Have you been naughty or nice this year?

Remember, he's watching!

Myself, er, maybe I'll get some points for the asking for forgiveness letter...

Dear Santa,
Please forgive me for what I have done this year. I have done many bad things that I shouldn't have, especially toward the cats. Actually, I'm not sorry for most of it, I had great time doing those things. I just want to get stuff...

I think it needs some revision.

Lets get naughty. Lets get naughty naughty! Down 'N' Dirty! Oooo I like it that way!

Oh sorry about that 1980s flashback. Those happen to me sometimes. Too many music videos. The hairspray dear God the hairspray.

The best edit for your letter to Santa would be this:

Dear Santa,
I give great head.

That is guranteed to get you stuff.

P.S. Danger Danger kicks ass!

Dear Santa,


Actually, this will take some time.

If Santa were to answer his letters honestly


Deer Santa,
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. I'v ben a gud boy
all yeer.
Yer Friend,
Billy

Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How
about I send you a book so you can learn to read and spell? I'm giving
your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell.
Santa
*****************************************************
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for
is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa
****************************************************
Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for
my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love, Teddy

Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your
frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that
dream. Let me send you some Legos instead.
Santa
****************************************************
Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train, some G.I. Joes, a
dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love, Francis

Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays. I bet you're gay. I'll
set you up with a Barbie.
Santa
****************************************************
Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left
carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love, Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face
when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a
bottle of Scotch.
Santa

****************************************************
Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy
making toys?
Your friend, Thomas

Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas where I
spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by
drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses
while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.
Santa
****************************************************
Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're
awake, like in the song?
Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm
skipping your house.
Santa
****************************************************
Dear Santa,
I really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please, PLEASE,
PLEASE could I have one?
Love, Timmy

Dear Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap
doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again.
Santa

****************************************************
Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house. How do you get into our home?
Love, Marky

Dear Mark,
First stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting
your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you
live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad
just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.
Sweet dreams,
Santa

Lame. How about not copy pasting us spam your mom sends you next time.

If my mom were to send it, that would mean she would know how to work a computer.

You think my mom knows how to check her Email....LMAO
In what lifetime?

delicious copypasta? or rather lame? you decide.

Also, I have a friend named Francis. I don't think he's gay >_>

This copypasta is covered in shit sauce!

DEAR SANTA,

HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. RECENTLY, I WAS APPROACHED BY QUITE A LUSCIOUS LOOKING LADY PERSON. HER BINDING BUST FIGURE IMMEDIATLY FORCED MY TWITCHING GARGANTUAN MAN CANNON TO RAPIDLY EXPAND TO DIVINE ELEPHANTINE DIMENSIONS. THE LADY IN QUESTION, WHO'S BEAUTY WAS ONLY MATCHED BY THAT OF MY COLOSSAL DOWNSTAIRS DOWEL, WAS ASTOUNDED AND THUS PROCEEDED TO STARE INTENTLY AT MY INTENSIFYINGLY TITANIC LUST LOG OF INFINITE SEXUAL DESIRE AS IT OBLITERATED MY FINE UNDERWEAR AND TROUSERS CUNNINGLY CONSTRUCTED BY MY DIGNIFIED CHAIN OF RETAILERS. SHE WAS SO FLABBERGASTED AT THE SHEER SYMBOLIC SIZE AND MAGNITUDE OF THE MAGNIFICENT AND IMPRESSIVE ZIMMER BATON THAT I UNDRESSED HER FINE SKIRT AND UNDERWEAR GARMENTS WITH MY PSYCHOKINETIC EYES AND SLAMMED MY GIANT OMINOUS VEINY WHALE INTO THE CREVASSE OF HER ORIFICE AND DISCHARGED AN ARMY OF MINIATURE DAPPER ALBINO BOSNIANS TO COAT THE INSIDES OF HER ANAL CAVITY WITH ONLY THE FINEST SMELLING ZIMMER PROTEIN PACKED PENILE PRODUCE. ONCE I HAD FINISHED WITH THE PLEASANT PUPPYLIKE WHORE, I STAMPED MY NOW ALMOST-FLACCID STOPCOCK OF JOY AGAINST THE GROUND AND CHARGED INTO THE NIGHT SKY WITH THE ROCKET FUEL OF A THOUSAND GODS TO CONTINUE MY CRUSADES OF MEAT CLOBBERING. I GUARANTEE IT.

DEAR SANTA,

HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. RECENTLY, I WAS APPROACHED BY QUITE A LUSCIOUS LOOKING LADY PERSON. HER BINDING BUST FIGURE IMMEDIATLY FORCED MY TWITCHING GARGANTUAN MAN CANNON TO RAPIDLY EXPAND TO DIVINE ELEPHANTINE DIMENSIONS. THE LADY IN QUESTION, WHO'S BEAUTY WAS ONLY MATCHED BY THAT OF MY COLOSSAL DOWNSTAIRS DOWEL, WAS ASTOUNDED AND THUS PROCEEDED TO STARE INTENTLY AT MY INTENSIFYINGLY TITANIC LUST LOG OF INFINITE SEXUAL DESIRE AS IT OBLITERATED MY FINE UNDERWEAR AND TROUSERS CUNNINGLY CONSTRUCTED BY MY DIGNIFIED CHAIN OF RETAILERS. SHE WAS SO FLABBERGASTED AT THE SHEER SYMBOLIC SIZE AND MAGNITUDE OF THE MAGNIFICENT AND IMPRESSIVE ZIMMER BATON THAT my mom got scared, She said 'You're movin with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air!' I whistled for a cab and when it came near, The license plate said 'Fresh', And had dice in the mirror, If anything i could say that this cab was rare, But I thought 'Nah, forget it - Yo, homes to Bel-Air!'

New rule:
Treating my forums like it was 4chan is a bannable offence.

Revision,

Dear Santa,
I belong on the naughty list, but what I want for Christmas is something pure from the heart. I want world peace. I want it met under certain conditions. If they are not met within 24 hours after Christmas, I will storm the north pole and take Mrs. Claus hostage. Further delay with result in war on the North Pole. My demands are as follows: Hellsing be made rular of Iraq, and the following items left at my chimney place including V for Vendetta, socks...

I'm still working at it. x.x

Yuffie Santa would actually preffer for you to kill Mrs. Claus. Does nobody read the Clerks comics? Santas intern blew him and the Mrs. tossed him out. For a while he set up shop in an appartment between the Quickstop and RST Video Store. His current whereabouts are unknown.

Hence why I got shot.

Clerks?

You don't know about Clerks?! It is only like the best movie made during the 1990s. You know who Kevin Smith is right? Fat dude from Jersey makes movies. Well Clerks was his 1st film. He made it for 30,000 dollars which is cheap as far as movies go and its one of the funniest movies you can watch. I'm sure you have seen Dogma or Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back right? Maybe even Mallrats or Chasing Amy but they all suck in comparison to Clerks. Its not a hard movie to find for download and I think I've even seen it up at youtube. So by all means watch it I doubt you will be dissappointed.

Oi! Stop telling people to use YouTube to watch movies. Go out and buy the dang things. Or rent. Or get them from the local library. But stop pirating them! Unlike the recording industry, the movie industry actually pays the actors from those sales. Plus, it's a much shorter jump from stopping movie pirating to stopping fansubs then is comfortable for anyone.

I've seen Mallrats and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. None of the others yet. probably should; I loved Mallrats and J&SBSB was pretty funny too.

Seriously. Go rent Clerks from Blockbuster for a few bucks, pick up Clerks 2 while your at it, and if you HAVEN'T seen Dogma.... get that too XD

youtube is shitty anyway, seriously. The only stuff I watch on there is old ninties cartoons that haven't been released anywhere, and that's only if I get REALLY FREAKING BORED. And well.. random youtube stuff that isn't a show through any stretch of the imagination XD

Using Youtube to watch serious media chokes out sites with better quality pirated versions as well! YouTubing hurts both the legit media, as well as the pirating community!

I meant for youtube to be used as a last resort by the desperate and the cheap. Clerks is worth buying or at least renting. I can't speak for Clerks 2 though I haven't seen it yet.

...and more often than not, they aren't deserving of the money they've been paid. So piracy is the clear choice.

Oh, yeah.

I've pretty much seen Domga, though it's been a few years. Still, a great movie.

Though Clerks, that's going to have to wait until I'm out of the house. Picky mom...

I don't like using youtube, or really watching anything on the computer. It makes my eyes hurt...

@Smokie Clerks 2 is definately, definately worth it. I laughed as much, if not more, at that one than I did at the original.

Hear hear ;p

Yes Hollywood sucks so much. Everything they touch turns to crap with very few exceptions. What worries me the most is the Eva movie they want to make. No matter what they do it will suck.

If they ever make the Eva movie (they won't), I hope they do everything in their power to make it the worst they possibly can. They could start by casting a Duff sister or something.

I think that eventually Gainax will scrape up the cash and the backers it needs and whore Eva out in live action movie form. They were already working on it last I knew and they had a good portion of the money they needed. Its probably just a matter of time.

I don't know it might not so much suck as it won't make everybody happy. I think that a big problem is a decent screenplay which will be difficult but doable. The biggest problem of course is the casting. I mean Shinji not too big a problem. Gendo easy enough. Riku and Misato not too hard. Rei and Auska BIG problem. I mean they would just be such a major obstacle it would be a nightmare for the casting director. I can forsee dozens of problems coming up in trying to find actresses to portray Rei and Auska.

...shit, you're right Smokie, those would be hard casting calls. I guess they could do Rei's massive albino-ness with a hell of a lot of makeup, but for the characters themselves... shit. I can't think of any A-list stars that would be good playing them (not that there's many A-list fourteen-year-olds -.-)

Shoot. Damn. Now I'm going to be thinking about this all night!

It's not a matter of money when it comes to Eva. It's been a cash cow from the start, and has done nothing but bring in a steady stream of money. Plus Gainax has come out financially on top with all their newer, fairly mediocre shows.

Right now the Gainax staff are focused on working on their four new animated eva movies. I don't think they were the ones behind the live action one anyhow. I beleive that was a western endevour.

They couldn't use 14 year olds. 16 and up would be definate. I mean Rei and Auska are sex symbols, underaged but sex symbols. This is going to sound really perverted but there are no 14 year olds hot enough, yet it would defeat the purpose if we had older actresses portraying them that could just as easily play Mitsato or Ritsuko. Told you it would sound perverted.

Plus Mike while Eva was sucessful and Gainax continues to milk it for all they can. Money is indeed a large part of the live action process. I mean the special effects, the computer gen, the models. It will be very expensive. They will have to sink a ton of cash into it for a movie that will probably fail. Also I don't think its entirely western in origin.

Question. Why doesn't Gainax do more with other things besides Eva? I mean I would like to see them do more with FLCL and I don't thinks its entirely out of the question. Although a large part of me fears it would end up like Dragonball GT.

1) That Dakota Fanning girl is pretty hot. The Olsen twins were pretty hot. I think Rei would work better young (after all, she's only 10!), since that would make the shy thing more beleivable on the silver screen. As for Asuka, look at Natalie Portman in the Professional. She was young, but that's crucial to Asuka's character of the sexually charged, full of herself, completely immature teenage girl who is out of control. There are millions of 13-16 year olds like Asuka in America, and I think that if done right her character could strike a chord with a lot of us, as being "That girl" (or for some women, a reminder of their wild youth).

Don't forget that adolescent sexual development is a big part of Eva too, so it works better to use younger kids. It will have more impact that way too. Don't forget, Misato's last words to Shinji were "That's a grown-up kiss, I'll show you the rest later"

2) Gainax is not involved in production. They appear to be being consulted about the story and such, but for all intents and purposes they just sold the rights to make the film. Considering Tiffany Grant and Matt Greenfield are the exec producers, I think it's safe to say it's a western venture, spearheaded by ADV's fledgling film division. Again, Gainax is not investing any money, is making some off the deal, and if it sucks can deny any responsibility/ involvement.

3) Gainax DOES. FLCL has had a huge merchandise campeign. It is also seeing a special edition DVD release.
Gunbuster was given a sequel this year, which was awesome I might add, as well as a theatrical re-release in Japan. It also had an uber-special edition DVD release, which we'll be seeing stateside this February. Gunbuster characters and mecha have also appeared in a number of video games recently, and in the last few years there has been a new (possibly two new) Nadia games, and at least one mass Gainax game incorperating characters from most of their shows. Last but not least, they have started spreading a new rumor about Aoi Ura, the long awaited theatrical sequel to Wings of the Honneamise.

Kare Kano they don't really have rights to anymore, and were stopped in their production of, so they didn't even get to finish the series they started, so that's a good excuse not to have any new material. Everything else is too new to have new stuff to (and FLCL is only a few years old itself, I might add). So I'm thinking Gainax is milking all their projects about as well as they can be (especially since they don't technically have any rights to Nadia)

Eva is getting more movies because it's 10 years old, and still (in the eyes of many fans) not a complete story. There are a lot of angles that could still be followed up on, characters to be further developed, and a lot of issues raised by fans after the movies that some directors might feel need addressing.
I've heard a lot of kids talking about wanting a sequel to FLCL, and as a hardcore FLCL fan, I have to ask "Why?", and then "How?". There is no space in the story to squeeze more in. Haruko shows up, turns Naota's life upside down, and leaves again in persuit of Atomsk. The characters from Mabase aren't interesting on their own. There is a 2 month (or so) gap in the story where Haruko wanders off (to "Hawaii") which they only refer to since watching them would be dull as hell! How boring Mabase is is a major plot point! It doesn't make sense for Haruko to come back after Atomsk leaves, or for Atomsk to get trapped inside of Ta-kun again. The only way you could do a sequel would be to go back and show what happened when Haruko tried to use Amarao as the NO gate to capture Atomsk, and that would be just a remake of the show, since we're led to assume that she treats Naota just the same as she treated Armarao, the only difference being bigger and more interesting things can come out of Naota's head!

Agreed.

Even off screen, there are definitely very sexy 14 year olds.

And I think the fact that they are young teenagers is important to their character and role. They fact they're young and the personalities they have add to a sexyiness factor that would lost if they were played by an older person, that could not be replaced.

Wait, wait, wait, hold the damn phone...since when does Rei give even the remotest impression of shyness? More, since when does she give off any indication of having emotion at all? (Shiji's idealized universe from episode 25 doesn't count)

Mike my idea of a continued FLCL was something along the lines of Haruko coming back to Mabase and picking up a high school age Naota to go on a galaxy spanning adventure.

I was not talking about all of the merch.

That would be dumber than hell. Seriously, I'll save Mike the effort of even typing on this.

Come on Wyatt it would be like Star Wars on LSD.

Yeah I know its not that good of an idea and its probably for the best FLCL is completed as it is but part of me still wishes we would get to see them do something more with it. Chances are it would be crap though and that it would ruin FLCL. Well not ruin but be an embaressment.

I suppose Natalie Portman could make a decent Auska. Strangely for Gendo I would almost like to see Robin Williams play him. I mean hes an Eva fan, he can play pretty good serious roles, and with makeup and shit he would not look entirely unlike Gendo.

Shy is kind of how I would see a live action adaptation go, not saying it's right. When real actors go quiet they seem either like they are trying to be gothy, or stuck up.
An advantage animation has is that it's visually detached from our real world experiences, so you can have a wider array of things, from environmental (giant robots and 15 foot vertical leaps), to characters (absolute stoics, devoid female teenagers, etc.) that doesn't jar the viewers willings suspension of disbelief. In Live action, you can't really do that. High jumps look akward and fake, even if the physics works. Likewise, the viewer needs to be able to identify more with the characters. They need to be someone the viewer has known before. Take Napoleon Dynamite for example. That movie was outragiously popular while having no real content, largely because all of the characters were so well written and portrayed. We all knew EVERY character in that movie personally, and have probably been one or two of them ourselves at various points in time.


Smokie: That would suck! Plus she wouldn't do it, she has no feelings for Naota and was just using him. Plus he was more adapted at the end of the series, and had grown as a character to the point where he was way less concerned about his image, so he wouldn't have enough foolycooly angst to channel NO like he had been able to, so he'd be useless!

Its been a while since I saw FLCL but I don't recall anything about Naota's ability to channel NO or his ability to merge with Canti being changed in any way. I suppose that his NO might not be able to be utilized without Haruko hitting him in the head with her base.

I would like to note that I thought Napoleon Dynamite was one of the stupidest movies ever fucking created. I hated it. Hated it with a passion ^^.

And Smokie.... Natalie Portman? You serious? She's 26 years old. She may have been able to pass as a fourteen year old in Star Wars ep 1, but that was almost eight years ago. Asuka is NOT, and honestly, I'm freaking fed up with actors in their twenties playing kids in their early teens. It just doesn't work and looks fake. Fuck, I'd jump for joy if they just went and did bloody auditions for the kids; It worked for Harry Potter!

...I could maybe see Robin Williams as Gendo. Maybe. I dunno, Robin Williams playing him just doesn't really seem right to me, but that could be personal taste *shrugs*

Yeah, I agree, Robin Williams could make a pretty wicked Gendo.

Naota can do neither! Watch the fucking show! Atomsk is gone, and he LEFT THE FUCKING PLANET! When Naota climbed out of Red-Kanti he had all of Atomsk contained within him, for all intents and purposes he WAS Atomsk. Then when Naota confessed his love to Haruko, and was just used by her, his angst grew to such a level that he could channel enough NO for Atomsk to leave through the NO channel. And so he did... and he's gone, and Naota will never be Atomsk again!

In case you never figured it out, your ability to channel NO is derived from how FLCL you are. Your Fooly Coolyness is just that, the foolish cool attitude that adolescents put on to try and be more adult. In short, it's teen angst, and Naota was full of it. He was way too concerned about how others thought of him, and whenever he got stressed out about it his channel would open wide enough for a robot to escape (after Haruko opened the channel in his head). In episode 3, Ninamori had more FLCL than Naota, because she wanted to look like an adult in front of everyone, and especailly her parents, so her channel was bigger (and was opened when Naota collided with her) so the robot came out of her.

In the end of the series, Naota better accepts his limitations, and that he's just a kid. Because of that, while he may still be able to channel some NO (like Amarao) he probably can't channel a lot.

Also, I just remembered. There IS more FLCL, they released an alternate story Manga.