You see it starts at school. I feel like no one wants me around them. I'm cheerful and all, not emotional all the time, but they always make me feel like I am not wanted anywhere. I'm not pretty, I'm not skinny, but I'm smart, tall, cheerful, and ...need anger management.. but people think I'm not good enough to have friends or family, this summer I'm getting my hair died, my ears pierced, and my birthmark removed from my face. I hope I'll be better by the time I make it into 8th grade. Only half a year left until my 14th birthday and another year of being a year behind. 3/4ths of a year and 8th grade starts. I have the whole summer to prepare. I will never be pretty. My name will always stay the same. Alyson Jean Flick. Don't make fun of it or I'll blast your head in with a bazooka. I am not wanted anywhere, the only place I am wanted is home, I can't go out in public because I look horrible, I can't control my anger, and no I do not freak out if someone calls me short because I know that I'm not short, I'm tall. 5'7". I only get mad if they insult me of anything else that does not relate to height. I've always wanted to be pretty, blonde, and everything else but that won't happen. Ever. I'm always negative about myself, that I let people walk all over me with insults, I can't stop them they just keep coming. They think they're so d*** perfect, have they even seen the mirror lately? And they're calling ME ugly. People drive me nuts at school. They think Kali and Chris are the only two friends I have .. But they're wrong I have friends.. And lots of them. Most of them are you guys and some are from my school and from my town, and other people on the internet.
People think I'm stupid but I'm not, I help suicide-bent people get it through their thick skulls that they have people who love them. If someone told me that I'd laugh then I'd cry. The only thing people possibly like is the way my drawing skill has increased. I can draw better now but don't expect me to rip them out of my notebook and scan them. They're way better than the last ones I put up. I wrote a fan fiction that I put in the Fan fictions and Literature forum (I think >_>) The title "Elisa..." It's about a girl named Elisa who doesn't have any parents but is staying with 2 people, Kim and Bob, and they are taking care of her, and then Edward appears in the story then he has to go back to the other side of the gate and destroy it, Elisa watches in amazement as Al follows but then cries into Mustang, a few years later she sends herself across the gate and falls into Edward, Then ......You have to read it because I'm not summarizing it anymore.
Anyway.... People hate me because they don't know me, I'm a good writer, a good artist, And they don't understand that we're all human. I know I sound complainy, but i'm on the brink of insanity. My principal is about to send me off to a insane asylum. And I also can't understand one thing. Why are the 'special' kids segregated from the normal kids? My best friend Kali has ADD and ADHD and they treat her like she's retarded. No she is not. And they make her go to special Education classes. what the hell's up with that? I have ADD and they're not sending me to any special classes! they're mixing Kali with the actual kids that have problems, I find that very rude. And that retarded helper! She is so mean to everyone! I mean come on! what special helper grabs a girl's wrist (my wrist) and ends up breaking it?! I mean she practically follows me around and I don't even need her assistance! I really hate that woman and I am going to report her for snatching and spraining! Gah! I wanna get that bitch fired! Also, she yells at me and Kali for no reason!
In science today, we had a seat switch. I had to sit by someone who always annoyed me and was always mean to me. I hate that so much. I just want to sit by Kali. not Kyle. I hate Kyle, he treats me like a complete nobody. My grades are dropping, it's almost a new quarter, My life sucks, I just feel like I'm somebody no body cares about. I don't mean to sound so annoying but... I just want someone to talk to about my problems ...I need help...and not one of those dumb councilors...they don't help
i have the exact same problem at skool.. since i have adhd.. people think i'm crazy.. and also since last year i kept acting lik this crazy suicidal retart.. because this b**** ruined my life. but lik yea i knoe exactly how u feel since people call me ugly (especially my mom, nd brother.. i hate them) but lik yea.. at skool i only have one good friend (melissa) and these other people who i talk to (but i dont trust them). but lik yea my teacher hates me because i always talk to loud in class.. but it isnt my fault that i hav to talk over the class to tell melissa something. seriously she takes the prep peoples side.... but like yea i knoe exactly how u fell...:D because i knoe 4 a fact i am definetly unwanted at my skool...
Look...this is just a part of life. And, guess what? All those people that don't like you? They will be behind you some day, begging for cash. Cheer up, and don't feel bad just because some idiots make you miserable. Nothing destructive ever lasts, because it ultimately destroys itself. Get through this. Not every guy thinks about how you look, and not every friend will want you to match some weirdo criteria of beauty (that changes every ten years, anyway). Not all people are hateful, and family is not always by blood. It is by love. Go out into the world, and do some good for it, and quit sitting around, moaning that the world doesn't like you. You think any of your *idols* would sit around and cry? Get up, dust off, and keep fighting!
Kin out.
thankx guys. Now they're my friends but as for my teachers...they hate me, 'specially my social studies teacher, who has a toy lightsaber and might want to kill me. I don't get teased as often because....I kicked someone's butt for calling me a fatass..
lmao wow my teacher hates me too, and glad ur doing better at skool :D lol and i think u did the right thing caz if someone called me that i would of done the same thing.. i think.. well idk..i'm weird