Conqueror of shambala: Remake.



"This is the element of surprise we have been working on! Its a powerful element i invented called 'uranium'!" The Bomb alchemist Explained. "No. there is no need for such a powerful weapon in amestris." Alphonse Elric Insisted. "Are you scared, fullmetal alchemist?" The Bomb Alchemist SNOBBED, "If you value your life, take me to amestris!" He continued on as he came closer to alphonse with his machine-thingies. "NOW I CAN FULLFILL MY DREAMS!" He screeched. "Your Dreams?" Edward Elric thought to himself while in hiding. "Show me your body... Fullmetal Alchemist!" The Bomb alchemist screeched as he drilled a hole in alphonse's hallow armour. "Stop!" Edward Elric screamed. "Brother, you are late! I have a hole in my body!" Alphonse cried. "sorry, sorry!" Edward Replied. "Who are you?!" the bomb alchemist cried. "I am Edward Elric. and the state alchemist you were looking for.... is me! the only reason we came to see your so called 'uranium' is because you were so persistent!" Edward Explained. The bomb alchemist got mad at Edward's snobfest, so he took out his machine-thingies again. "RAAWWWR!" The bomb alchemist screeched. Edward stopped his machine thingie with his automail. "Automail..." the bomb alchemist suddenly figured that out because before he was too stupid to figure it out.
Edward transmuted a bird-like thingie full of water. "Hey. get a grip, take a drink, and get ready for this funny turbulance!" Edward Cried and Laughed as he turned the faucet and gallons of water gave the smelly bomb alchemist a shower because he was too Flipped to take a shower in 30 years. Edward then transmuted the gate because he thought the bomb alchemist would marry the gate. "its just like that day when we transmuted our mother and I lost my body." alphonse said when He and His brother got out of the clearing. "Lets go." Edward Quickly Squeaked. "What??!" Alphonse cried. "I blew up a bunch of places because I didnt like it, SO, LETS GO!" Edward Snobbily Squealed. "But... my soul is attached to this armour with blood! water will break the seal!" Alphonse cried. "I'll take care of it!" Edward Screamed. Then, the castle blew up.
"WHY WOULD YOU DESTROY THE CASTLE?!" Alphonse cried. "AS I SAID, I DIDNT LIKE IT!" Edward Replied as they stayed on a piece of metal from the castle in the middle of the atlantic ocean. "Let me borrow your head.." edward greedily said as he took alphonse's head and tried to keep abouve water. "BROTHER! GIVE IT BACK!" Alphonse screeched.

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Alphonse Heidreich laughed. "and thats how the national state alchemist got its name!" Edward Explained. "man, your stories are always like this!" Alphonse said. "youre saying i made it all up?!" edward persisted. "Oh come on, alchemy being more useful than a steam shovel? alchemy appeared and deteriated in a day here!" Alphonse explained. "Oh, but thats only in this world!" Edward Screamed, as he lost control of the car. "AAHHHHH!!!!" they both screamed as the car skidded into a ditch. "Hey! Hey!" Edward Screamed to a truck full of gypsies. "carnival?" the man asked Edward and Alphonse. "Yea." Edward Replied. "well, hop in!" the man said. "Hey, who is she?" alphonse said pointing to a girl with a hood over her head. "thats noah! shes a fortune teller. she can tell you things that you dont want people to know to the point where it is scary!" Harinah said. "Ooh.. i want her to try me!" alphonse insisted. "Dont believe such science fiction!" Edward reluctantly persisted. Noah put her hand on Edward shoulder. "Ahh..! your the same. you dont have a home town!" Noah explained to edward. Edward looked at Noah with a bewildered and Frightened face.
"I see it! the carnival!" The man said.
"ahh, noah! long time no see!" Heshoy greeted noah "I see. you sold me." Noah said. then, a man who looked to be six feet tall walked in the door. "Noah." he said as he put his hand on noah's chin. "ahh!" Noah gasped, and ran out the door.
"wherever i go, i cannot escape from this place." Edward Told himself while laying in the jeep. Noah ran past him and hid under the sheet. "Shouldnt play under there. it has fuel in it." Edward warned, then he saw who it was. "There she is!" the 6 foot man yelled. "Ahgh!" Noah screamed, "Ed-kun!" "HEY, STOP IT! THIS IS A CARNIVAL!" Edward Yelled at the 6 foot man as he ran towards him. Edward grabbed the 6 foot man's arm because he thought it was ugly and he broke it with his automail because he loved doing that in his snobby way. Edward Grabbed Noah and ran for his life. "Noah, where is your house?!" Edward Screeched. "I have no such place!" Noah replied.
The Next day, Ed decided he needed to go to school.
"Hey noah.. I'm gonna go to school and start with an appropriate grade.. which one do you think i should attend?" Ed asked, hopeful.
"Have you thought of.. college at all, Edward?" Noah asked, having a weird look on her face.
"...Yeah, but the only one open is the Thule organization where my dumbass father works." Edward laughed.
"Just go there anyway.. youre father probably loves you but doesn't know you hate his guts!" Noah explained.
"Ok, FINE." Ed said, as he stormed off to college.
~2 weeks later~
"SCHOOL KILLS...." Ed complained, while Mr. W was watching him.
"I'd hate to see you die from doing homework, Mr. Elric." Mr. W cackled, as he gave Ed more homework.
"You *******.." Ed mumbled.
"What was that, Mr. Elric?" Mr. W asked.
"I said 'Chu gasta xD'" Ed snobbed.
"Ha. What's chu gasta?" Mr. W Asked.
"Something me and my brother....made up." Ed made up, trying to keep the laugh in.
"Smile if you're lying!!" Mr. W laughed, as Ed smiled.

<Sorry for the random parts that don't....fit in xD>

Edward walked through the dim streets of Munich, and without watching where he was goin he bumped into someone.
"awwwoh." Ed mumbled, looking up at the tall person, "O.O...who are you?"
"...Harly hartwell.." the boy smiled.
"O.O....ok..." Ed replied, getting up and walking past harly
Ed bumped into someone else.
"Gaaaah... don't tell me.. Jimmy Kudo?" Ed sighed with a snobby smirk on his face.
"....how'd you know that?" Jimmy asked, laughing like a hyena.
"....because i just ran into Harly hartwell. and ... you and harly don't even EXIST in Fullmetal Alchemist conqueror of shambala." Ed snobbed, knocking Jimmy over.

Ed arrived back at Alfonse's place late.
"sorry.. bumped into two detectives that didn't really belong in the story.." Ed sighed, walking past alfonse.
"I got a call from you're girlfriend.. d*** i could hear that girl from a mile away." Alfonse laughed.
"Winry? oh yeah..." Ed smirked, taking out his cellphone.
"****! I GRABBED WINRY'S BEFORE I CROSSED OVER HERE!!!!!!" Ed exclaimed, as he saw the cellphone was pink.
"Ooooh... pwned." Alfonse laughed.

"I gotta go somewherez..." Ed sighed, takin off for some kind of destination tha ti can't explain.
~........when he actually got there.~
"DEWD! transmutation circle!" Ed explained with a snobby feature of a voice, as he finished the circle and put his hands on it, "OH ****! NUUUUUU! O.O ALCHEMY! W00 H00!"
"...Elric, you okay?" Betrude asked, walking in.
"Uhhhhm...." Ed replied, rather unintellegently.
some guy named heshoy walked in and smacked Ed across the face for being a retard.
and some armour thingies fell from the sky.

Ed jumped in the armour because he was obviously bored, and then he stumbled upon his brother.
"Nii-san... you're a dork! and when did you get so tall?!" Al exclaimed, standing up.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M A DORK?! AND ALSO...WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'WHEN DID YOU GET SO TALL'??!" Ed exclaimed, as Al started hugging him like he had just died or something, "OW! OW OW OW OW OW!"
"sorry Ed.. just got caught up in the act.." Al sighed, putting Ed down.

....part 2 of the idiocy will continue later if i even get a responce.

Hmmm.. I started skiming because I thought it was just the movie put into text, and you just HAD to go and change it on me then, didn't you? ^^; Anyways, write more - go on, stop cracking the fourth wall and just shatter it. It'll be funny.

(yay! thanks!)
All of a sudden, Al's armour blew up.
"What the.." Ed thought to himself, as he poked betrude.
"..don't poke me, poke heshoy or something." Betrude rolled her eyes.
"uhhhm.. but you're hair's funny, i wanna poke it." Ed laughed, still poking her.

"IT'S DONUT TIME!" Betrude and heshoy exclaimed, taking out random donuts and shoving them into Ed's mouth.
"You!" Ed exclaimed between donuty goodness.
heshoy started to laugh and run around and eventually ran into a wall.
"...is he on something?" ed asked.
"yep. stupidity." Betrude replied, as envy bursted into the building.

"Where the ... did you come from?!" Ed exclaimed, looking at a dinosaur thingy that lookes like a snake with a hohenheim of light in his mouth.
"RAWWR!" Envy screamed, taking the donuts and accidentally killing hohenheim.
"....that was so unexpected." Ed laughed, clapping.
"Why are you clapping? i just killed you're dad and ate you're donuts." Envy growled with a smile.
"because 1. i hate my dad, 2. those were betrudes." Ed cackled, running out of the room with a piece of cake in his hand.
"...." was everyone's responce.
"MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAAHHAHAH!" Ed cackled, getting into a random rocket, when it took off .. "W00 H00!"
a few minutes later, Ed crashed into some building and his head almost exploded, and winry hugged him and almost made him stop breathing, and Al annoyed him half to death with the fact that betrude started the war of donuts and cookies in central.
"....This is weird." Aly rolled her eyes, walking into the story.
"hey, what are you doin' here? you're supposed to be writing the story!" Ed exclaimed, as Al was chased away by evil mutant cookies.
"well, that was weird. now back to narrating the story." Aly laughed, walking out of the picture.
"Bye bye!" Mustang exclaimed, as he took off in ... a hot air.. balloon thingy..
"What a doofus... a sexy doofus." Riza said outloud, as havoc, breta, and everyone else looked at her.
"What? he is!" Riza laughed, grabbing onto the balloon.
"WTF?!" Mustang exclaimed as riza got in.
"...this is.. really....awkward." havoc muttered, as Vitani walked into the picture.
"hey havoc. you can say that again." Vitani laughed.
"Vitani! you're supposed to be in risembool with Mew!" Havoc exclaimed.
(Sorry.. this part of the story is.. awkward.. i'm taking parts from my forum's RPG!! XD)
"sorry, couldn't resist you're cuteness." Vitani laughed, walking back out of the picture.
Havoc's face went cherry red as Vitani kissed him before leaving the picture.
"that was awesome." Havoc muttered, passing out.
"...." was everyone's responce.
"WHY THE HECK ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE WALKING INTO THE PICTURE?!" Winry exclaimed, dragging Ed to the train station.
"Nuuuu~" Ed exclaimed, as he got away by transmuting a giant mutant cookie and floating on it, thus.. killing allthe other cookies on accident, and also.. my computer cookies... which was kind of random. :lol:
"The war of cookies and... uhhhm... what was the other thing?" Ed asked.
"I unno." havoc shrugged, as he shot an already dead cookie.
"...dude. i think that was betrude." Ed laughed, high fiving havoc.
"O.O.. Nice." Havoc replied, as his hand went red.
"xD sorry." Ed laughed, as they all got on the train to risembool, as well as havoc and noone else, and who knows what happened to mustang?! and who cares right now.. i'll tell the mustang part later.

MUSTANG PART!
as mustang floated through the sky, he failed to notice the pikachu ready to blast him and he forgot to notice the tree.
"PIIIII...KAAAAA....CHUUUUUUUU!" Pikachu exclaimed, shocking mustang as he ran into the tree of his doom, his coat got stuck on a few branches and his boxers got stuck on another branch, thus, giving him a wedgie.

Oh yeah i post the rest of the flippin' story and it seems everyone over runs my topics and responces. :(

Wow... so... random.... @_@ I'm somewhere between amusement, bewilderment, and -blink- Huh?-ness... xD

^^ I laughed my butt off when adding the Mustang part