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Title: MCT3K


Gamera - January 27, 2009 05:15 PM (GMT)
“In the not too distant future
somewhere in time and space
Kyle and his wrestling pals
are caught in a nasty place
They have to survive the wrath of Bill
An evil guy who wants to rule the world
From his castle below, he sets his sights above
Just to torture all the captives
on the Satellite of Love
(Get me down!)

Bill: I'll send them cheesy fanfics,
The worst I can find (la-la-la).
they'll have to sit and read them all,
And I'll monitor their minds (la-la-la).

Now keep in mind Kyle can't control
Where the fics begin or end (la-la-la)
He'll try to keep his sanity
With the help of his wrestling friends.

CWA Roll Call:

Jesse! (We’re rolling!)
Johnny! (How’d I get here?)
Raiden! (Me too?! T_T)
Maaaaaaaaaaax! (Keep…)

If you're wondering how they eat and breathe
and other science facts (la-la-la),
Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show,
I should really just relax..."
for Mystery CWA Theater 3000!"

*TWANG!* (… Up!)”

GCM - February 1, 2009 10:42 AM (GMT)
What is this I don't even

Cyarm - February 1, 2009 11:09 AM (GMT)
*masturbates furiously to topic*

Gamera - October 22, 2009 08:22 AM (GMT)
(... I had to continue this crap.)

"Johnny, GET DOWN!" cried Kyle as he dropped to the floor, dragging the
smaller man along with him. The loose pipe swinging down from offscreen above crashed into a console of buttons, a gray-black smoke billowing out. As the smoke passed, he slowly raised up to his feet, Johnny following suit as Kyle shouts up, "Hey, Max! Are you sure you know how to drive this thing? That's the third crash this week!"

"Well jeez, Kyle!" Yelled back Max Hunter as he walked onscreen, "I've only been acting like a mother and maid to you all! You leave your clothes on the floor- Max'll pick them up! Johnny misses the toilet seat, ol' Max'll get it clean again! Raiden sacrifices ANOTHER goat- Max makes sure all the blood goes away!"

The view starts to tilt a little, Kyle getting off-balance, "H-hey! That's not fair. You only tell the ship what to do and when to do it- and even then, the computer just pokes Jesse here and makes him set the camera on a tripod so that he can get the work done!"

The camera nods slowly- almost somberly. Kyle continues, "Can you get back to the bridge and steer this thing right? The fact that we shouldn't even be tilting in space is already creeping me out."

Grumbling, Max storms off-camera. "Ha! Pilot the ship? Oh, I'll pilot the ship. You just wait, and I'll pilot this ship better than you could ever dream of piloting it!"

"Well, at least this day can't get any wors-" Started Johnny as a light brightened on the console panel next to the one that was destroyed. He presses it without hesitation.

"Johnny! That could cut off our life support or someth-" Started Kyle until Bill showed up onscreen and cut him off.

"Life support? You should only be so lucky! I only have enough systems online to support eight people there!" Cackled Bill evilly as he crossed his arms and smirked at the hapless captives.

Raiden coming onscreen with a CapriSun in hand, Kyle begins counting, "Um... Bill? There are five of us here. That sounds like a wonderful system by what we have here."

"Oh? Well perhaps I should... Cut it in half!" Bill retorted as he reached offscreen to pull a lever.

On the ship, Kyle, Raiden, and Johnny begin choking a little as the camera shakes a bit. Raiden grunts out, "I should make someone here a goat."

"No! If you do that, Bill wins!" Shouted Kyle as he supported himself on the desk. "Nice try, Bill. What else you got?"

"Oh? What else? Well... How about this?" He holds his hand out to the side and Leon Armstrong comes into view to hand him a ream of paper. "This here is what we call a 'fanfic'- a delightfully evil way to truly test out your resolve through the most terrible method of torture. I'll be sending this written work to you and once you enter that theater, you'll see the text come alive onscreen! While you can read it as well as view it, it's not an option to just look at the pretty pictures. Press the button, Leon!"

A suction noise starts up as the papers fly up out of Bill's hands and into a oversized vacuum. The sirens on the Satellite of Love begin to blare as Kyle shouts, "WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!"

(Door Sequence)

6...5...4...3...2...1...

THEATRE:

<Kyle: Well, this isn't so bad. The place actually looks kind of neat.

<Johnny: Well, the computer sent Jesse in here too. Of course it does.

<Raiden: Ugh. A fanfic? T_T How exactly are we going to get tortured by this?

Shinra High

<Raiden: O_O No!

<Kyle: Wait, do they mean from Final Fantasy 7?

Chapter 1.)

<Raiden: There's more than one Chapter, too? T_T

Inquisitively the freshman before the double doors of the school cocked her head to one side, wondering what kind of a dump her parents had sent her to this time. The school itself was very nice, but...nevertheless, it wasn’t exactly where she wanted to spend the next four years of her life.

<Kyle, mocking the girl: Yeah, school sucks. Thanks for paying my tuition to make me a responsible member of society, Mom and Dad.

She wore a short, black leather skirt, a halter-top (As you can see, SHS doesn’t have a dress code)

<Raiden: Clearly, unless it's the "slut" dress code.

, and black leather boots that reached just above her knees. Her arms were adorned with elbow length gloves that she’d cut the fingers off of, and her fingers each had a dragonclaw ring. Her nails were painted a pretty, shiny black. Her long blonde hair was loose, framing a paper white face.

<Johnny: But scissors beat paper!

<Raiden: Funny, I feel like throwing a rock at her face.

She had put on black lipstick and black eye shadow, and that made her pale complexion look paler. Around her neck and wrists were spiked bracelets and a necklace, respectively. Her given name was Julia, but her friends called her Megami.

<Kyle: Because an inexplicably Japanese name was just so much more 'kawaii'!

<Raiden: You're one to talk...

<Johnny: Um... But isn't your name also...?

With an air of complete boredom she kicked open the double doors and strode into the main hall, heading for the commons area of the school. There were still 30 minutes before first bell, and she sure as hell wasn’t going to sit in a smelly classroom for that long and miss the excitement. She laughed in her throat. This school was notorious for rowdiness. She’d fit in here.

<Johnny: There's a new sheriff in town here, boys!

<Raiden: Ladies and Gentlemen, Lady Mare E. Sue.

The commons room was huge, and, unlike her old middle school, everyone was conversing with everyone, instead of the predetermined middle school cliques that tended to form. Resolutely she began to mingle, wondering if anything interesting would happen.

<Kyle: Because being the new kid, she felt absolutely no pressure from the first day of meeting new people. How soon do you think they'll bond to her guys? First page?

<Johnny: First paragraph?

<Raiden: First sentence?

She’d gotten bored too soon. Just as soon as the thought of boredom crossed her mind, there was a crash, followed shortly by obnoxious laughter and a satanic scream of “Reno!” And a redhead, short for his age came darting right in front of her and stopped. He was grinning, and Julia could guess he’d been responsible for the crash, whatever it was.

<Raiden: The only thing obnoxious and satanic here is this fic. T__T

Julia frowned at him. He seemed like a pretty worthless punk, having sloppy, unkempt red hair and a tee shirt that was not tucked in, with overly baggy, poorly fitting jeans. The crowd parted again to allow the shortest man she’d ever laid eyes on through. He looked furious.

The boy named Reno grinned. “Hiya, sir!” In a singsong voice he chanted, “I’m baaaaaacckkkkk....”

Professor Hojo Okokou glared death at Reno. “Dammit...why didn’t you drop out like you said you were going to??”

<Kyle: Hojo Okokou? Doesn't he spend his time better chasing the Powerpuff Girls?

<Johnny: *Snickers*

Reno pretended to look hurt. “Why, sir! I came back to see you! I even put in a special request to be in your class...again...for the second year, since I enjoyed our first year so much!!”

Hojo once again glared murderously at the out of line student. “You realize, of course, that you just...disabled...the main stairway, right?”

“That was my goal, sir.”

<Raiden: See, that's the problem with kids today- not enough wanton destruction. He could have destroyed three or four stairwells along with that! So disappointing...

“...Of course...You stupid, destructive, pathetic excuse for a student! Do you realize how much you’ll have successfully backed up hall traffic?”

“Yup. You’ll get you’re annual first-day-of-school trampling!”

Hojo turned and whirled away from Reno. He began to walk away, only to be stopped by Julia. “Excuse me??” She asked, “Are you Professor Hojo?”

“Yes.”

“Oh. I’m in your homeroom. I’m Julia, nice to meet you.”

“Hmph.” He stormed off.

<Kyle, as Julia: That bitch! Gimme your Steal Materia- I'mma Mug his ass!

“Yup” Julia muttered, mostly to herself. Hojo would be fun to torture. She’d show him what a real scientist was...she began to smile, only to have her thoughts interrupted by a new voice.

<Johnny: No...

It was low, mellow, pretty sounding.

<Raiden: No...

“I see you’ve already met my father.” The voice had disdain for the Professor. “Don’t mind him.”

<Kyle: No, no, no...

Julia whirled around to come face to face with the most gorgeous guy...

<Kyle: Rude?

“Um, yeah. He seems...pleasant.”

The upperclassman laughed. “He’s just about as pleasant as Scarlet with PMS...only he’s like that all the time.”

Julia laughed.

<Johnny: Ha ha ha ha... Female bodily functions sure are funny!

She’d heard tales of Scarlet, and, judging by this man’s obvious opinion of her, it was true. “Apparently. I’m Julia, by the way. Who are you?”

<Raiden: Yes. One pretty boy's opinion is what matters in this world. Your insight is astounding.

<Kyle: Isn't that what your promos are based off of?

<Raiden: I'm more than just pretty! T_T

“Sephiroth. My friends call me Seph. You’ve got homeroom with the old fart?”

<Raiden: Seph? ... Seph?!

<Kyle, as Sephiroth: The Janitors call me "douche" and the Chihuahua down the street calls me Rodriguez.

“Yeah.”

“I feel sorry for you. He’s always in a bitchy mood in the mornings. I don’t have him until fourth.”

“Really? I have him fourth too!”

<Johnny: The dialogue in this is amazing!

<Kyle: I really hope that's sarcasm.

<Johnny: Why wouldn't it be? <_<

“Hmm. You must be in the advanced classes then. Normally freshmen aren’t taught chemistry.”

“I see ... I’m not really surprised. My middle school teachers hated me. They shipped me all over the school in search of a teacher that could effectively teach me. When I graduated 8th, they recommended my parents to send me here, to study with Professor Hojo.”

<Kyle, as Julia: Just a troubled, genius, world-weary teenage girl that fell head-over-heels for a guy she just met because he's pretty. That's me, tee hee!

“Sounds like my life. And, lucky us, chances are such that we’ll have Reno Vega in our class too. That is, of course, if he was telling the truth about requesting to be in Hojo’s class. He’s been held back several years running.”

“Wonderful. The professor doesn’t seem too fond of him.”

“He’s not. He hates Reno. Reno is the school’s biggest prankster. He’s an obnoxious pain in the ass. He’s killed almost a dozen people...at last count...but no one charges him with it because: A: They’re “harmless” pranks, and B: The principle wants him for the Turks...if he graduates before he’s a senior citizen.”

<Johnny: Wait, The Turks? The group devoted to killing people wants someone who does 'harmless pranks'?

Julia grinned. “From what I’ve seen that’s unlikely.”

“Highly unlikely.” Sephiroth laughed. “Hojo doesn’t even bother with tests for Reno. He hands Reno a specially designed test, pre-equipped with its own big, red zero and tells him to put his name on it.”

<Raiden: He gives all of his small, thin zeroes to Seph so that he can keep his girlish figure.

“...Um, that’s really...pathetic. Is he that bad a student?”

“Yes.”

“Oh. My parents would kill me. Literally.”

“Literally?”

<Raiden: And so would I... So would I.

“Yeah...” She looked at the ground, toying with her spiked collar. “My dad likes to throw things at me...when he’s mad...sometimes for no reason...It’s not a big deal usually.”

<Kyle: Woah, woah, woah- a spiked collar? Where the hell was that in her original clothing description? Now the image is complete!

<Raiden: *Shrugs.* I always assumed it was there. Dogs have collars afterall.

Sephiroth frowned, “Julia, that is a big deal. Haven’t you told anyone aside from me?”

“No” She shook her head. “I feel like I can trust you...if my father found out I’d told you...he’d punish me...I can’t say anything.”

<Johnny: I trust you so much after meeting you less than five minutes ago- doesn't that strike any of you as odd?

<Kyle: Nah, I told my mailman my Social Security Number after he delivered my first letter.

“That has to be illegal. You should talk to the police.”

“That wouldn’t do much good. My dad is a high-ranking employee at Shinra Inc. He’s good friends with the President. He wouldn’t even be charged.”

<Raiden: I'm sure that beating her would count as a national duty that one can take pride in.

“Hmph. That’s true, unfortunately.” Sephiroth shook his head. “Try to stand up to him. That’s really your only option.” He took her hand and examined the dragonclaw rings. “That’s what you have these for. Use them.”

Julia looked shocked. “Hit my father?? I’d love to...but...I wouldn’t stand a chance against a gun.”

<Kyle, laughing uproariously: Nevermind the fact that in that game you can take bullets to the face- oh no. Forget summons or lightning shot at you from point-blank range five times in a row. Guns. That'll kill ya.

<Johnny: What if it's all one big cutscene?

<Raiden: Then we pop open the playstation and break the disk! T_T

“He’d dare to pull a gun on you?”

”Yes. If I ever attacked him.”

Sephiroth’s frown increased. “Are you in the 11th grade gym class
too?”

“Hai. They decided not to waste their time with the basics. But...I’m
in two gym classes. Do you know what that’s about?” She extended her schedule to him.

<Kyle: Using her amazing 'extendo-schedule'! Twice the stretch, half the fuss!

Sephiroth examined Julia’s schedule carefully. “Yes.” He said after a pause. “You are in the basic 11th grade gym course and the SOLDIER training course.” He raised his eyebrows. “You must have been in a previous fighting course?”

<Johnny: Reading that like a question is weird...

<Raiden: It's fine if you think of them being retarded southerners.

“...um...No. I haven’t. Unless you count basic combat, but that I taught myself.”

“That’s odd. Normally only people who have been in fighting courses straight out of the womb on are aloud into these courses. Did you test into it?”

<Raiden: She's afraid of bullets! Obviously NOT!

“Yes. When I offered my application the Administrators asked what courses I wanted to be in. I told them I like to try out for everything and I’d go with the best. My academic tests said that I could be in 12th, but I decided to take the 11th grade courses to accumulate credits for college. To get into the second gym course they had me spar with some HUGE 12th grader.”

“You didn’t get to badly hurt?”

<Kyle, as Julia: Well, I DIED...

“Are you kidding? He was a pushover.”

<Johnny: She pushed him onto a desk. She pushed him onto a bed...

<Raiden: Ah, the Mary Sue's favorite past-time.

Sephiroth smiled. I see we have both gym periods together...science...history... French...and band. Damn. We have the same teachers for calculus and Japanese, but our periods are switched. I have Japanese first, and you have calculus first.”

“I’m glad we have so many classes together!”

<Kyle, as Julia: But it SUCKS that we don't have those two classes together! I hate my life and my parents, but I trust you enough to change your schedule.

<Raiden, as Sephiroth: Only after we start making babies.

<Kyle: I bet we just uncovered the plot here, gentlemen.

<Johnny: Good show. Good show.

Sephiroth laughed, a rarity.

<Raiden: So much so that he did it earlier in the fic over a PMS comment.

“So am I.” The bell rang, piercing through the first-day chatter. “Well, I’d better get going. See you in third?”

“Yes!” Julia responded, turning herself to head up two flights of stairs to her calculus class, realizing too late the flaw in her path, as through a group of students she saw the gaping hole in the stairwell.

“Good grief.” She looked at a girl standing next to her. “What in the hell happened?”

<Johnny: Does anyone else notice that if she listened to her teacher, she would have known EXACTLY what happened?

“I haven’t the faintest idea. I’m just a freshman.”

“So am I. I’m also pissed. I can’t afford to be late.” She began shoving her way toward the hole, pushing aside everyone, and praying she’d have time to get up the next staircase and to her classroom with out further interruption. She reached the hole, and realized the size of the gap. Five or six feet of staircase gone. A frown marred Julia’s face for a moment. “Goddammit, I don’t have time for this.” Making sure her book bag was securely on her back she bent her knees, placing her right foot out behind her...and leapt, landing cleanly on the other side.

<Kyle: Mary Sue Woman, away!

<Raiden: Far... FAR away. PLEASE...

She straightened up, brushing her hair back over her shoulder, and, ignoring the gasps and cries of “what are you doing” she began to run, aware she only had two minutes to get to her class room.

<Johnny: So her clock was ticking?

<Kyle: At least wait until Seph comes back for third!

Julia sank into her seat about .12 seconds before the bell rang. With a long sigh, she pulled out a notebook and pencil, awaiting the arrival of the professor scheduled to try to teach her something.

<Kyle, mockingly: Or whatever. Class is stupid. I'm too cool for it, but want to be on time within almost a tenth of a second.

<Raiden: Hopefully, she accidentally stumbled into Suicide 101. Good news about that- it's an elective half of that school could make good use out of.

The screen shuts off as they're given the signal to return from the theater. As soon as their back in, Johnny comes in from offscreen, stretching a long sheet of paper, exclaiming, "So I looked online and there it was- extendo-paper! Just like in the fic!"

"Huh... So it really exists?" Asked Kyle, looking it over with a little skepticism.

Raiden sighs and says, "It'd be more cool if we could send things into the fic. Like a canon character that ISN'T out of character."

The light blinks on the console, Bill popping up onscreen after Johnny presses the button. The CWA Owner cackles evilly as he responds, "Well, then, let's see how broken you all are. Huh? No crying? No... No shaking?"

Raiden, Johnny, and Kyle are seen taking turns on the phone. Kyle passes the phone to Raiden and explains to Bill, "We thought about it and felt like we should tell our old teachers to just suck it! Because school... Well, it sucked. The one we paid for sucked even more- it wasn't free AND it sucked!"

"Hrm... You all seem to have a better resolve than I figured... I'll have to fix that." Said Bill before he bursts into evil laughter, picking up a new ream of paper with a sadistic grin and tells them. "This fic has at least 20 chapters... We'll see how long you survive!"

All of a sudden, the three men's attitude plummeted down to show their dread. But as the screen faded to black, they seem relieved that it wasn't a back-to-back torture.

Hardcore Sniper - October 22, 2009 01:34 PM (GMT)
What the fuck.

GCM - October 22, 2009 06:49 PM (GMT)
QUOTE (Hardcore Sniper @ Oct 22 2009, 06:34 AM)
What the fuck.


Da Notorious B.V.D. - October 22, 2009 06:58 PM (GMT)
*Subscribes*

Ghost Rider - October 22, 2009 07:23 PM (GMT)
<_<

Gamera - October 22, 2009 07:29 PM (GMT)
QUOTE (Ghost Rider @ Oct 22 2009, 02:23 PM)
<_<

>_>

I'm going to do the next chapter, I think. At least.

Johnny Violence - October 22, 2009 09:18 PM (GMT)
does not compute.

storm - October 22, 2009 11:08 PM (GMT)
QUOTE
Max storms off-camera.



best part.

JIMSZ - October 22, 2009 11:38 PM (GMT)
Why Jesse has no lines? RACISM!

Johnny Violence - October 23, 2009 12:16 AM (GMT)
sit yo black ass down. you have no rights here.

JIMSZ - October 23, 2009 12:17 AM (GMT)
QUOTE (Johnny Violence @ Oct 23 2009, 12:16 AM)
sit yo black ass down. you have no rights here.

Yes master :(

Da Notorious B.V.D. - October 23, 2009 01:13 AM (GMT)
Am I the only one who absolutely loved this brainchild of Gamey? >_>

storm - October 23, 2009 01:28 AM (GMT)
QUOTE (Da Notorious B.V.D. @ Oct 23 2009, 01:13 AM)
Am I the only one who absolutely loved this brainchild of Gamey? >_>

I don't know why, but I feel sad that he did this all. <_<


...for us.


...by me.

Gamera - October 23, 2009 06:32 AM (GMT)
The scene faded back in with the relieved look on the three wrestler's faces. Jesse from behind the camera said, "Hey, guys? We're on again!"

The momentary peace shattered by the black cameraman who finally got a line, they could only look in horror as Bill showed up onscreen with an evil look in his eye. He pulled the level offscreen, another ream of papers getting sucked up into the giant vacuum.. The sirens on the Satellite of Love begin to blare as Kyle shouts, "WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN... AGAIN!"

(Door Sequence)

6...5...4...3...2...1...

THEATRE:

<Kyle: How much of this will we have to endure?!

<Raiden: At least it's a Final Fantasy 7 fic. Y'know, something that doesn't matter.

<Johnny: I'd try sleeping through this, but I'm afraid it's going to invade my dreams.

Pranksters and Preps

<Kyle: Preps? Oh god, it's time to go 'My Immortal' up in this!

<Johnny: My what now?

<Raiden: Please, God no!

Chapter 2.)

One minute passed, then the next. Behind Julia, someone had begun to snore. “...sounds like a cement mixer...” She thought, turning to see the fool who was already asleep.

<Raiden: Besides being an astute observer how one minute passes the next, she can also think in quotes of which imply speech.

<Johnny: My mind is blown. <_<

The “fool” was a boy, obviously older then she...perhaps in 10th. He had unruly blond hair that stuck up it great spikes, giving Julia the impression of a chocobo. His eyes were closed, and he had tanned skin, through which toned muscles could be defined. He was also drooling on his desk.

<Kyle: Well, at least SOMEONE has the brains to find the desk more attractive than the Mary Sue.

<Raiden: Ten to one she hates him because it was his goal to be Sephiroth.

<Johnny: Five to on she wants him to have gay sex with Sephiroth.

<Kyle and Raiden: Hmm... *Nod their heads in unison.*

Disgusted, Julia reached into her purse and withdrew a rubber band and a small piece of gravel. Grinning at the people giving her thumbs up signs and grinning at her, she loaded the fragment of rock into the rubber band and fired it, hard. It flew, true to its aim, and resultantly smacked the sleeping sports jock (at least, that was her impression) right between the eyes.

<Kyle, as a random student: Yeah! Potentially shoot his eye out! Make him bleed because jocks SUCK!

<Raiden: You know she won't even get in trouble for this.

With a yell, the blond woke up, cursing a blue streak and clutching his nose. The entire class was roaring with laughter. Not a good way to start the school year. “ Who is the God damned idiot that had the nerve to...” He trailed off as a tall man entered the room.

<Raiden: Surprise! It's another out of character canon character!

<Johnny: Where's the surprise in that? <_<

Julia, by this time, was facing forward in her desk, located, much to her disliking, in the front of the room.

<Kyle, as Julia: The front of the room SUCKS! Preps sit in the front of the room!

As the tall man entered the room, she prayed that he was the professor, and that he was going to start the class before she was an old woman.

Professor Vincent Valentine, wearing a pristine navy suit with a crisp white blouse underneath it, and a tie, which perfectly matched the navy of his jacket.

<Raiden: Wow. I'm actually rather surprised that she isn't related to him.

<Kyle: I kind of expected him to be her father, what with the gun comment and all.

“Good morning class. Welcome back to Shinra High.” He was greeted with stony silence. Someone at the back of the room threw an eraser cap at him. “Okay...anyway. I just put you in these seats to take attendance. Then you may choose your own seating arrangement. Understood?” More silence.

<Johnny: I know this might be bad, but I hope Vincent gets a lot more parts in this fic.

<Raiden: Why? -_-

<Johnny: Well, with all the silence, it's bound to make it shorter.

Roll call went by quickly, and Julia stood, striding to the back of the room, in the far corner of the room, where she sat down.

<Raiden: Yes, because it's cool not to be able to read the board.

<Johnny: She probably has some Mary Sue Super Eagle sight.

And waited. And waited, while people chattered and argued about seating. Finally Professor Valentine took control.

<Kyle: ... And killed Julia, freeing all of the canon characters from this fangirl nightmare.

“Sit down at once!!” And then, in a much more quiet and mild mannered tone he added, “I’d like to start class now.”

Julia stifled a laugh and took picked up her pencil, ready to take notes.

The rest of the class passed quickly, with Professor Valentine giving his back-to-school lecture and beginning the first chapter in their textbook, which weighed approximately ten pounds. Julia added that to her book bag and flew down one flight of stairs to English.

<Johnny: Hey guys? I don't remember a flying magic in the game...

<Kyle: She's probably just using The Highwind for a hoverboard a la Back to The Future.

<Raiden: Wouldn't surprise me. T_T

Professor Scarlet Manachon was waiting for the class when Julia entered the room. The scantily clad professor was standing behind her desk, which was piled high with thick Literature textbooks.

<Kyle: She likes to read AND she's a skank? Hey guys, you think that this should be our new main character?

<Johnny: Well, it is the lesser of two evils.

<Raiden: For the greater good...

Scarlet was frowning and popping aspirin like M&Ms, while staring at the door as though expecting Satan to walk in at any particular given moment.

The bell rang, and Professor Manachon slammed her pointer into the chalkboard. “Seating doesn’t matter. Just seat yourselves.” The loud chatter continued. “Sit down right now!”

Julia rolled her eyes. She already didn’t like this professor.

<Johnny: Her skankiness was almost as bad as Julia's, making her top competition.

She seemed obnoxious, she was dressed like a hooker, and she had the whiniest voice Julia had ever heard. For a professor, this Scarlet Manachon seemed more like a student fresh out of high school herself. She hadn’t the faintest idea what in the hell she was doing. The freshman in the back row could tell that it was going to be one hell of a year in Japanese. She wasn’t looking forward to it.

<Kyle: So if a student fresh out of high school didn't know what she was doing, then wouldn't that high school... I dunno... Suck?

<Johnny: She's probably just confused- she's still IN high school afterall.

<Raiden: That gets the same education budget as an American one, apparently.

Ten minutes passed, and the door of the classroom slammed open with a resounding “crash!” And none other then Reno Tarshil Vega came swaggering into the room, a broad grin, or perhaps more of a smirk, plastered across his tanned and vaguely scarred features.

Scarlet, looking up from her deadpan first day of school lectures stated the obvious. “.........Vega, you’re late.”

<Kyle, as Scarlet: And for your punishment, fight M. Bison!

<Raiden: The boxer?

<Johnny: What? <_<

<Kyle: Nevermind.

“Duh.” He strolled leisurely to an open seat in the back of the room, next to Julia. “You think I didn’t notice?” And under his breath, as an after thought he muttered, “Dumb broad.”

Julia sighed, annoyed with the interruption. She looked up from her carefully taken, notes and gave Reno a searing glare. Quietly she hissed at him, “Sit your tardy ass down and shut up. Some of us would like to pass.”

<Johnny: So she was annoyed that he interrupted a teacher she hated? I'm trying to wrap my mind around what kind of relationship she's supposed to have with her.

The redhead looked over at her. “Hey! I remember you! You’re the girl from this morning!”

“Shove it, creep.” Reno had been staring at her breasts, and she didn’t appreciate it. “And if you don’t keep your eyes to yourself, which I advise you do, they will be removed.” She flexed her fingers to emphasize her point.

“Yeesh. Don’t play the saint!”

“Fuck off.”

<Kyle: Well, at least she took his advice.

Scarlet continued her lecture, after writing Reno his second of many referrals to come, and Julia returned to her notes, ignoring Reno as he threw paper, notebooks, pencils, and whatever else came to hand around the room.

<Raiden: ... Until he finally threw Julia. Out the window. Into a pit of fire. Where lava sharks rend her to pieces.

<Johnny: Lava sharks, huh? <_<

<Raiden: Yep.

After only 17 or so minutes with Reno, she was gritting her teeth, desperately trying to pay attention to Scarlet’s lecture and take good notes, while attempting to ignore Reno, who was clicking his pen top up and down up and down, while singing some obnoxious song.

<Johnny, singing: I get knocked down, but I get up again- You're never going to keep me down!

<Raiden, singing: Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me? Don't cha, don't cha?

<Kyle, singing: Nazonazo mitai ni chikyuugi wo tokiakashi-

<Raiden: No, weeaboo.

With five minutes to go in the period, one of the girls in the front of the class whipped around to face Reno. “Knock it the Hell off!!” The girl had frizzy brown hair, a tanned complexion, and an expression of the utmost fury and frustration upon her face. The pencil she had been holding was now in several pieces on her desk and floor.

Then Professor Manachon began to freak out from lack of attention. “Pauline! Please face forward and take notes! You all will have a quiz on this in two days!! And if I don’t start to get some respect really damn soon, you are all going to regret the day they placed you in my class!”

<Kyle: Pauline? Was there ever a Pauline in the game?

<Johnny: I think she was the girl that almost drowned. The one you had to preform CPR on?

<Raiden: We're going to need CPR if this goes on any longer. T_T

Once again Julia sighed. “...Two minutes...just two minutes...that’s all...one and a half minutes...just one and a half minutes...” Time seemed to have stopped. Not that she wasn’t enjoying the class...but Reno was driving her mad.

After a miniature eternity the bell to next class rang. And, in the halls, Reno’s reputation became known to all the freshman and transfer students in the building. A loud shriek resounded off the halls. The crowd parted, and scattered, not wishing to get involved, and acting like it was nothing new.

<Raiden: Sephiroth finally wised up and reenacted his scene of killing Aerith on Julia?

<Kyle: Wishful thinking, huh?

As the crowd parted, Julia could see Reno laughing his head off, and a girl with a long brown plait, tied back with a pink ribbon, was in tears, her pink cheerleaders outfit now covered in blue ink, and upon her face, also splattered with ink, the remains of a red water balloon. Julia snickered. Even though she couldn’t say she liked Reno, she hated preps with a passion. Seeing them trashed, and sometimes doing the trashing, was a pastime of hers.

<Kyle, as Julia: Yeah, take that! Wearing your cheerleading outfit when it isn't even spirit day should be a crime!

Smiling she brushed past the cheerleader and muttered, “Aww, that’s just too bad.” And she burst out in melodious laughter, heading eagerly for third, all the while trying not to seem too conspicuous to the swarming teachers, attempting to determine from the hysterical cheerleader, Aerith, as her name was, what had taken place. They were failing miserably.

<Raiden: As is this fic. She just proved that she was a major bitch that labeled people by how they look. How is SHE the heroine?

She was greeted by yet another shock as she walked through the door of her World History class. Standing in the center of the room, talking to Sephiroth... ”Tseng!!” She cried joyously, charging at her foster-brother.

<Johnny: Foster... Brother?

<Kyle: Oh wow. We knew it was coming. The canon relative.

<All, in unison: *Sigh.*

Professor Tseng Nakahamou looked at the doorway, startled, just in time to be bowled over by his younger sister. “Julia! Down girl! Easy!” He struggled to stand up. “It’s good to see you too.”

Sephiroth ached an eyebrow, observing the fascinating spectacle, and feeling relieved for both of them that he was the only other one in the classroom at that time.

<Kyle: He's a psycho that wants to destroy the world for an evil alien lady! Why should he care if she 'looks weird'?

<Raiden: Maybe she forgot that it's 'too preppy' to tacklehug your brother? Set her straight, Seph.

“Uhm...Would someone please explain what is going on here?” He was quite confused, at Julia’s behavior (He’d thought she was quiet and reserved)

<Kyle: And annoying...

<Johnny: And stupid...

<Raiden: And a skank...

<All, in unison: And a bitch!

and at the behavior of Professor Nakahamou.

Julia reluctantly let Tseng go. “Oh. Sorry. Tseng was my brother in my foster family. He took care of my when I was little...I haven’t been allowed to visit him since my Goddamn family took me back.”

<Kyle, as Julia: Stupid Mom and Dad paying my way into this school so that I can actually meet back up with you again! I wish they would die right now!

Tseng grinned. “Well, there’s not much they can do now.”

Sephiroth nodded in understanding. “I see. Well, I’m happy for the both of you, in any case.”

Other students were beginning to traipse in through the door. “I guess I’d better get class started.” Tseng muttered reluctantly. “Good to see you again Julia.” Tseng thought for a moment. “Who do you have next?”

Julia grinned broadly. “The infamous Professor Hojo.”

<Kyle, as Mojo Jojo: Curses!

“Lovely. Well, that rules out you staying after class. Come visit me on lunch break. I have many questions for you.” He stared pointedly at her attire, arching an eyebrow and frowning in disapproval.

His sister sighed. “My biological father drove me gothic. Though, don’t worry about it too much Tseng. I’ve already made great friends this way.”

<Raiden: Lies. You 'made great friends' by the author forcing them your way.

<Johnny: He drove her gothic? What did he take her to a Hot Topic or something?

<Kyle: Well, that IS the type of Gothic I imagine her being... Y'know, the fake kind.

Tseng shook his head, realizing, and remembering, how stubborn Julia could be when given to be so. Changing her would be impossible. “No matter.” He muttered, and started the class, somehow getting everyone under control long enough to pass out the World History text books and take roll, and give the first-day lecture (which the students were getting sick of) and start the first lesson, with fairly little interruption. Much to his surprise, the students he’d thought would be disruptive were very quiet and attentive. Amazing. The Goths in his past classes were impossible. This year, in third period at least, the Goths were manageable and cooperative.

<Kyle: No more were The Goths invading Rome despite his obvious disapproval.

<Raiden: No doubt because of Julia's presence.

The bell rang and Julia left, smiling and talking, next to Sephiroth. Tseng smiled, relieved to see his baby sister doing well, though from her comments about her biological parents, her home life must suck.

<Kyle, as Julia: It TOTALLY sucked!

“What happened to the colorful little girl I knew...?” He murmured, mostly to himself as the classroom emptied.

<Johnny: She was put in the wash with a bleach that wasn't color-safe.

Julia trotted down the hall next to Sephiroth.

<All: Click-clack, Click-clack, Click-clack...

“So, Tseng is your foster-brother?”

“Yeah.” She grinned. “We were inseparable when I was little. For God’s sake, he changed my diapers!

<Johnny: And I bet he still would!

He was a really great brother. He always had time for me. When I was little he took me to the park, and when I got old enough to appreciate it, he took me to the movies” She broke off, sighing. “I haven’t really been happy since my biological family took me...hell, they practically kidnapped me. I refuse to use their last name. I kept my foster family’s name.”

<Raiden: Conveniently giving her a chance to stall until she can either use another canon character's last name or try to come up with her own.

<Johnny: And by 'come up with her own', you mean 'use another canon character's last name'.

<Raiden: Of course...

“Hmm...”Sephiroth was obviously thinking,

<Johnny: Mostly about frosted mini-donuts.

absorbing the new information he’d received as they headed down a flight of stairs to the 2nd floor, where he was jerked out of his reverie by muffled screaming and cursing.

“What is that about?” Julia asked, looking up at Sephiroth for an answer.

“Hojo. Getting trampled to death by every student, teacher, and faculty member currently on the Shinra High roster.”

<Kyle, as Sephiroth: You're next, Julia.

<Raiden: End of fic? <3

<Johnny: Not if there's twenty chapters...

<Kyle and Raiden: *Sighs.* Dammit.

The screen shuts off as they're given the signal to return from the theater. As soon as their back in, Johnny is seen staring to somewhere offscreen. Red light and a fire sound effect suddenly burst out as Raiden walked up next to him and said, "Looking at the door like Satan was going to come through, huh?"

"Yep." Replied Johnny, "I was disappointed that nothing happened there, so I tried it and look- the fires of Hell!"

"Can I try it?" Asked Raiden, getting the motion to go ahead by Johnny. With a nod, he stared the same mocking way and sure enough red light and a fire sound effect suddenly bursts out accompanied by organ music.

"Huh... I don't remember the organ." Said Johnny, rubbing his chin.

"Hey, guys. What's going on over here?" Asked Kyle as he walked onscreen. "Ah. Staring as if Satan was going to come in through the doorway?"

"Yeah! It's fun! Try it out, Kyle." said Johnny as he took a step behind the bigger man.

"Oh, alright..." Kyle said before he stared offscreen- a purple light and 'It's Raining Men' suddenly playing as Storm walked into the shot from offscreen.

Storm, shaking his head looked around, "Where the hell am I?"

A yellow light on the console began blinking. Without a second thought, Johnny hit the button.

Bill showed up onscreen, leaning back in a lavish armchair as Leon was in the background, rifling through papers. The CWA owner cackles, "Looks like instead of hellfire, you got homo-heat!"

Kyle, Raiden, Johnny, and Storm all looked at each other. Kyle slowly said, "I don't get it."

The other's shook their head, sharing his confusion.

"You know... Homo-heat. Fire? Storm. As in Suregay Storm? Making fun of Surge- ah, what do you know from funny! The point is: Enjoy your little guest while he lasts!" Said Bill, followed by his maniacal laughter.

"Yeah, we'll be sure to do that." Said Kyle as the view settled back on the four men on the Satellite of Love, all inexplicably dressed as a Barbershop Quartet. They began a medley of songs as the scene faded to black.

JIMSZ - October 23, 2009 03:40 PM (GMT)
yay I got a line<_<

Da Notorious B.V.D. - October 23, 2009 06:49 PM (GMT)
I'm now disappointed because I have had less lines than Jimpy. >_>

Gamera - October 23, 2009 08:52 PM (GMT)
QUOTE (Da Notorious B.V.D. @ Oct 23 2009, 01:49 PM)
I'm now disappointed because I have had less lines than Jimpy. >_>

<.< I have plans to include one wrestler/announcer of the CWA at least once besides the main cast. Though all may not riff. Be patient, Padawan.

Da Notorious B.V.D. - October 23, 2009 10:47 PM (GMT)
QUOTE (Gamera @ Oct 23 2009, 04:52 PM)
QUOTE (Da Notorious B.V.D. @ Oct 23 2009, 01:49 PM)
I'm now disappointed because I have had less lines than Jimpy. >_>

<.< I have plans to include one wrestler/announcer of the CWA at least once besides the main cast. Though all may not riff. Be patient, Padawan.

Hmm? No, I understand that. It's just the fact that it's Jimpy, had it been anyone else I would be fine. >_>;

Hardcore Sniper - October 23, 2009 10:59 PM (GMT)
I actually marked out that I was in the main cast but I had to stop reading because of FF 7 spoilers <_<.

storm - October 23, 2009 11:15 PM (GMT)
Is there anyway I can be the mascot?

Gamera - October 24, 2009 01:25 AM (GMT)
QUOTE (Hardcore Sniper @ Oct 23 2009, 05:59 PM)
I actually marked out that I was in the main cast but I had to stop reading because of FF 7 spoilers <_<.

I won't be doing JUST Shinra High. Right now, I'm looking for a fic that I can jump to real quick.

... Mascot? >.>; *Confuzzled.*

Gamera - October 27, 2009 08:18 AM (GMT)
The scene opens to Johnny talking to Storm. He scratches the back of his head as he asks, "So wait... You're saying that a gun is only one way to kill a mint?"

"That's right. I'm an expert at it!" Exclaimed Storm with a nod as he picked up a box and placed it on the counter. He pulled items out, naming them out loud as he did, "You can use a hammer, a bowl of water, or even a dog!"

"Oooh, a puppy!" Shouted a suddenly excited Johnny. The dog barks as it races off the counter and offscreen.

"Woah! Hey! Hey, guys? Was that a dog?" Said Kyle as he walked onscreen.

"It was a puppy." Corrected Johnny with a big smile on his face. An awkward silence filled the air.

"I was showing him how one could kill mints in a variety of ways." Interjected Storm in the silence.

"Great. You know, I never really got tha-" Started Kyle until he was interrupted by a light on the console blinking. Without a second thought, Johnny pressed the button.

Bill showed up on a wide screen, arms crossed with a particularly evil look in his eye.

"Hi, Bill." Said Kyle with a sigh, Raiden finally walking into the shot. "So another chapter of Shinra High School today?"

"No. No Shinra High today, my little guinea pigs!" Said Bill, as he became more and more confident in his posture.

"What?" Asked Johnny, Raiden, and Kyle in Unison. They all looked to each other wide-eyed and happy.

"No more pain!" Shouted Johnny.

"No more stuffy rooms!" Shouted Raiden.

"No more fics!" Shouted Kyle.

Cackling evilly, Bill uncrossed his arms to pick up a fic offscreen. He slowly began, "Weeeeeell, I wouldn't say that."

The mood in the ship falling flat back down to hopelessness, the crew members of the Satellite of Love sighed as Bill continued, "This one's a real stinker. A little gender-role change for you and since it's not as long as the other one's chapters, I may double or triple your installments! It's called 'A story called fate' and it's an Inuyasha fanfic!"

The consoles all blinked and a siren went off. Storm blinked and asked, "Fanfic sign?"

Kyle nodded, "Yeah. WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!"

(Door Sequence)

6...5...4...3...2...1...

THEATRE:

<Storm: So this is what it's like in the theatre. Cozy. Smells a little like BBQ, though.

<Raiden: Mm... Puppy.

<Johnny: Noooo! D=

A Story Called “FATE”

<Kyle: The rise of the Pillsbury Doughboy.

First off, I don’t own inuyasha or any of the characters.

(If I did things would have been a lot different I can tell you.)

<Johnny: Inuyasha would be a lunchlady.

<Kyle: Kagome would be a CIA operative.

<Storm: Sesshoumaru would be an actual dog- played by Lassie.

<Raiden: Kikyo would still be dead.

“Damn!” Inuyasha Yelled as his attack was deflected by Kanna’s Mirror.

“It’s no use Inuyasha, we can’t break through that mirror!” Miroku Stated.

<Raiden: The obvious- Always Miroku's strong point.

<Johnny: He told me it was lower. <_<

“Hmph, Weak Half-demon, I despise the fact that my father’s blood runs through your veins! Let me show you how it’s done, Dragon Strike!!” Sesshomaru yelled. A blue blast of energy came forth from the tokijin and hit Kanna’s mirror dead-on.

<Storm: Do any of you know what the hell is going on?

<Kyle, Raiden, and Johnny: Nope.

<Storm: Also stopped watching after the first twenty episodes?

<Kyle, Raiden, and Johnny: Yep.

<Storm: Thought so.

“It’s no use, you will all fall victim to my miasma!” Naraku shouted gleefully. “Now prepare to… Huh what is this?”

Kanna’s mirror was now shining a bright blue and looked as though it would shatter at any second. “Something’s coming through!” Kagome and Sango cried in unison.

<Kyle: Two at once? Nice one, Miroku!

Sure enough a hand was coming through the mirror! How can this be? I thought the mirror only sucked out souls? Naraku thought.

“(Evil Laughter) Mwahahahah! Finally I am free from this accursed mirror!”

<Johnny: Now to find those accused Power Rangers!

The Hand’s owner said. “What the Hell!!!! What is that?!” Inuyasha yelled. “Ugh, That voice! It can’t be!” Sesshomaru said with a slight fear in his tone. “How can this be? Lord Sesshomaru is trembling!” Jaken thought.

<Raiden: Again with the thinking in quotes! At least it seemed like it would be consistent in the vomit of that High School fic.

“Hm, Is that you little brother.” The voice said. "Wwwhhhaaaattt!!!!!!!!" Everyone including Naraku and his Incarnations shouted. “Brother huh, Kagura thought, If Sesshomaru can’t free me, maybe he can!”

<Johnny: Oh! So this is what he meant by gender-role change!

“HAHAHAHAHAHAH”… Said

<Kyle: Place your bets, boys. I vote douchebag.

<Raiden: Ass on a stick.

<Storm: That, but with a hoe on the side.

<Johnny: Gary Stu. >_>

A/N: Sorry the chapters so short! It takes awhile for me to write so I’ll make sure the next chapter is longer.

<Raiden: What the Hell? Is his name Author's Note?

<Kyle: That isn't the WORST name I've seen for an original character. Original is being used loosely here.

FYI: I haven’t came up with a name for The older brother yet. So Suggestions are welcomed!!!!

<Storm: Well, that wasn't so bad. Are we done now?

A Story Called Fate

<Raiden: Dear...

<Johnny: Sweet...

Chapter 2: The Past Revisited

<Kyle: Merciful...

<Storm: God.

Well, I finally did chapter 2. I like to thank the people who reviewed my first chapter, and the people who have added it to their favorites. Also like to thank all the people you supported me. Thanks!

Kingka

Darkroge

Little Syaoran

<Raiden: You all suck!

Italic Text means thoughts!

<Storm: He's making a step in the right direction now, right?

<Johnny: Don't get your hopes up.

Damn. I tried to forget that day. I pushed it and I pushed it. But no matter how hard I pushed,

<Kyle: If this is a dude, we may be in for some MPreg, people.

<Raiden: I'm out. T_T

<Kyle: Get back here.

I couldn’t forget. First my father is killed saving a human and inuyasha. Then my older brother is killed protecting me. It’s MY fault. I’m to blame for everything.

<Johnny: You're not to blame for this bad fic.

190 years earlier

<Kyle: Still Samurai Jack tries to delve further into the past.

<Raiden, as Aku: Ah-ha-ha-ha... Sam-u-rai Jack!

<Kyle, as Samurai Jack: Aaaakuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

(Groan) “Damn it, we need backup my lord” the low-class demon yelled as more and more higher class demons stormed the gates.

“Me? Backup? Ridiculous! I Sesshomaru have no need for reinforcements.”

<Raiden: Or commas.

“Oh shut up and let people help you!” a voice said. “You must not value your life you low cla… Oh, it’s you brother.”

<Storm: Looking over that statement several times, I finally figured out that it's supposed to be two different people talking there.

<Kyle: Good detective work.

“What, not glad to see your elder brother? You couldn’t do anything without me. Don’t forget, if father hadn’t convinced me to train you, you would still be a helpless pup." The Elder dog demon said.

<Raiden: Let's see... Weakness or stuck in a bad fic? I'd rather lose to King Arthur than to be stuck in the middle of that mess.

Both bowed their heads in respect for their late father. “Can we…not talk about father now?” Sesshomaru said as a wave of grief washed over him.

“Why? He’s dead now and there’s nothing we could have done. His mind was made up.”

<Kyle, as Sesshoumaru's brother: The bastard got out of the fic while he still could!

“It’s all Inuyasha and his wretched human mother who’s to blame!” Sesshomaru said as he tried to hide his sadness and rage.

<Raiden: Exclamation points do a great job of that!

“Well I think it’s that dragon’s fault. Besides I’d rather fight a strong demon instead of a half-breed any day.”

<Storm: Let him become a challenge that can whoop my ass first. DBZ logic at it's finest.

“Well that’s what you belie…what the hell!” Their talk was interrupted by the sounds of explosions.

“My lord they are breaching the gate.” A low-class demon yelled. “We can’t hold them off any longer Mi-lord. What shall we do?” A worried high-class demon yelled.

<Johnny: Commence plan: "Shit Ourselves".

“Hmm, Maybe we should have asked the panther demons to help us…Argh!! The little demon said as an enemy cut him down.

“I have breached the gates… Argh!!!. Before he could finish a mighty sword cut him down.

<Storm: The pen, though mightier, was a poor weapon choice for that unfortunate fodder.

“Damn it, we are talking here!”

“Losing our temper are we” Sesshomaru joked

“Shut up and let’s get rid of this…Vermin.”

“Right.” Sesshomaru nodded before they took off to fight.

2 Hours and 500,000 dead demons later

<Raiden: In which Sesshomaru's brother killed 499,995 and Sesshomaru killed 5.

“Ugh. Damn it. I can’t hold out much longer.” Sesshomaru openly noted,” If only I had Tetsusaiga and not this useless sword.”

“Brother, that sword is nothing compared to swords I have collected.”

“Then why aren’t you using them?” Sesshomaru Mocked.

<Storm: Mocked? That's a legitimate question. Why aren't you using something that can save your lives?

“I didn’t think they’d be this strong!”

<Raiden: So... Stupidity. Wonderful.

“Yeah, Right.”

“Well, looks like I’ll be joining father sooner than I thought.”

<All, in unison: Good Riddance!

“What? Your joking right!?” Sesshomaru yelled as his brother.

“No, I’m not. You should get out of here while you have the chance. I’ll Hold Them off Brother!”

“I will not leave!”

<Johnny, as Sesshomaru: And I was all like, 'nuh-uh'!

“I said leave, now!”

<Johnny, as Sesshomaru: And he was all like 'yeah-huh'!

“And I said no!”

<Johnny, as Sesshomaru: And I was all like 'no way'!

<Kyle: Alright, that's enough.

“You must live so our Father’s legacy can live on! Now get the hell out of here.”

“I said I would not leave you brother! Nothing you can say can change my mind!”

“Fine! I’ll make you leave! Sesshomaru…” He said as he held up his hand to cast a spell of returning.

<Raiden: Returning him back to where he belonged, outside of this fic.

“NO, Ryuuren!"

That was the last time I saw him. I could have saved him with The Tenseiga or helped fend of the demons with Tetsusaiga. Or if he had his “swords” we might have one that battle.

<Storm: Your Gary Stu brother is a retard- we get it!

Maybe, just maybe, if he had accepted Sounga, he wouldn’t have met his end so soon. Damn. It’s my fault. And he will surely take revenge. He’s even stronger than our father. I don’t think I could survive his onslaught.

<Kyle, as Sesshomaru: It's all my fault that he was too stupid to prepare properly for a fight.

A/N: YAY! You finally know his name!

Storm: I think I skipped over that. Can we scroll up?

Kyle, Raiden, and Johnny, shouting: NO! No, no, no, no, no!

Sorry, couldn’t resist making this chapter. And there will be more sequences like this. Well I Finally got a name with some help from the reviewers. And yes, he can use magic!

<Kyle: Like Mr. Mephistopheles!

FYI: I don’t know if I will have all characters but I will try. So if you want to see a character in the story email and let me know! Also to those who gave me ideas for the names of the older brother, sorry but I could only choose one, BUT, I may add the names I didn’t use and make them minor characters. So Even if I didn’t chooses yours, you still contributed to the story!

All, in unison, monotone: Yay.

Returning to the main chamber of the ship, Johnny is seen holding an open book. He points his hand at Storm shouting, "And... Return!"

In a bright flash and a puff of smoke, Storm disappears. Johnny slapped the book down on the table and shouted, "There's a way home, guys!"

Barreling into the room, Kyle and Raiden both look to Johnny expectantly as he pats his hand on the book. Johnny says, "Using this big book of one-use-only spells on Storm, I found out that-... Oh... Dammit."

The realization of what Johnny had just said caused Kyle and Raiden to once again lower their heads in despair as the view faded to black.

Da Notorious B.V.D. - October 27, 2009 06:52 PM (GMT)
Hooray! An update! >_>!

storm - October 27, 2009 10:43 PM (GMT)
FUCK YES! I'M FINALLY IN IT!

Vulpane - October 27, 2009 11:14 PM (GMT)
Moar?

JIMSZ - October 28, 2009 12:59 AM (GMT)
Facebook like?

Gamera - October 28, 2009 05:26 AM (GMT)
"Alright guys, I'm tired of this!" Shouted Max as he walked onscreen, Kyle, Raiden and Johnny all looking at him because of his sudden outburst.

Slowly, Kyle asked, "Who's flying the...-"

"Autopilot!" Interrupted Max with a stomp. "And I'm stuck up there piloting the ship all bored while you're not doing anything but reading fanfics all day! I don't even get a fitness magazine or an ad for Bed, Bath, and Beyond products! I want to be a real part of this show!"

"Well-" Started a bewildered Kyle until he was cut off again.

"What about me?" Asked Jesse from behind the camera. "I want to join in too!"

The view shook and metal parts clanged together until Jesse finally walked into view, the contrast on the lily-white costars making him appear as a shadow with eyes and teeth.

"You know what? This is a great idea." Said Raiden as he walked offscreen, "I'll be in my room."

"Wait, what...?" Kyle said, reaching out for Raiden.

"I wonder how that camera works?" Asked Johnny as he walked towards the camera. The console's button flashed, and without hesitation, Johnny hit the button as he walked on behind the camera.

"Hey, hold on a min-" Kyle began until Bill cut him off.

"Well, well, well... Is it time for another day of torture already?" Asked Bill after he appeared onscreen. He scrunches his eyes, inspecting them. "Huh? One of you look different. Like a negative. Did you get in the shoe polish again, Johnny?"

"It's me, Bill... You know, Jesse?" Said Jesse with a slightly meek tone to his voice.

"The guy Hill gave the belt to? I guess I remember. Ha ha ha... Anyways, I have a real stinker by the name of Myths of Legend- a Gundam Wing fanfic!" The paper Bill picked up offscreen was soon sucked up with a vacuum sound effect.

Sirens blared and lights began flashing as Kyle shouted, "WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!"

(Door Sequence)

6...5...4...3...2...1...

THEATRE:

A/N: This is a beta chapter for a new story idea. I wanted people's opinions on it, so please read and review.

<Max: It sucks!

DISCLAIMER: I own NOTHING but the characters: Bay, Dani, Cheerios, Katie and Jess; and the Gundams: Gryphon, Phoenix, Siren, Golem and Guardian!

<Max: She owns them?

<Kyle: It's a lame attempt at the belief that her characters could be stolen.

<Jesse: Not even I would steal them!

Myths of Legends

Chapter One: The Beginning

<Jesse: Ooh! Original! The beginning is a beginning.

<Max: Redundant AND informative!

Time can only tell the truth of things.

At an unknown location, five teens sat in a room, watching as the Gundams, piloted by terrorists, destroyed those of the Earth Alliance, thinking they were actually OZ members.

<Jesse: Wow, is High School Musical 5 not on Disney yet?

<Kyle: Quiet before we have to do a High School Musical fic!

A brunette, sitting on the couch upside down, frowned as she asked, “So, these are the guys we’re supposed to work with?”

“It seems that way,” replied a black haired girl, sitting Indian style. The brunette sighed heavily.

“And you guys, call me an idiot,” spoke a tall, black haired girl that was sitting next to a blonde. The blonde threw her arm over the girl’s neck as she replied, “That’s because you are. Just not that big of one, Cheerios.”

<Max: Wait, that wasn't a joke? Her name actually is based off of a breakfast cereal?

<Jesse: And there's no Coco Puffs? Damns this racism be killin' me!

“Yes, Dani, those are our counterparts,” stated a short, black haired teen, sitting next to the brunette.

“Damn… I had hoped they were a little smarter,” the girl pouted. The blonde chuckled at the childish action as she turned the screen off. As soon as the screen had turned black, the metal door into the room opened with a whoosh of air. The girls turned to look at them, the brunette falling to the ground in her attempt.

<Max: Them? There's more than one door now?

The girl closest to her helped her up, laughing silently. Dani settled on to the couch. The man that had walked in shook his head, wondering how these girls had been chosen but knew the answer from experience.

<All, in unison: Sex.

<Max: Huh.

<Jesse: Wow.

<Kyle: We all have a bit more chemistry than I thought...

“Thanks, Bay,” stated Dani, smiling goofily at her friend before turning to the man and asking, “What’s up, professor?”

<Kyle: I believe the correct phrase is "What's up, Doc?"

“I wanted to see what your reactions to the others were,” replied G. The girls looked at each other then back to him.

<Max: "G"? Someone you know, Jesse?

<Jesse: ... Probably.

“They’re very easy to trick,” stated the blonde.

“Katie’s right. They also put too much trust in the information you doctors give them,” stated the girl seated on the floor.

<Kyle, as a girl: Boys are DUMB!

<Jesse: They have cooties!

“Jess has a point. They should have checked on the information before attacking,” stated Cheerios.

“All in all, the only one that seems to have a head on his shoulder is 05,” stated Bay. Dani nodded before remarking, “The others seem like they are capable of their jobs… It’s just they have too many faults that could cause major problems.”

<Jesse: Like having a penis!

“Teamwork for one…” muttered Jess. G was surprised by their reactions. Maybe these teen girls were more than they seemed.

<Max: Go go, Power Suethors!

<Jesse: Go go, Power Suethors, you Godlike Glamorous Power Suethors!

“All right. I think it’s time you were sent out to begin fighting also. If you would come with me, the others are waiting for us in the hanger,” he stated. The girls quickly moved to follow him. The group walked through the cold metal hall towards a door with a keypad next to it, which G promptly opened. They walked into a huge room with five tall, sheet covered structures with a man standing in front each except for one. G moved to stand in front of the structure that no one was standing in front of. Each girl split, heading for their instructor for the last two years.

<Max: And promptly fell back into their routine of screwing them.

“I think I speak for all of us when I tell you that we are proud of you and would like to present you each with your own Gundam made to fit your style,” stated G. The others nodded.

<Kyle, as G: Also, a fruitbasket and a twenty dollar gift certificate to 'Cracker Barrel'.

“Raven, this is your Gundam the Gryphon,” stated J, pulling the sheet off the structure in front of him. A Gundam of white and silver stood there.

<Jesse: Oh, that's SO Raven!

<Max: Future sight as a Sue power? Typical!

“Fox, the Phoenix is yours now,” stated Professor G, revealing a red and black Gundam.

<Kyle: Just be careful when it becomes Dark Phoenix. And for heaven's sake, stay away from Cyclops! ... Too much Marvel Comics?

<Max: A little.

“Serpent, Siren is yours to use as how you see fit,” stated Doctor S, exposing the dark and light blue colored Gundam.

<Max: If you can fit your fat ass in it.

“Tiger, the Golem is yours,” stated Instructor H, revealing a green and brown Gundam to the blonde.

<Jesse: What's with all of these nonsensical codenames? Didn't we get told all of their names at the beginning?

<Kyle: Codenames add coolpoints and drama. Always. Except in shitty fics.

“Falcon, I entrust the Guardian into your hands,” stated Master O, revealing a white and silver gold colored Gundam.

<Max, as Quagmire: Master O? More like Master OH! Giggity-giggity-giggity!

“Thank you,” replied the girls. The doctors nodded before the J stated, “You all know your first mission assignments.”

<Kyle: MISSION! Elite Beat Agents here!

The girls nodded before climbing into their new Gundams. The doctors quickly left the hanger, and the doors opened, letting the five new pilots to head off to their destinations on Earth.

<Kyle: I can't help but to feel that Raiden would comment on their death on the way... I miss him already.

<Jesse: Can I try?

<Kyle: Go ahead.

<Jesse: I'MMA CAP YO ASSES... On the way to Earth.

<Kyle: It's not the same... Thanks, though.

TBC....

<Max: Well, At least we'll get some rest.

DISCLAIMER: I own NOTHING but the characters: Bay, Dani, Cheerios, Katie and Jess; and the Gundams: Gryphon, Phoenix, Siren, Golem and Guardian!

<Max: Dammit!

<Jesse: Relax, Max! She owns Cheerios- she could sue us for all we're worth!

Myths of Legends

Chapter 2- First Encounters

First meetings aren’t always the best.

<Kyle, as the narrator: In fact, they tend to be worse during a war!

A slim, tall woman looked down from her perch on the roof, a simple ponytail holding her light brown hair out of her eyes. The sound of gunfire and explosions filled the air before with a deafening boom, the OZ base exploded.

Max, unenthusiastically: Boom.

“Did you get the data?” she asked. A shorter woman with short black hair and all black clothes, leaning against the wall the brunette stood on, looked up at her, answering, “Yeah, but someone else was copying the data too, Fox.”

<Kyle, as the black-haired woman: Which is weird since it was full of bestiality and J. Edgar Hoover pictures. In fact, I don't see why we had to steal this at all!

The brunette, Fox, turned and jumped down, landing lightly. “I noticed someone else laying bombs as I went through the base. I figure pilot 01 and 02 were there. They’re the most known of the pilots for working together, but that’s besides the matter. We got what we needed, Raven.”

Raven nodded before the two left, no one any the wiser to their presence.

<Jesse: That's SO Raven!

<Max: Never gonna get old is it?

(Few Days Later)

Kyle: And the fic leaves just as rancid a taste in my mouth as always!

“Damnit, what the hell did you do, hot head?” shouted Bay as the two ran from the OZ soldiers chasing them.

<Jesse, as one of the girls: I shot the Good Witch and punched the Wizard in his big, giant head!

“One of them asked for my ID and realized it was a fake,” she replied, “Next intersection, go right. That area is normally crowded at this time a day.”

Bay nodded, and both turned the corner and quickly mixed in with the crowd. Bay looked at her friend and said quietly, “Split up.”

Dani nodded before taking off in another direction. She dodged between people before slipping into an alley. She sighed in relief before glancing out to see anyone in an OZ uniform was nearby.

<Kyle: There wasn't. There was, however, an OZ officer taking a leak next to her.

She quickly took off her jacket and tossed it into a dumpster, sighing. Jess and Katie were so going to kill her, but the jacket stood out too much.

<Max: Hey, a jacket in a dumpster. Beats stealing it.

<Jesse: Stealing it is part of the craft. It's what makes it WORTH it.

<Kyle: Did we just skip an obvious "Got it from a My Chemical Romance" concert joke?

<Max: Damn.

She slipped out into the crowds and froze when shouts reached her ears. She realized it was nowhere near her and began to move quickly towards where a commotion was happening, worried about her friend. She pushed her way through the people to the front. Two OZ soldiers had a hold of a young man with a long braid.

<Jessie: Her friend had turned into a man.

The man was struggling, and Dani felt suddenly cold when she realized who the young man was. She glanced around and caught sight of a young man with wild dark brown hair and Persian blue eyes watching the scene impassively. She gave a silent sigh, thinking ‘Bay is surely going to kill me for doing this, but I can’t leave him with OZ.’

<Max: Sure she can. Hell, already they sound like the Tinman and Scarecrow.

She took a calming breath and pasted a bright smile on her face as she ran out, shouting, “Big brother!”

She glomped the man, who caught her since the guards had released him when she ran out.

<Kyle: Tackle into a man who's been captured by armed guards? Genius!

“Play along,” she whispered before pulling back.

“Excuse me, who are you?” asked one of the soldiers. Dani looked over, smiling as she replied:

“Rei Night. My brother and I are visiting this colony.”

<Max, as Dani: As LOVERS...~

She rummaged in her pockets and pulled out some folded papers. She unfolded it and held it out to the soldier, “Here’s our papers, sir.”

<Kyle: More magic paper, huh?

<Jesse: Huh? You mean like that extendo-paper Johnny got?

<Kyle: Yeah, except this obviously gets you out of trouble in the stupidest of ways.

The soldier took them and looked them over before nodding and handing them back, “Everything seems in order. Sorry, for the misunderstanding.”

<Kyle, as a soldier: We'll overlook his suspicious behavior. Move along. Oh, and before I forget, how about my wallet?

Dani took the papers, quickly put them up and nodded, “It’s alright, sir.”

She turned to her “brother” and grabbed his hand, tugging him along as she walked away, “Let’s get going, brother.”

After walking for a little while she pulled the young man into an alley behind her.

<Jesse: Proceeding then to mug him, taking all he had.

As soon as they were out sight, she dropped his hand, turning towards him, arms crossed over her chest and a scowl on her face.

“And Raven thinks I’m bad at hiding in a crowd,” she muttered. The man looked at her curiously before asking, “Why did you help me? I’m a complete stranger.”

<Max: This is supposed to be Duo, right?

<Kyle: Yep.

<Max: Wouldn't he just thank her nonchalantly while belittling a bit as he goes to leave?

<Jesse: Not here. Not in Hell.

Dani snorted before replying and raising a finger as she listed off her reasons, “I helped you because: 1) I know what OZ does to rebels; 2) I could help; and 3) it’s a bad idea to let OZ have a Gundam Pilot, pilot 02 aka Duo.”

Duo gapped at the girl, stuttering out, “Wha…but h…how?”

<Jesse: Gapped? Good luck jumping over that!

Before she could answer, there was a flash of light behind Duo and a bang. Two pieces of metal fell in front of her, right at her feet. The man from the crowd stepped up behind Duo, a gun in his hand pointed at Dani.

<Jesse: Waaaait... What?

<Kyle: Suethor pwn ability. Just watch.

“Heero!” shouted Duo in surprise when he saw his partner. Dani frowned at the cold man as she felt the comforting presence of Bay step up behind her. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a gun in Bay’s hand.

<Max: See, Heero should've watched Zombieland. Always double-tap.

“Thanks for the save, Raven,” she whispered before growling at Heero, “I can’t believe you tried to kill me after I saved your partner, but I guess that’s gratitude from Doctor J’s Ice Boy.”

<Jesse: Would he have outright shot her in the first place?

<Kyle: The show sucked, but from what I remember, he'd probably give her the emo stare while pointing his gun at her while he gets Duo out of there.

<Jesse: So... No.

Dani spun on her heel and began to walk away, calling over her shoulder, “Let’s go, Raven.”

Bay looked blankly at the two pilots before jogging after her friend. Heero began to pull the trigger again but stopped when Duo shook his head, whispering, “Don’t. She risked getting in a lot of trouble to help me. If she was going to use the knowledge of who I was against me, she would have straight out told OZ, but she didn’t."

<Kyle, as Duo: Also, she was pretty cute! You think they'll let us make babies with them? Ah Hell, I'm in too deep in this fic NOT to!

“I can’t believe he shot at me?!” shouted Dani when she and Bay reached the house, the two were hiding at.

<Jesse: I'd shoot at you.

“You know how he is. He thought you were a threat, and he was taught to get rid of all threats,” replied Bay, flopping down onto the sofa. Dani sat down next to her in a huff.

<Max: Well, Mary Sues are big threats to any fandom.

“Still…” she muttered. The two fell into silence, watching the crappy TV show that was on.

<Kyle: Gundam Wing.

The motorcycle sped forward, the rider clad in thick black jeans, a black motorcycle jacket, and a black full-face helmet. The face shield was too darkly tinted to identify the woman. Her attire made it impossible to tell that she even was a woman.

<Max, as the narrator: But that image is ruined now... Move along!

She headed into the mobile suit manufacturing center.

As she approached the entrance, she turned left and shut down the motorcycle. No one had seen her, nor did they see her when she jumped the wall. She found her way into the storehouse and planted charges as she hacked into the inventory and blueprints on a computer using Raven’s disk.

<Jesse: ... Can I?

<Kyle and Max: Fine...

<Jesse: That's SO Raven!

‘Perfect,’ the teenage girl thought as she removed the disk and set the timer on the charges, then headed into the assembly building. Despite the dark tint of her motorcycle helmet, she could still see everything in the night. It was part of her Gundam training for the rebels.

<Max: Or something that made a bit more sense- like nightvision goggles.

The young woman headed to the manufacturing computer and inserted the disk and hacked through the passwords. She began downloading the data from the computer to the disk. When it was finished, she switched the disks and began uploading the virus into the OZ systems.

<Kyle: Soon, Goatse would be on every screen of every monitor of every room!

Suddenly, she heard the breathing from behind her. She turned just in time to block the young man’s kick. The boy was Chinese, about her age.

<Jesse: So, are they going to make out?

<Kyle: Don't get ahead of the fic.

The fight commenced, both of the teens striking and blocking at the same rate. Block, kick, punch, knifehand, block, strike after strike, block after block, neither gaining any ground.

<Max: Even with my imagination this fight scene is bland. Then again, I'm thinking more about topless Valkyries riding dolphins.

The Chinese guy went to punch again and the girl caught his fist as she threw a punch of her own, which the boy caught in turn. In their stalemate, the male spoke.

“Master O,” he said, “Do you know this name?”

<Max, as Quagmire: Giggity.

The girl nodded through her helmet.

“You’re part of the next set, aren’t you?” he asked.

<Kyle, as Butthead: Huhuhuhuh... Set. Like a set of boobs.

<Jesse, as Beavis: Yeah! Yeah! Boobs! Heheheheheh.

Then, there was an explosion, and the entire base quaked. The two rebels kept their balance, barely, and the girl popped the disk out as the data virus began to spread.

The two darted out of the base as more explosions followed, reacting to the first. Apparently, the first charge set off the fuel in the warehouses and chaos ensued. The girl headed straight for the motorcycle and she gestured for the boy to sit on the back. He turned and got on his bike and they both headed into the nearby woods. When they were safely out of sight, they stopped.

<Max: The action is packed so much, I can't even tell when it hit a brick wall to stop!

“So you are a Gundam pilot...” the boy said as he turned off the bike, “For the rebel forces. Then, we are on the same side.”

<Kyle, as the boy: Which is why I kicked you. It's how the rebels say 'hello' you see...

“Yes,” the girl spoke as she unfastened her helmet, “You are Chang Wufei, Gundam Pilot 05, I am Falcon,” she took off the helmet, revealing a beautiful young woman with dark brown, almost black, hair and chocolate brown eyes. Chang looked shocked.

<Jesse: Chang clanged!

“You’re a woman!” he exclaimed.

<Max: Translation: Boooooooooobs!

“Thank you, Captain Obvious,” Falcon answered.

<Kyle: What? He goes by that name? Looks like I have to rethink my gimmick change...

<Jesse: Sorry man.

“But women are weak!” Wufei argued, “You match my fighting....I fought a woman!” he continued in disgust.

<Max: Making you weak!

<Kyle: Well, he was fighting suethor power. He's lucky he could match her.

<Jesse: At least he knows the truth about women.

<Kyle: ... You haven't met Rina's sister, have you?

<Jesse: No, why?

“Well, obviously I’m not weak, now get over it, Wolf, and let’s get the hell out of here!”

A blonde woman walked the street, humming a tune to herself. She paused as she passed a park to look at the children. Soft crying reached her ears, and she looked over to the source to find a young boy sitting in front of a tree, crying.

<Kyle: He was just in the middle of reading this fic.

She glanced up into the tree and noticed a kite stuck on one of the branches. She entered the park and headed over to the boy. She knelt next to him and softly asked, “Is that your kite stuck in the tree?”

<Max, as the boy: That's not my kite, lady. MOM!

The boy sniffled as he replied, “Y…yes, the wind caught it and blew it into the tree.”

“Want me to get it for you?” she asked, smiling softly. The boy looked up her, hope in his eyes as he asked, “Would you really?”

<Max, as the boy: Yeah, yeah, that's nice. MOOOOM!

The blonde just laughed before standing up. She looked at the tree, trying to decide how to get to the kite. She sighed before beginning to climb the branches. She straddled the branch below the one the kite was stuck on and scooted across it.

<Kyle: Looks like the Giving Tree is finally getting some!

She began to reach up to the kite when an ominous cracking noise sounded. She paused and slowly looked back over her shoulder. ‘Crap,’ she thought when she saw that the branch was beginning to break. She turned back and quickly reached up. Right as her fingertips touched the kite, the branch broke, and the blonde tumbled downward.

Her eyes closed as she waited for impact. But instead of the hard ground, she landed on something soft that grunted when she landed.

<Max, as the boy, sobbing: MOOOM!

Her eyes snapped open and landed on a short blonde and blue-eyed man. She scrambled off the man and quickly helped him up as she muttered apologies. The man laughed it off and stated, “It’s fine. I’m just glad you aren’t hurt, miss.”

She blushed faintly as she replied, “I am really sorry for landing on you. I was trying to get the kite that was stuck in the tree for a little boy.”

<Max, as the little boy: Yeah, I'm leaving now...

“I assure you, it’s quite alright,” reassured the man.

<Jesse: He assured her AS he reassured her. Now that's a comforting man.

The blonde woman looked about to argue, but the man shook his head and stated, “It’s fine. Now, I must get going.”

The woman nodded and watched as the man walked away, and she whispered to herself, “Great way to make a good first impression on pilot 04.”

A tall, shorthaired brunette was staring at a map as she walked through the city streets, muttering to herself, “This makes no sense at all to me.”

<Kyle: My sentiments exactly!

<Max: Finally, someone sane!

<Jesse: A voice for the people!

She turned a corner and ran straight into someone. Before she could fall to the ground, two arms grabbed her. She looked up and into a single green eye.

<Kyle: A beholder? Sweet! Finally, one of them dies!

The young man that she had run into set her on her feet before just gazing unemotionally at her. She blushed self-consciously as she quickly apologized, “I’m sorry for running into you. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

<Jesse, as the girl: His detachment from emotions are so dreamy- like Edward Cullen!

The man just nodded before turning to leave. The brunette quickly caught his attention, “Wait! Can you help me find the public library here?”

<Max, as the girl: I want to check out a book about your body- I mean Gundam Pilots- I mean sex!

The uni-banged teen looked back at her before giving a swift nod and walking off. The brunette ran to catch up, thinking, ‘Doctor S was right. Pilot 03 isn’t social at all.’

<Kyle, as the girl: Or maybe it's my horse-breath halitosis?

TBC...

<Jesse: Wait... Is that it? That's it, right?

<Max: I dunno... Kyle?

<Kyle: Well... The lights will come on soon. Then we can go from script format to-

"Ah! Prose... So much better." Said Kyle, cracking his neck. The contrast and brightness had been adjusted at this point to perfectly show Jessie while the others appeared to be glowing white. Raiden, appearing little more than a walking beacon of light stepped into the shot setting a bright box onto the counter.

"Pizza! Awesome!" Said Jesse as he opened up the box. The console began to flash and a white figure walked into the shot to press the button.

Bill showed up on the wide viewing screen, slowly turning in his chair as he mused, "Aaaah... Now, let's see how insane you ar- AAAAH! Ghosts!"

The transmission was frantically cut off as the crew went to enjoy the pizza. Kyle asked, "So Raiden, where'd you get this?"

"Turns out this is all a business expense. We've even got a petty cash fund for us." Said Raiden. The white beams around Jesse casually walked around. Raiden continued, "So, you have any fun?"

"Well, it was a Hell of a Suethor fic, but I'm telling you, this is insane- we all had a good thing going. I'm starting to feel like we're all one, big happy family." Said Kyle with a chuckle.

"Ya'lls white people be crazy!" Said Jesse.

Johnny, his white hand patting Jesse on the shoulder, said "That's our Negro!"

Laughter filled the room shortly afterwards until they all froze in place. Several moment passed as silence took hold, Jesse breaking it by saying, "You know I'mma kill you."

Laughter again filled the room as the view faded to black.

Hardcore Sniper - October 28, 2009 05:36 AM (GMT)
This is amazing.

JIMSZ - October 28, 2009 11:05 PM (GMT)
Imma kill Johnny <_<

storm - October 28, 2009 11:58 PM (GMT)
QUOTE (JIMSZ @ Oct 28 2009, 11:05 PM)
Imma kill Johnny <_<

Jealous motherfucker.

Gamera - October 31, 2009 07:02 AM (GMT)
Up high on the Satellite of Love, Kyle, Raiden, and Johnny were all playing a board game. One rolls the die, and moves a piece. Rolls the die and moves a piece. Rolls the die...

"A chute into a Nuclear Waste dump! That's it, no more Apocalypse Candyland!" Said Kyle as he backed up from the board.

"I dunno. I kind of like it. I already almost have radiation luminescence," Said Raiden, shrugging a bit. He looked over to Johnny and back at Kyle. "We came up with this game while you, Max and Jesse were in the theater."

"Yeah, thanks for that. How come I'm always in the theater? I mean, you guys got a break, so wh-" Started Kyle before he was cut off by Johnny immediately pressing the flashing button on the console.

"Mwahahahahaha, it's back to basics my pea-brained, soon-to-be-mushie-persona'd test subjects!" Exclaimed Bill, the CWA owner gleefully putting his hands together in a typical evil, bond-villian-esque way. He picks up a pile of papers, pulling the level to get them sucked up offscreen. "Have fun with Shinra High again, losers!"

"What?! No! Aa-WE GOT FANFIC SIGN!" Shouted Kyle as the lights and sirens went off.

(Door Sequence)

6...5...4...3...2...1...

THEATRE:

Science Class

<Johnny: Oh good, another chapter detailing a small part of her first day at school.

<Raiden: Are you taking my lines? <_<

<Johnny: Are you taking mine? <_<

Chapter 3.)

“Oh. That sounds...painful.” She laughed. “The bell is going to ring.” Julia observed, heading for the doorway. “We’ll be on time, even if Professor Okokou won’t be.” And, flashing a brilliant smile at Sephiroth, she walked through the door to the chemistry labs.

<Raiden: And thus, he instantly fell further into love- a black hole of love if you will. One where he'll be crushed under intense gravity and never rise again.

<Kyle: You could say that they shared some real 'chemistry'.

<Johnny: Boo. <_<

She sat down and dropped her backpack to the tiled floor with a loud “thud” noise, before removing the binder and notebook she’d dedicated to science.

<Kyle: Dedicated? Somehow, I doubt science is impressed.

There were still muffled curses and shouting coming from outside.

Sephiroth was laughing quietly, enjoying the sounds of his father being trampled flat. God knows he more then deserved it. Maybe one of these days the idiotic man would wise up and vanish permanently from the face of the Earth.

<Raiden: Either we jumped perspectives a bit or Julia has become Omniscent.

<Johnny: She has become self-aware.

<Kyle: GAWDAMMIT, SKYNET!

He turned to Julia. “Don’t mind the noises too much. This is a pretty regular occurrence. He probably doesn’t feel a thing by now.”

<Kyle, as Sephiroth: Like when I shove my sword's sheath up my ass.

“I’m not too worried. Hmph. He probably needs it. I’ve heard he’s notorious for experiments that cannot possibly be considered humane.” She smiled, almost sadly. “I’m an animal rights activist. While I can kill humans without a twinge of conscience, I don’t like to see animals hurt. And,”

<Raiden: So she openly admits to being more than able to kill people without any worry and here is Seph here being a person. Kinda. Sorta.

<Johnny: I wouldn't consider him a person.

Her eyebrow rose in polite query, “Hojo abuses animals, does he not?” The grip she had on her pencil had tightened considerably, and the hand clutching it was trembling slightly.

<Kyle, as Julia: Putting make-up on them and dressing them up like whores to beta test my ensemble!

“Unfortunately.” Sephiroth shook his head. “It’s really a shame. I don’t understand exactly why Hojo does things like he does, but God forbid he explain anything to me.”

<Raiden, as Sephiroth: You know, rather than me actually do anything about it. Forget the fact that I was a powerful villain in the game. Oh no, I'm a pansy high schooler that's fallen head over heals over a chick who's as appealing as a cardboard cutout of Edward Cullen.

Her grip loosened. “I suppose it can’t be helped. I don’t like it, but it doesn’t occur to me that there is anything I can do about it.” Her normal cool composure returned.

<Johnny: Bitch Mode- Reactivated. You'd think her Mary Sue powers would make it all right again.

Her moods swung so suddenly, Sephiroth was left wondering whether he had imagined that moment of her weakness.

<Kyle: You mean showing concern for animals? While highly cliche for the Mary Sues out there, we know it better as being sensible.

He shook his head, honestly confused, but decided to forget about it, since a battered and beaten Hojo had just hobbled into the room looking fit to kill.

<Kyle: And hot to trot! *Growls sexily.*

“Lovely. He’s finally here.” Julia looked bored.

“It certainly took him long enough, didn’t it?”

“Yes. Far too long.”

<Johnny: Class over! Alright, can we leave now?

<Raiden: Not yet. Damn it... T_T

Hojo glared at the two in the back of the classroom. The two that still dared to be talking when he was ready to begin. A vein above him eyebrow twitched violently before he shouted, in a loud satanic roar. “SILENCE!!!” He once again glared pointedly in his son’s direction.

<Johnny: Someone's getting the evil eye...

<Kyle: Well, she has to totally prove how unfair he is. Like, duh!

It was that moment Reno choose to come slamming into the room, connecting the door solidly with the back of Hojo’s head.

<Raiden: You know, comic relief or not, I don't like how that "Turk" school organization- however that translates here, is keeping him from getting expelled. The little douchebag.

Acting as though not a thing had happened, Reno flopped down at the table diagonal the one Julia occupied, grinning at her. He glanced at Professor Okokou, and grinned at him. “Oopsies. Sorry...”

<Raiden: Ugh... Die.

Under his breath he added, “not...”

<Raiden: Die!

And louder, “...sir.” He then proceeded to begin clicking the top of his pen, eyes scanning the room for any implements that may be used to create some sort of mayhem.

<Johnny: I'm kind of with Raiden here. That personality is a bit too ridiculous.

<Kyle: Even if you don't see a lot of him, Reno may be unprofessional at times, but at heart, he WAS a professional. 'Course ficcer here thought making him annoying as hell would make her story funny! ... Not.

<Johnny: ... Sir.

<Raiden: Not you, too! T_T

With a sarcastically worried frown, Julia stood up and nudged Hojo’s prone/unconscious form with the tip of her boot. “Anyone here carrying a cure spell?” She kicked the professor again, this time harder then the first, trying to wake him up without wasting valuable MPs.

<Raiden: If you can return it by RESTING, why not? You're in a school, not oh, let's say- a damn terrorist group meant to bring down Shinra?

<Kyle: Ah- ah- ah! AVALANCHE is full of preps.

Various people shook their heads. Sephiroth rolled his eyes.

Julia guessed Sephiroth had a cure spell on him, and casted a Sense spell to confirm it.

<Johnny: Does that even exist?

<Kyle: Well... Yeah, though it's usually referred to as 'Scan'. And it's supposed to be used on enemies- and they tell you everything you need to know only when you use super Mary Sue powers.

She had been right. Quiet laughter shook her shoulders ever so slightly as she returned to her seat.

“He’s not worth wasting magic on.” Sephiroth muttered, wearing an odd half-smile.

<Raiden: Which I feel the urge to abruptly smack off of him.

“Apparently. It seems we don’t have a chem. teacher for today. Damn.”

Hojo moaned and stood, eyes flashing a bloody crimson red. “You all wish you didn’t have a teacher for today...”He hissed, showing off fangs.

“Ahh...shit....” Reno muttered, sinking slightly into his seat. “He’s gonna transform...”

<Raiden: DIE. T_T

“He’s going to what?” Julia was confused, but it didn’t sound good, whatever it was. Personally, she really didn’t want to find out. He looked just slightly dangerous. Amazing if you considered his average height.

<Kyle: It's more amazing when you take the average of his heights instead of his usual, human form one!

Hojo was gaining height as his eyes glowed; his skin began to turn a sickly purplish red. And three slimy-looking tentacles were replacing his left arm. His right arm was elongating, and forming a disgustingly bony claw. His lab coat ripped to accommodate the larger arms now filling the sleeves. His legs had been replaced by myriads of purplish, oozing tentacles. A set of huge black bat wings emerged from his back, the soft tissue torn and lacerated. His canines grew longer, forming sharp fangs, from which dripped a disgusting gelatinous ooze, synonymous with the life- blood of the Planet.

<Johnny: She's going to kill him isn't she?

<Raiden: Well, he seems to be perfect fodder for it.

“Oh, Holy shit...” Julia was staring, wondering ever so slightly how such a phenomena could occur. Certainly Hojo was reputed to be the most formidable scientist currently alive, but honestly now...

<Kyle, as Julia: How could he use science to make himself so much better? He's only one of the smartest guys in the world who has access to genetic experimenting involving alien specimens!

Sephiroth looked dead bored, as if he’d seen this occur a thousand times. He glanced at Julia, remembering that she was a freshman. “Don’t mind him. He does this a lot. Specifically whenever his class displeases him, or when he’s stressed or just pissed off at the world...which he is most of the time.”

<Johnny: You know, I think Sephiroth is as bored with this fic as we are.

“Uh......yeah.” She nodded, but only half heard Sephiroth’s words. Her eyes were fixated on the new Professor Okokou, feeling rather shocked, and still trying to undermine the mystery of Hojo’s sudden, seemingly baseless transformation into this...beast.

<Kyle: Well, at least we know who WON'T be the Beauty to that Beast. Unless they rename it to "Slut-Whore and The Beast".

A frown crossed Sephiroth’s face. “Julia, are you alright?”

“Not really...”

<Raiden: Weakness! Ha! Need your ba-ba, baby? Waaaah!

“It’s really okay. He does this all the time.” He placed a hand on her shoulder. “It’s really only for shock effect. He’s never hurt anyone like that.” He knew that the last statement was a lie. It took all his will power and self-control not to shudder at the memories of what Hojo had done to people in that form. But, Julia looked like she needed to hear that he was harmless...Which as everyone else knew...he definitely was not.

<Kyle: Keep her in the dark. It's not like you can make her MORE stupid.

Hojo hissed violently at the back of the room, where the most terrified whispers were. He directed his eyes at his son. “You...shut the bloody hell up...or......I’ll use you as the beginning of the year example of why you never piss me off....”

<All, in unison: Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!

Sephiroth glared death at his father. “Shut up. There are people in this class that have never seen anyone transform the way you just did. They are scared. I am reassuring them. I do not see any problem with that, so I’d recommend you calm down, or I’ll be forced to report you.”

Kyle: Sephiroth, Tattle-tale.

Hojo’s look turned murderous. “... You press your luck far too far...dear boy...” He was in the back of the room in a teleported flash. A single, muscular tentacle wrapped itself around Sephiroth’s throat and tightened slowly, Hojo grinning, eyes flashing, enjoying strangling, chocking the life out of his son. Enjoying his futile struggle.

<Raiden: I'm kind of enjoying it too.

<Johnny, as Michael Cole: Shades of Benoit!

<Kyle: Dude... <_< At first I was like "What the Hell?", but then I "Lol'd".

It was Julia’s turn to hiss. “Hojo...what type of a teacher...hell, what type of a father are you...that you’d...” Her eyes went dead cold as she looked around the room. “I trust there will be no mention of what I’m about to do. Anyone who dares to mention it to anyone will suffer the same fate...Ultimate End!!”

<Johnny: There are two exclamation marks there.

<Kyle: That's her Mary Sue Ultimate Move.

<Raiden: At least we were spared a lengthy description of sparkles and death.

Ten minutes later, she regained consciousness. She hadn’t the foggiest notion where she was. Regarding her surroundings wearily, Julia struggled to her feet. Every bone and muscle in her body ached.

<Kyle: She was absolutely pissed about sleeping through the gangbangs.

A tall woman in a doctor’s lab coat stared at her from across the room. “You are a foolish child. Brave, but extremely stupid. The spell you cast, whatever it was, tapped your life source for maximum damage. You could have been killed. I won’t even ask why you have unauthorized materia on the grounds.”

<Raiden: Yes, no, yes, no, please make it happen, and no. What's with all of the stupid faculty here?

“...thanks...” She thought for a moment “Am I going to be suspended?”

<Kyle, as the woman in the coat: Suspended? Oh, you wish!

“No. I heard what happened. I understand.” A frown crossed the school nurse’s face. “Professor Okokou is rather known for his temper.”

“Is...Sephiroth alright?” Her voice cracked slightly.

<Raiden: Weakness! Dumbass!

<Johnny: Maybe love doesn't count? But wait, is love preppy? I'm confused.

“Yes. He’s already awake. There really isn’t much anyone can do around here that a Cure spell can’t fix.”

“Where is he?”

“Around. Probably in the waiting room.”

<Raiden: Wow. Attentive. A bullet to the skull of all of these bastards would increase the net IQ of the school.

“Thank you for helping him.” Julia turned and strode from the room, ignoring the swaying and dizziness that fogged her mind.

Sephiroth was sitting in a chair in the far corner of the relatively small room. He had his head resting in his hands, and looked exhausted. When the door opened, he looked up, his expression dead, and a dark bruise around his neck.

<Kyle: Julia had an emo part last chapter. Sephiroth has one this chapter... Both have to do with their fathers... Daddy issues anyone?

Julia darted forward. “Are you alright?”

“...I’m fine.” His eyes were clouded with worry. “What about you? That spell would have gotten Hojo back even if you hadn’t tapped your very life to add power to the spell...” He wrapped his arms around her. “Please don’t risk yourself like that.”

<Kyle: You don't even freakin' know each other! You've spoken for the equivalent of thirty minutes tops! Stop it!

<Johnny: I love how observant he is of her power. <_<

She was shocked, but only for a moment. “I had no choice.” She finally allowed her worry to show. “He would have killed you...” She leaned into his embrace.

<Raiden: Where he promptly snapped her neck.

<Kyle: Or she could wrap her arms around his neck and SNAP!

<Johnny: Hey... It's over, isn't it?

<Raiden: It's never over, Johnny. It's never over.

<Kyle: ... The Hell is isn't!

Returning back to the main chamber of the ship, Kyle is putting on a belt. He finally says to Raiden and Johnny, "Well, I finally found it with the sense materia I borrowed from Jesse! This belt is a personal transporter unit- left irresponsibly on a shelf within reaching distance of a three-year old! With it, I can teleport myself back to Earth- and ditch you two for ditching me!"

"What? You could bring me with you!" Exclaimed Raiden with disappointment in his voice. All he got in response was a smile as Kyle pressed the button on the belt, his body shimmering and disappearing from sight. A few moments later, a smaller figure shimmered and showed up in the main chamber.

"Huh? Where am I? Ooooooh! It's cool here!" Exclaimed the small girl, her tiger-print clothing giving away immediately that she is former Women's Champion, Rina Wilde. The button on the console began to flash, and Johnny immediately hit it.

"Well, well, well... How are you doi-.... Wait. One of you didn't used to be small, Chinese, and female, right? ... You know what? Nevermind. I'm imagining things. Well, then, are we crazed yet?" Asked Bill with a delighted laugh.

"Well... No. Is this a transformation or something?" Asked Johnny as he looked Rina over. "If so, I kind of like it."

"Well either way, Kyle is a dick and left us behind. Rina, your room is this way." Raiden said with a shrug, leading her over to his room.

"Wait! What if she's a Mary Sue and she's using her powers on you?" Asked Johnny with his voice full of concern.

"Don't worry- we have a history. It's not baseless. I mean, we share a non-continuity, non-consensual, unfinished work that a few certain people know about. Maybe we can finally finish it..." Said Raiden with a chuckle as they left offscreen.

"Oh. Okay then." Said Johnny as he stood there, unmoving. Finally, he turned his head and blinked at the camera. "What?"

The view faded to black as a whisper came from behind the camera, "I'mma kill yo ass."

Gamera - November 2, 2009 11:36 AM (GMT)
(I really woulda preferred some more comments before continuing, but eh...)

Raiden, with his arm in a sling, had a satisfied look on his face as he raised up a mug and sniffed, "Ah... Much better."

Johnny walked into the shot, looking from the camera to Raiden and back. Blinking a few times, he finally focuses on Raidenm saying, "So, it looks like you had fun last night. There was a lot of screaming."

"... Last night?" A suddenly tense Raiden repeated, shuddering as he whimpered, "My hands aren't going anywhere! They aren't going anywhere!"

Johnny watched as Raiden scrunched himself up into a ball against the counter, slowly sliding out of the shot. The yellow light on the console began to blink. Without hesitation, Johnny pressed the button.

Bill appeared onscreen, a cruel laugh preceding his usual banter, "alone, Johnny? It would be a shame if you had to read the fanfic all by yourself, wouldn't it?"

"I guess." Johnny shrugged with a neutral expression on his face. Bill appeared displeased at this.

"Well, get the others then. I'll wait." Said Bill as he awkwardly adjusted himself in his seat. Johnny is seen leaving offscreen and returns with Rina next to him. Bill sighs, "Alright. Where's Raiden?"

"... Uh. He's down there. I think something happened between him and Rina." Said Johnny as he pointed behind the counter.

"Rina!" Shouted Raiden as he popped up from behind the counter. Almost sobbing he mumbled, "I didn't know Selena taught her things... Horrible, HORRIBLE things!"

"Right. Well... We're continuing with Chapter 4 of Shinra High! I know your little tricks now. Lets see how well you survive without your precious Kyle!" Said Bill before he reached offscreen and pulled a lever, the papers he grabbed with his other hand getting sucked up through the top of the screen.

Sirens went off and lights started flashing as Johnny and Raiden just looked at each other. Then they looked to Rina. Johnny mumbled incoherently into Rina's ear.

Cocking her head, she nodded to his every word and said, "Huh? Oh, okay! WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!"

(Door Sequence)

6...5...4...3...2...1...

THEATRE:

<Rina: So what do we do exactly?

<Johnny: We make fun of the fanfic. It's really easy.

<Raiden: My arm so cold... And my cocoa was so warm... T_T

Aftermath

<Rina: Yay! Math's always been my worst subject... How was that?

<Raiden: ... Desu.

Chapter 4.)

"We should be heading to our next class." Julia murmured reluctantly. She was still very tired, and really didn't feel like dealing with whatever she had next anyway. She was comfortable.

<Raiden: The last chapter said they were in the infirmary, so I think they'd have reason to stay.

Sephiroth nodded, also reluctant to move.

<Johnny: Sitting in Cloud's lap.

Another few minutes passed before Julia grabbed her backpack and followed Sephiroth out the door. She tried to remember what class was next, but found, to her dismay, that she couldn't.

<Raiden: Because she was stupid.

For that matter, she'd never even been in this wing of the school before. "You know where we're going?"

<Johnny: Hell.

"Yes. We're heading to the concert hall. God only knows where that is from here though."

Julia laughed. "Oh well. We'll get there eventually."

<Johnny: Wow. You've been quiet, Rina.

<Rina: Um... I don't know what to say!

<Johnny: All you need to do is say whatever comes to mind. Trash it up. <_<

<Rina: Oh, okay!

<Raiden: Meanwhile, we've proven our utter boredom and inattentiveness to this fic.

"..Eventually is a good way to put it."

<Rina: I know where she can put it!

<Johnny: <_< Didn't expect that.

"Theoretically, if we find the Main Hall we'll get there?" Julia frowned. She vaguely remembered that the Concert Hall was off of the Main one, matter. She'd rather just spend time with Sephiroth anyway.

<Johnny: Unsheathe his sword. Play with his materia.

<Rina: Try to summon Bahamut but end up with Carbunkle.

<Johnny: Ouch.

They wandered on for quite some distance before reaching the main hall. It was in the middle of a lunch shift. Past the hall, into the cafeteria they could see a food fight going on. Julia sighed, "Why do people have to be such barbarians?" She muttered, mostly to herself.

<Raiden: Obviously, the problem is with the school. This school is the crux of the fic- and it sucks. It's unrealistic, unimaginative, and just a lame excuse to have Hogwarts in Final Fantasy.

"Most humans are." Sephiroth himself looked disgusted. "However, such undisciplined behavior." He shook his head.

"What on Earth are we going to tell Mr. Loft? I don't believe the nurse gave us passes."

"We don't have to worry about it. There are usually late, or sometimes completely absent, students from Hojo's labs. Most of the teachers are pretty understanding."

"Thank God for small favors."

<Rina: Sephiroth's penis?

<Johnny: You really like to attack that thing, don't you?

<Raiden: Don't remind me! T_T

They reached the entrance to the concert hall, and entered, to a room where Mr. Loft already had utter chaos underway. He looked up from the score he was reading and half-frowned, half smiled. "Well, there's my tenor ." as he erased Sephiroth's name from the absent list, he requested the other's name.

".."

<Raiden: Silence, the best policy.

"Last name?"

"Nakahamou."

"?"

<Johnny: Confused silence, the second-best policy.

"Yes."

"Where did you come from, and do either of you have an unexcused pass?"

<Rina: I'm sure their passes are VERY excused, thank you very much!

Sephiroth spoke up. "We came from Professor Okokou's class, sir. We do not have a pass."

"'re here from Professor Okokou?"

"Yes."

<Raiden, yawning: Riveting dialogue. It's like reading one of The Mantis' promos.

<Johnny: I'm vely vely solly.

"Well, then it is understandable that you don't have a pass." He grinned at Sephiroth. "You just get your ass to the back of the room and get those drums of yours out, and you," He turned to smile at Julia, "Front row please."

Johnny, as Julia: But PREPS!

Julia went to her seat and pulled out her flute case, opening it and taking out her gleaming sliver flute. She proceeded to examine the music in front of her, smiling with relief at the complexity of the score. In difficulty, it could have been no less then a six or seven. Finally there would be a challenge suiting to her playing abilities. No more crappy- assed level one and two music and virtually unbearably pathetic excuses for musicians.

<Rina: It's certainly easy to be a musical genius on paper, isn't it?

<Raiden: Easier on the ears, anyways.

Mr. Loft gave measure they were starting at in the "First Suit in E? Major". And Julia leapt into the song, delighting anew in the glorious sound of her "Jupiter". The flute had been expensive, and it had been all she could do to scrape up the gil to afford it, but she was glad she had.

<Raiden: And by 'scraping up', we mean her usual whoring.

<Johnny: It's funny how everything seems to be an afterthought with this author. We've never even heard of this flute and I don't think anyone's called her 'Megami' yet. Forgetful Mary Sue...

They moved through the "Chaccone" pretty quickly, Julia playing the 20 or so measures of the solo. She delighted in the snare and base drums, loving the resounding tones of the percussion. The high B? fermata resounded through her flute, but she was more interested in the tones surrounding her, mostly the saxophones, mellophones, and French horns.

<Raiden: Of course, that was after she came back from her visit to Google.com and Dictionary.com.

The second movement was a slightly more percussion weighted march, entitled "Intermezzo". Of the three movements making up the suit, this one was the most beautiful. It wasn't the slow, sad melody Julia normally played, but the tune of this second movement was compelling and very catchy.

<Rina: And I love how we can hear it! ... Reading the description of it like this is so boring! Can't we just skip music class?

She was disappointed as the song ended and the bell rang. She had been listening to the percussion at the end of the "March", the third and final movement. More then any other instrument, the drums were so beautiful, although they couldn't beat a complex melody. The feel of the drums passing trough her very soul was so was a feeling, once experienced, that no one could ever hope to forget, not that any would wish to.

<Johnny: And Sephiroth plays the drums. Coincidence?

She unpacked her flute and swung her backpack back onto her back, staggering slightly under the weight of the books now occupying it. Julia turned towards the back of the room, and, while waiting for Sephiroth, went to apologize for her tardiness.

<Raiden: How is this part important? STOP IT! T_T

"Mr. Loft?"

Mr. Loft was examining the Suit when Julia spoke. He looked up, startled. "Yes?"

"I wished to express my apologies for being late." She barely managed to control her flinch. "Will I need to attend you after school?"

<Rina: Did she just hit on him?

Honest surprise crossed his face. "As in: Detention? Goodness no. Many of my students coming from Professor Okokou are late. I hardly would punish anyone over that."

If possible, Julia looked even more surprised the music teacher. "I see. you sir."

<Raiden, as Julia: ... Are a moron!

Sephiroth joined her a moment later and they once again compared schedules. Sephiroth had lunch shift. So did Julia. "Not that I'd trust cafeteria food on the best of conditions." He muttered.

"Is it that bad?"

<Johnny, as Sephiroth: Well, today is Groundhog day. And so was yesterday. And so will be tomorrow. On the menu is 'Ground Hog'.

"Yes. Never eat anything that you can't immediately identify everything in it." He frowned. "I'm serious. Someone died last year. Autopsy said that it was from poisoning. The last thing that this unfortunate had eaten was the school "chicken". The stuff is noxious."

<Raiden: Stop. Talking.

<Johnny: Couldn't she just use her 'sense materia'?

<Rina: Huh?

<Johnny: From the last chapter. <_<

Her eyes grew wide. "You're kidding. Hmph. I guess cafeteria food never improves."

"No. I don't want that to happen to you, or anyone. It's becoming more frequent, but usually the scientists or doctors overpopulating Midgar can cure it. Death is still frequent, but, since Shinra is running Midgar, they won't close it down or improve it. It's ridiculous."

<Rina: Curing death IS ridiculous!

<Johnny: Not with a Phoenix Down.

<Raiden: Again, let's hope it's the perma-death cutscenes.

They left the band room and crossed the main hall with the stream of students to the Cafeteria, which outsized the Main hall by at least twice. Though only a few minutes since shift-change, it was already bustling with activity. Some of it was students, others of it was teachers trying to keep traffic moving. And 80% of it was Reno, throwing food. Both his, and everyone else's.

<Raiden: I want to rape this ficcer to death. T_T

<Johnny: <_< Woah. That's a little harsh.

<Raiden: With Riku's cock.

<Johnny: That's going too far!

<Rina: But she wouldn't feel much, right?

<Johnny: Worse. <_<

Bill looking proud of himself on the screen as he said, "Well? Are your little minds fried by that heaping pile of game nerd thought feces?"

Food is being flung all across the main chamber, from mashed potatoes to pizza to whole turkeys. Rina, laughing gleefully, replied, "We're doing great here, actually! I'm having a lot of fun!"

"... Maybe I should just quit this project." Muttered an annoyed Bill before he continued, "Fine! That obviously didn't get you, but wait for my next evil fic. It's a doozy! I promise!"

Not paying attention to him at all, the crew continued with their food fight. The view became more fixated on Johnny as a gun slowly moved into the shot. The view faded to black as a gunshot was heard, followed by Johnny's yell, "Ouchies!"

Hardcore Sniper - November 2, 2009 03:34 PM (GMT)
QUOTE
<Johnny, as Sephiroth: Well, today is Groundhog day


reign was right!

Da Notorious B.V.D. - November 2, 2009 08:03 PM (GMT)
No!!! Not the cliffhanger!! T_T

JIMSZ - November 3, 2009 12:34 AM (GMT)
<Raiden, yawning: Riveting dialogue. It's like reading one of The Mantis' promos.


XD

Da Notorious B.V.D. - November 10, 2009 06:40 PM (GMT)
Plz don't be dead. ;_;

Gamera - November 10, 2009 07:51 PM (GMT)
QUOTE (Da Notorious B.V.D. @ Nov 10 2009, 01:40 PM)
Plz don't be dead. ;_;

It isn't. But you've been readin' my promo's right? xD I'm just a little focused on something else for now. I'll continue this.




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