune.

He wished for a love like that, but knew that it couldn't come easy. He was picky and he was also "holy" to them. He didn't get why, just that his two spirits were different genders. Rare, and cherished. Those were all that could describe him. Ducking inside of a long house he leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes to picture the dawn in his mind. Beautiful.

*River and Flame

Waking alone was not something that often happened for most married women of her people, who were up long before their husbands often thought of stirring from their furs, but in this case, it was because her husband had chosen his other wife for the night. Unlike Miren Nekane had no issues with jealousy when Ekain chose his first wife, she knew she would never be the wife to him Miren was, and that was fine, as she had a more important job to do. She had been up with the dawn anyway, so it really had not mattered much that she had been alone. The herbs she had gathered still wet with morning dew hung on the drying rack and she was working on the teas she had promised the women. Their men had toiled just to bring her home, and she would not stand by and risk them taking ill for her.

Honestly working with herbs was one of her favorite things; it had always brought a sense of peace to her, almost as much as hunting did. She had ground the few roots, and mixed in the leaves and the flowers. Dividing them up into individual packages and tying them with thread, she had spun and colored before she had left for the negotiations that had gone horribly wrong. She paused, her hands on the tie of the last bundle and shivered. The thought of it still drove her outside some nights to stand in the moonlight and feel the cool wind on her skin. She was not even sure if Ekain had noticed the few nights that she had slipped away from him, to just stand outside her door and take in the sound of the night.

The whisper of fresh air broke her out of her reverie, and she blinked at the incoming light. When her eyes had readjusted to the dark once again, she smiled at the dreamy person leaning against her wall. His was a face she had not seen in quite some time.

“Edorta” Nekane spoke softly to the boy, a soft lilt of laughter in her voice, “Just what are you mooning over today?” The two-spirited boy had always been one of her favorite people among the camp. He was seen to all as holy, blessed by Eguzki with both a male and female spirit, who seemed to get along more often then not, making him quite lucky. Nekane understood what kind of pressure being blessed or special could have on a person and so she tried to treat him as she would everyone else.

((OOC: I am sorry for the suckage.))

Edorta was thrilled of the night before, having met someone that had kissed his lips with such passionate kisses and adoration. He couldn't stand to hold it in and he was mooning without realizing he was doing so. His heart thudded quickly. Xanti and the lovely morning made everything all the more important and gave him a feeling of complete humanization, rather than that surreal life in which he lived by. He was, after all, still a man, even if his body was in harmony with its two spirits. He only half wondered how he would get to sleep that day, when his family might not have noticed him out all night. He didn't want to admit to being out all night because they knew that there were wild creatures in the wood, and they could hurt him, almost like the bear that had attacked yesterday.

Edorta ran a soft hand over his wounded shoulder, caused by his surprise at who Xanti was, and gave a contemplative look when he pulled his hand away with slight dirt and a little bit of trickling blood, caused because he had managed to pull open the wound from walking and flexing his back. He didn't want to do something painful, like telling the healer that she needed to care for him, so he allowed a few more blissful moments of his own minds chatting back and forth about how wonderful the night had been.

A familiar voice pulled the tired youth from their own vices and they gazed over to Nekane with their lips pulled into a joyous grin. Oh, what a night they had had! They couldn't wait to share! But... Xanti had said not to. It was a shame for a Zerui warrior to find solace with another male, to feel the touch and gentle touch of another male if that was what they wanted. They had to be strong for their women, which scared him. They did not want to imagine what it would be like to have to pretend to be someone that he wasn't just to please someone else. No, they were contented with being themselves and staying that way. No one challenged them, no one wanted to do so. So, when they was themselves, no one wondered what the body was doing because Edorta was who they were.

"Are we mooning?" they asked sweetly, glancing over at her with an unsure shrug. "We had the most amazing night... and we did not come back to the long houses! We stayed out under the moon." It had rained yesterday, so the two were strongly willing to get out of the wet clothes he wore sometime soon. "If you swear not to tell we will give you details!" It was not like the three, the male, the female, and Nekane, had secrets. She was a shaman, the top shaman, if if she wanted to know, she would know. There was no way around it.

The two-spirited youth couldn't keep the giddiness out of his voice as he spoke in a hurried voice, both of the depth of the male voice, and the gentleness of the female were twined to allow the shaman to know that they were in unison here, and that they were completely happy, excited, even. They hoped that their babble hadn't confused her. "Oh, Nekane!" he said sweetly, a smile on his face, "we think we're in love!" the body spread his arms open wide to accept the warmth from the sun.

[[OOC: He - Edorta's Male Spirit, She - Edorta's female spirit, They - both spirits getting along and thinking the same thing. The body is generally called he because of its male parts.]]

Oh yes, there was something going on with him, the boy’s eyes had never looked quite this dreamy before. The look in them tugged at her heart, and she wondered if there had ever been a time when she had worn that look. However, the sight of blood on his hand broke her reverie and she moved forward to stand in front of him. “Yes, you are mooning, and I would love to hear all of the details.” She said as she reached out and grasped his hand pulling him toward the light of the fire.

“First, I would like to take a look at your arm, holy or not, blessed or not you can still get ill Edorta.” Her voice was soft, and only held an edge of chiding. Her hands moved swiftly and cleaned off the cut on his arm, washing away the traces of dirt and blood, before she moved to search through her herbs. She dropped heated rocks into a cooking bowl and waited for the water to come up to temperature before she sprinkled in the herbs. It was a quick infusion so she did not leave them there for long. She soaked a scrap of soft leather in the mixture and applied the wash to his cut. “This may sting a little, and I’m sorry, but afterwards we will have some nice tea, I picked some elderflowers today, and they give it such a sweet flavor.”

She smiled as she turned back to the fire to prepare the tea. “So tell me the details of this love of yours, they must be something special to have caught your eye when so many have failed to do so.” She was quite curious now, and was nearly bursting to know which person had managed to snag Edorta’s attention. “And why did you spend all night out in the wild, were you with him? Or were you far too giddy to make it home?” She handed him the cup of tea she had for him and poked him lightly in jest. She enjoyed the time she spent with the boy, and thought with his blessings he would make a wonderful shaman should he choose to take up that path later in life. It was something she was going to have to remember to bring up to Aitor, who did most of the training of the young ones now.

"I didn't mean for my 'mooning,' as you call it, to be so obvious!" he cried, but even that did not keep the smile from his lovely face. If you had never seen a man thrilled until you had seen, at this moment, Edorta's smile of pleasure and memory. Oh, he'd had such a wonderful evening that he hadn't even dared to pay attention to her hand leading him to the warm fire, which he was grateful for, being so cold and wet as he was. The small Ekaini drew himself nearer to the flames, but far enough away to be safe.

"I am aware of how sick I am able to get." he mumbled, remembering last year and his terrible battle with a nasty cold during the early spring months. Everyone had been stumped, but Edorta was well aware of what he had done to make the cold appear. He had decided to swim in the cold air about him, ignoring all warning from Nekane. She was right and she knew it, which irked him slightly. To her warning he didn't flinch, but she did. The body jerked lightly, and the male voice made a chiding comment aloud to the female spirit within him. "You need to have better control of yourself. How is the body ever going to take orders with you jumping like a frightened rabbit?" Of course, she didn't answer aloud and the answer was known only to him.

"Oh, I have always so enjoyed your teas!" her voice called out, following the Shaman with those odd eyes. The body's fingers twined on his hands as the details spilled from her mouth. The shaman had promised not to tell, and it was two on one, she could not lie.
"Well... you know how well we like our freedom..." They began, watching her make the tea, "yesterday morning was no different. We wandered and we wandered until the river cut cut off, but something in our head, it wasn't us, mind you, told us to keep going, so we did. Along the time when the sun makes the shadows go away, we happened upon a small bear. A young baby bear that had no mother to be seen. So, of course, we stopped. That was when the mother bear got angry."

The cup was handed to the body and a small thanks was issued forth as he blew on the hot liquid inside the small, clay container. She poked the body, but the spirits were used to that, so he childishly stuck his tongue out at her. "A warrior came from no where and stood up to the mother bear." they continued, "She retreated with her cub before claw could touch us." He bit his lip. This was the part she would not believe. This part he hardly believed, but, in some childish way, he wanted to cling to.
"We asked our savior's name and he gave it. Oh, what a name it was!" They loved to see the suspense and feel the tension. "It was a name this whole tribe should know, for it is a dangerous, lovely name! It is Xanti sem'Zeru."

Before anything could be uttered he pushed on, "We had been very attracted to our savior from the beginning, but when he told us his name we jumped back, hitting a tree with our shoulder." the two-spirit motioned to his shoulder, but the grin was still there, "But Xanti was angered by our reaction and cursed, asking us to pretend he was not Xanti, and we were not Ekaini... and there has never been so much passion in a man before, Nekane! Xanti should have been with the Ekaini! He is kind, sweet, and very much so honest and brave!" he lay his head back, thinking about the visage of muscle and that draining, and yet filling kiss that had first taken his breath away.
"You may not speak of this." the two said grimly, gazing at her, "He is Zerui and can be strongly punished if word gets back to his sire, and..." Edorta ran a hand through his long hair, thinking. "and we would very much like to see Xanti again."

Of course, the two hadn't spent the whole night together, merely a few hours of curious hands and kisses, seeing where the others' limit lie.
"We walked a little with Xanti, it took us six hours to get by close, and the clouds covered the woods." he bit down on his lip again, chewing habitually. "Xanti found dry wood and made himself a touch to get back to his family. They would worry... I do not know if he has yet reached home."

But, she had also asked where he had spent the night...
"We slept in the woods. It was too dark to see by, and all the wood was wet so we could make no fire... so, Xanti helped us to make up a shelter and we kissed Xanti good bye and he was off back to the Zerui... we slept there and at first light we ran back as fast as we could. And I am here now, with you."

“I never knew my teas were so popular, but I did make a bunch for the warriors who worked so hard to bring me home. We don’t want any of you to get sick now do we?” It was really a rhetorical question, but she had to say it anyway. Healing was the part of her path that she had always loved, and taking care of her people, from the ones she barely knew, to the ones like Edorta who held a special place in her heart, was the driving force in her life. Very few people understood that about her, perhaps in truth only Ekain, and Aitor, and perhaps Edorta whose feminine spirit often gave him a different point of view then most of the Ekaini could muster.

She sat down to listen as he began to speak, allowing herself to settle in against the furs upon which she lounged. This was one of the things she had missed while in her captivity. Just the simple everyday camaraderie of being home. She tipped her head to the side, her long hair cascaded over her shoulder, and she brushed it back with a long practiced gesture. He had always been the wandering type, much like her when she was younger. She couldn’t even begin to describe the amount of scrapes Ekain, or Bikendi had pulled her out of when she had been out exploring, but a bear was fairly serious.

“Edorta, I understand the urge to roam around and explore, but you should have at least remembered to bring some kind of weapon with you… promise me you will remember to arm yourself in the future.” Her concern for him was evident in the scolding tone she used. There was a bit more maternal instinct in Nekane then one would have thought by looking at her.

As he continued her eyes widened and she leaned forward hanging on every word. Xanit sem’Zeru… the son of the Warlord Zeru and the leader of the Zerui. Oh, this could be very bad in so many ways… if the boy returned Edorta’s affections, and from his tale it seemed that he might. She knew what the Zerui thought of lovers of the same sex, and could only imagine how hard it must be dealing with your own nature when it went against everything you believed in. The poor boy must be so confused.

She sighed and bowed her head in thought. She had promised Edorta she would not tell, but eventually it would come to light if their meetings continued and then the uproar would begin. She herself did not recall the problems that had occurred when Bikendi’s mother had joined the then Eduri, but the tale was still told some nights around the fire. Love could conquer much, and she hoped for Edota’s sake that it would be the same with he and Xanti. “Do you think you will see him again?” she asked as she took a sip of her tea and savoring the complex yet sweet flavor of the herbs.

Edorta smiled at the girl with his impish face, his hands moving closer to the flames because he was so chill. He looked over at the female and then glanced toward his clothing. "Do you mind?" He questioned, stripping off the hide arm guards. "The body is all wet and we do not wish to suffer through sickness..."

The young male drew himself up and pulled one of the furs over himself, shyly, stripping himself of his clothes, and remaining in her furs. He knew that everyone about the tribe knew that he held no physical attraction to anyone within their reach and for all they knew he had never had a sexual interest in anyone as of yet, though, Xanti had set him ablaze in want. He wanted to just... ravage his body and collect him back into his embrace. He was everything that Edorta wanted.

"Are you kidding?" He asked playfully, grinning playfully at the woman that was a damn good friend to him, "your tea is the best tea in the tribe! Always sweeter than others." If someone had not tasted her teas they would have thought that Edo was in jest, but, in reality, he was being quite serious. Her teas were amazingly delicious. "We love your tea." he said sweetly, grinning playfully toward her. "Thank you for allowing us to be warmed by your furs and good will."

"You know we do not like the idea of using weapons..." he told her quietly, scratching his head softly. He glanced up at her with a smile, then shrugged. "I do not wish to make a promise in which I can not keep." He spoke quietly, a smile on his face,"we are one with Eguzki and will not attack any creature. If it is my time to die, then the gods will have their wish." His voice was grim and saddened, but honest. Edorta looked at the female, then his eyes dropped. His mother always worried, and he was fairly sure she would look at him with a critical eye when he went home. "Nekane, ahizpa, the girl said, flipping her hair softly, "If our parents come... will you say that we were here? They did not know we went out... and I would rather not have to lie to them... you know how they are about our wanderings... they think that we'll be in danger...

They were justified in that thought. Considering he had been attacked by a bear the night before. But then, he wouldn't have met someone that would make him feel so like a living, breathing male! And he felt adored in those hands, in those kisses...
,
"How I hope." The male said to her. "I hope so much to see him!" this was the female voice, but the male voice answered in a negative. "I think it was a one time...I do not wish to believe that I would never see him again... I know there was emotion there, and so much...I could feel his unsure feelings! I could feel his confusion and it tore at me, Arreba! It hurt him so badly! All I want is for him to be himself... and he can not because he is Zuri. It isn't right!"'

The male spirit grew silent and was taken up by the female. "You're being negative." "Face the facts! We are not see-" "Don't say things like that!" "I have the right to say the truth!"

It was rare the two fought, but when they did they could carry on for hours. "Stop talking and drink the tea!" the female voice said, lifting the cup to the body's lips the boy spirit did not protest, but the sadness could be seen in the dark pools of his eyes. They drank of the tea and settled down, both voices focussed into one again. "We apologize..." they said again, running a hand thorough their long, dark hair.

Nekane waved her hand at him as he asked her if she minded if he got out of his wet clothing, walked over to her packs along the side of the wall. She removed a loose tunic that should fit him and tossed the roll of soft leather at him striking him in the face with a grin. “Here, put this on, it will warm you, and you can bring it back to me later"

One of the advantaged of being tall for a woman was times like these. Her clothing was often leant out to someone or another in a time of need, and in return, the women made clothes for her, as she often did not have the time to make her own. So letting him take one of her work tunics was nothing new.


“I know how you feel, however your safety is far more important.” Nekane scolded him. “And besides, Eguzki does not want his people to be helpless. Even a the gentlest creatures will defend themselves in a life and death situation, if you truly wish to be one with the spirits and with Eguzki, then you should strive to be more like the creatures we revere. You do not have to hunt, no one will force you to kill another animal or being, but protecting yourself is something completely different.”


She smiled and moved her hair out of her face listening to his words as she worked, stirring the thickening grains. “Ahizpa, there is nothing you can do from where you are to help Xanti. Eguzki will guide him where he needs to be, even has he was guided to you in your time of need. Have faith Txiki*.


As Edorta began to argue with himself, she turned her back on him and picked up a cooking bowl full of water and cracked grains she had placed aside to soak earlier. She had yet to break her fast, and she was getting hungry. She placed the bowl over the fire and let it cook. It would not take long, but while it heated up, she gathered up the other ingredients she would use. It was a rare occurrence for his spirits to argue like this, but it did on occasion happen. When that happened the people around him usually just went on with their lives and ignored it, unless they had never met Edo before.

She checked the grains and threw in some strips of venison jerky, and some dried elder berries for a bit of body as a hint of sweetness and then gathered up the herbs she had on hand. A touch of sage, and a sprinkle of tarragon, and a hint of salt were all added to the mix and then the bowl was moved off to the side to set up. “More tea?” Nekane asked quietly as he quieted. “There will be food in a moment, would you like some? I have more then enough for two.”

Txiki* - Little One

The woman, in all of her grand kindness, gave to him a tunic. The article of clothing slapped into his face and shut him up pretty well, stopping all words. Not bashful in the slightest the youth stood and placed he furs down, changing into the soft leather woman's tunic, and admired it falling to his knees in all of its loose fitted glory. He enjoyed womens' clothes more than he enjoyed males'. They were so much more elaborate. They were lovely and soft, and it was the female inside of him that made him adorn such clothing. The male spirit was less dominate than the female one, which was why he usually acted more feminine than males.

"I do not wish for harm to come toward any being, not myself, and not to something else. Egsuzki smiles upon me. I have two spirits, and he has protected me with two spirits...I will not cause harm to anything, but if it will appease you I shall force her to carry a dagger in our belts." He was always more practical than she had been, and the male spirit was the protector of their shared body.

The frustration flashed over the body's face as the female regained control at the words of Xanti. "What if he is not meant to be with me?" whined the feminine voice. "Us?" the male corrected, and a soft feeling of electrical displeasure that shifted between the two. "I have faith..." she whimpered, resting the body's hand into the hand, a groan of sadness slipping through the lips as it hunched over in defeat.

"Food?" The male voice said, laughter quickly drowning out the woman's despair, but he was feeling it as well. He was more open to the pain really, expecting it, to be honest. Xanti was a leader, born to lead and he would do well to do as he was born to do. Maybe Eguzki was punishing them for not taking a mate as they were offered to him. So, at the moment, he felt selfish. "Am I selfish, Arreba?" The male voice asked quietly. "Maybe Xanti is the Gods' idea of punishment for not accepting mates as they've been settled before us..."

It made sense, at least to them both. Although she was not talking to him now, he could feel his female spirit churning over the thoughts herself. Sometimes he wondered what it would have been like if the two had actually gotten two seperate bodies. There would be hell in their small tribe, that was to be sure!
"Thank you for your kindness, Arreba. It is greatly appreciated. Yes, the body needs food."
The two had been out all day and they hadn't eaten while out. This, in the end, had gone unnoticed until the food was mentioned. He glanced up at the woman with a smile, tired as it was. He wondered how loud his father was going to get when he finally decided to amble in to their long house... and did not like the result he came up with.

Resting his head into his hands he muttered 'now she isn't speaking to me! She's angry...' he shrugged, and dove inward again to try to provoke her, but the female voice muttered, 'Leave me alone, arreba.' to her male spirit. The body seemed to sulk, but they simply glanced back to their shaman, and the male shrugged. "It is alright..." he said quietly, smirking softly, and still sadly.

Nekane snorted and shook her head with a small laugh. “Yes, food, you silly one.” She said reaching out to playfully smack him on the arm. Her eyes darkened as he continued to speak. “Egzuki would not punish you for not finding it within yourself to accept a mate your jainko did not feel at peace with. For most of us, it is not as important, but for you, it is. It does not make you selfish, it makes you nothing less then true to yourself. Your parents accepted this, and so should you. If Xanti is the one, then eventually there will be a way made for you. Remember Txiki, the spirits guide and help us, they do not give us more then we as beings can handle.”

She reached out, picked up two bowls, and began to dish out the grain mixture she had made. She uncovered the ogi that she had made earlier and set aside to stay warm. She handed him a round, tore off a piece, dipped it into the grain mixture, and began to eat. For several moments, they ate in companionable silence. She could feel the sadness within him, and wished she could alleviate it, but it was not something she could fix. His internal struggle was for him and him alone.

She set down her bowl with a sigh, and picked up her tea, even slightly cold the refreshing flavor cleansed her palate. She closed her eyes briefly as she tried to think of something she could do to make Edorta smile. Knowing how he felt about killing she did not think that offering to take him hunting with her would do the trick, but perhaps if what she was hunting was not an animal. A slow sly smile crossed her face, lightening her features and making her dark eyes sparkle. “

“Would you like to go with me when I travel to replenish some of the herbs I need? It will be a several day journey, normally I go alone, but since my captivity I have grown weary of being alone and I would enjoy having company. Besides, it would do you no harm to learn a bit about the herb lore we use.” She raised an eyebrow at him and waited for a reply. It seemed to her to be the best course of action. Edo’s destiny was just as inescapable as hers had been, and it was high time he accepted it.

Edorta gazed at the woman from his position where he was settled. near the fire. The things she did... she was so honest and kind to him that it really made him wonder just what he had done to make good friends. The male was trying to keep his more dominant female personality from becoming too sad to handle. He knew that she was upset, but he had to find a reason to be close to her... or something.

He graciously accepted the food, taking in what she had given in advice, and savoring the flavor of the warm grains he'd been given. It was welcome after such little food the day before. "Spirits guide to protect... but we have two." he said quietly, glancing at the woman with a smirk, "how can two ever hold one?" A spirit was suppose to love another spirit. They were suppose to be close. And yet... sometimes he wondered.

Edorta ran his tongue over his lips, getting some grain off the bottom from where he had eaten far too quickly. "Did my parents have a choice?" he questioned her, again, shooting back his question. There had been times when he had wondered himself if he were meant to be. He was always so very sad when it came down to simply living, but he usually had that optimistic outlook on life. Usually.The male spirit was more pessimistic when left without his kindred sister.

He allowed the silence to span between the two of them, as he finished up his food, setting the bowl down on the ground near his face, running his hair through his hands as he thought about her question. Did he want to go?
He had been told that he should be a shaman... once or twice before.
"I do not want to be a shaman, Nekane." he said quietly, rubbing his face.

"However, I will go with you if you want." He flashed her a smile and stood there, gazing toward her with a kindness that would have been unknown to any other shaman. Just because he had two spirits didn't make him special. He would not be a shaman. He was already looked toward enough! "I do not wish to give up my freedom to have people looking to me more. We're already stopped to be told of events in which we do not care, consulted in matters we have no idea, revered and petted when we do not wish to be..." he sighed, but shrugged, "but whatever Egzuki has planned... I can't fight it now, can I?"

"Spirits guide to protect... but we have two."

It was hard for her to her him say things like that. Nekane sighed and shook her head. “When you say such things, that I realize that you do not understand your own nature. You are special for having two spirits, that they are male and female is irrelevant. It is the fact that you have twice the protection then most people. You can change many things about life, but you are not only sacred to the tribe, you are sacred to Eguzki. I understand that the world of the spirits does not call to you, as it does to some, but you of all people can not turn your back on it. You are more in tune with yours then most people could ever dream of.”

This was something she desperately needed him to understand, and the one thing she was positive Edorta had never grasped about himself. Being as in tune with his spirits as he was, was what made him perfect to be a shaman. She wondered what it was about the path he was so against. She sighed again and looked down at the tea in her hands. There really was no time like the present to get this all out, she thought to herself. She raised her eyes and met his steadily.

“What is it about being a shaman that you object to? You won’t hunt, you are not a warrior, you shy away from the very idea of the world you were born to traverse…Edorta, I don’t understand. You can not just drift through life; everyone in the tribe must work together. It is how we live and survive. You are no exception… and yet you seem to try and do nothing but exist. What is it that you want? What do you dream of, if it is not the path that has been laid out for you?” All of them were questions she had been dying to ask for quite some time, and now she had. There was nothing more to do but to sit back and wait for an answer, whatever it may be.

He felt slightly guilty now. Now that Nekane had scoled him in all of his childishness. He had wanted to just simply exist and the tune he had with his spirits had only seemed natural. What was it that made him so special? He didn't want to be different! He wanted to be the same. An affirming sensation deep within him let him know that his feminine spirit felt the same, even if she was still sulking about her lost love. He licked his lips softly as he thought about what she had said.
[b]"I am what I am... and if I took up being a shaman... what do you think would happen? Just because I have harmony with myself... does not totally mean I have harmony with others. I am not like you. I could never do as good a job as you do and I do not wish to ever see myself as... lacking."

He sighed in a brief moment of sadness as she surged forward to take control, chiding him for not being more powerful against Nekane. He had told their secret!
"I do not know what I want." she said quietly, watching Nekane with her eyes on fire. "Existing seems to be the only thing I can do well, and..." she sighed, shrugging helplessly. "Why do you wish I were a shaman so badly?" She questioned. "I get that the gods find me precious, and people do as well, he shook his head lightly, his and her thoughts all winding together to torment the minds as hard as they could.

Finally, pushed over the edge, the voices muttered, face in the palms, "We're afraid... what if we aren't accepted if we do turn Shaman? There are people who have been training before us... and people that have been training longer than us... what if we aren't cut out for it and fail?"

Failure. Edorta feared it like there was nothing else to hide it from. They wanted to succeed, and so they stayed just existing. It was easier that way. That way their mother and father didn't look at them as if they were odd creatures and like they were failures.