Okay, here's a really dumb story that I wrote one afternoon when I was bored... (It just goes to show you how dangerous the mind can be when boredom strikes. ;)) It's a Royai fic- the first one I've ever written, so warning: It's terrible. I've never written romance, so I kinda took a bit of a shot in the dark- (I don't even really like romance, but then again, my mind has been known to come up with strange things from time to time.) So anyway, here it is. (Warning: Some mild cursing and alcohol usage, just in case anyone cares. :P)
It was evening, and the annual Military Dance Social was in full swing. Jean Havoc had taken his customary position just beside the doors, the only place in the building in which he was permitted to smoke. Breda stood next to him, and the two were intently engaged in a plot to spike the punch. 2nd Lieutenant Maria Ross was dancing with Falman, but seemed to shoot a glance toward the two comrades every now and then, as well as a glance toward the punch bowl. It was painfully obvious as to what they were talking about.
Across the room, Riza Hawkeye was dancing with Fury, whose face appeared to be oddly red, even in the bluish glow of the lights. Havoc and Breda occasionally broke off their hushed conversation to laugh at his obvious embarrassment.
The only people who weren’t participating in the “festivities” were Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes and Colonel Roy Mustang, who were sitting at the stools at the bar that served as a refreshment table. Maes was talking animatedly and gesturing rather wildly, as well as brandishing a photo of his family at intermittent times.
“So, what do you think Roy, would she look cuter with her hair in pigtails or a ponytail?” Maes asked his friend.
Roy Mustang had propped his elbow on the counter and was resting his head on it, a glazed look in his eyes. It had become second nature to him to ignore Maes when he went on one of his tangents. “Yeah, sure,” he muttered in response.
Hughes was visibly annoyed. “Hey, you aren’t paying attention at all, are you?”
Roy didn’t respond. Instead, he stared at the countertop as though it were the most interesting thing he had ever seen. “What?”
Hughes sighed in exasperation. “Forget it. I can see that it’s useless talking to you when you’re in this kind of mood.” He spun his stool around, then leaned backwards against the edge of the counter and stretched his legs out across the floor in front of him. He yawned.
The song that had been playing came to an end, and Roy allowed himself to smirk as he saw Fury walking away from Lieutenant Hawkeye, a dazed look and a blush on his face.
Hughes followed Roy’s gaze and laughed at the scene. “He’s just like a little kid sometimes.” Fury even looked to be a child, with his short thin stature and his small, bespectacled face.
Havoc and Breda had produced a bottle of liquor out of thin air, and were orchestrating a pathetic attempt to conceal it as they crept over to the punch bowl. Breda had uncorked it and was prepared to pour it into the juice, but was stopped by the 1st Lieutenant as she swiped the bottle from his hands and gave them a glare.
Hughes laughed uproariously. “Boy, if looks could kill...” He looked over at Roy to see his reaction. He frowned at the Colonel’s indifferent expression. “Come on, Roy, why did you even come if you’re just going to sit here and mope the whole time?”
“To make sure that you don’t do anything stupid,” Roy said in a bored tone.
Seeing an opportunity for conversation, Maes leaned forward and spoke again. “What are you talking about? I never do anything stupid-“
“Remember the Barbeque last month?” Roy interrupted him.
“Yeah-“Maes looked up at the ceiling, suddenly eager to change the subject. “You know, the funniest thing happened to me yesterday-“
Roy turned to face his friend. “Oh no, you’re not getting away that easily.” A sly grin made its way onto his face.
Maes face turned red. “Please Roy, you don’t need to remind me, I’ve been trying to forget about that.”
Roy ignored Maes’ plea. “Let’s see if I remember this correctly,” he began. He wasn’t able to keep himself from laughing. “First, you feel on top of me during the sack race-“
“Hey, I tripped, it wasn’t my fault,” Maes argued. “But geez, why don’t you just go ahead and hold it against me for the rest of my life,” he said sarcastically, throwing his hands up in the air.
“I wasn’t done,” Roy continued. “After that, you threw up all over me when you ate too many pies during the pie eating contest.”
“At least I wasn’t too much of a wimp to compete,” Maes shot back.
“And then Havoc interpreted that as an excuse to spray me with a hose,” Roy grumbled.
Hughes grinned widely at the memory. “You needed it anyway.”
Roy raised his eyebrows. “Oh, and I almost forgot- who was it that ran into the Women’s room and threw up all over the floor?”
“Touché, touché,” Maes conceded, his face turning slightly red.
There was silence for a moment as Hughes observed Havoc and Breda sulking in the corner, rubbing bruises on their faces. He glanced over at Roy, whose cheerful disposition had evaporated as suddenly as it had appeared, and who had returned to staring glumly at the other people dancing.
Letting his gaze roam the crowd, Roy’s eyes came to rest on his Lieutenant. She was dancing with a young soldier he had never seen before, and he kept talking to her- ‘Probably trying to get her to go out with him,’ Roy thought. ‘as if that would work on her.’ He couldn’t help thinking that she looked very pretty in her dress- ‘And with her hair down,’ Roy noticed.
Hughes noticed the look on Roy’s face and realized who he was looking at. Maes opened his mouth to say something, but thought against it when he saw the wistful expression that had come over Roy. He settled for watching his friend and wondering what he was thinking.
The man who had been dancing with Riza gave up his attempts to win her over and walked away at the end of the song. She was immediately asked to dance by another male.
After a moment of deep thought, Hughes asked softly, “Why don’t you go ask her to dance?”
Roy whirled around, his previous concentration broken. “Wh-what- I- you- what are you talking-“ he sputtered.
Hughes leaned back, a satisfied grin on his face.
“Don’t look so smug,” Roy growled.
Maes simply proceeded to irritate him more by tilting his head back and grinning wider. “You know you want to.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Roy said loudly, “She’s my Lieutenant!”
“And? Come on, Roy,” Maes said, seriously now. “I’m not joking around. I know that you’ve had your eye on her for years.”
Roy chuckled, then looked nonchalantly toward the counter in a futile effort to conceal his embarrassment. “You really like to imagine things, don’t you Maes?”
“Is that so?” Maes said. “Then how come you’re blushing?” he declared in triumph.
For a moment, Roy was dumbfounded. ‘How did he-‘
Standing up, Maes gave one last laugh of victory at Roy’s astonished face. “If you ever feel man enough to admit it, you know who to ask for.” With that, he left a humiliated and rather flustered Roy behind at the bar.
As Hughes got up, Roy’s voice finally returned to him. “HUGHES!!!” he bellowed. He clenched his hands into fists.
Hughes let out one last annoying laugh and continued to saunter over to where Falman was taunting Havoc and Breda for their latest thwarting at the hands of the Lieutenant.
“Damn that man,” Roy muttered angrily. “Why do I put up with him?” His anger subsided, and now all he felt was ashamed for having let Maes get to him. ‘Why does he always have to be right?’ Roy thought to himself. He looked over at Riza again, and couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy as Hughes asked her to dance and was cheerfully accepted. ‘He did that on purpose,’ Roy thought, forcing himself to look away. He slouched over the counter, his hand supporting his chin as he propped his elbow up on the bar. ‘What are the odds that out of all the women in this world, she’s the one that I can’t win over like the others?’ With other women, he just pulled out his cool and suave attitude, and they were all over him like- annoyingness on Hughes.
Roy laughed at this analogy.
But whenever he tried to tell Riza how he felt about her- he felt all awkward and uncertain of himself. ‘Not to mention scared out of my mind that she’ll pull out a gun and shoot me,’ Roy thought glumly.
He lost track of time as he sat there, staring into space. But he was awakened from his trance by somebody shaking his shoulder.
“Roy! Earth to Roy!”
Roy groaned as he recognized the voice as that of Hughes.
“Is anybody home?” Maes asked, sticking his face into Roy’s line of vision.
“Go away,” Roy said moodily, pushing Hughes’ face away.
“Come on,” Maes said excitedly. Something in his voice gave Roy a pang of fear.
“Oh God, what did you do now-“Roy began.
Maes roughly hooked his arms under Roy’s and dragged him unceremoniously off of his stool.
“HEY!”
“Do I have to drag you, Roy?” Maes said, grinning as though eager to try just that.
“NO!” Roy yelled, kicking Hughes in the shin. “Just let go!”
Maes reluctantly let go, and Roy jumped to his feet, brushing himself off. “WHAT IN THE HELL-“
“Shh,” Hughes said. “How else was I supposed to get your attention? Just listen to me, okay?”
Roy decided to hear Maes out before he berated him.
“Okay, it’s like this,” Hughes said hesitantly. “Well, you see, I just couldn’t stand to see you sitting all by yourself, all sad and all.” He stopped, as though afraid to continue.
“And?” Roy asked, his eyes flashing dangerously.
“Give me your gloves,” Maes said suddenly.
“What?”
“Just give them to me,” Maes insisted. “I don’t trust you with them while I’m telling you this.”
“I’ll try not to burn you,” Roy said, “just tell what it is that’s so important that you had to drag me across the floor.”
Hughes put his hand behind his head and scratched it. “Well, uh…“ He sweat dropped.
“Will you spit it out, Hughes?!” Roy said, pulling out his alchemy gloves.
“Ahh! Okay, okay, just put them away!” Hughes shrieked. “I kinda- well- told Hawkeye that- that you wanted to dance with her.”
For a moment, Roy looked mortified. Then he closed his eyes, and his entire body started shaking. He looked like he was about to explode.
Hughes could have sworn that he saw a vein popping out on his forehead.
“Now look, Roy, let’s not cause a scene-“Hughes insisted. “She’s over there waiting for you.
Roy gave him a death glare. “When this is over,” he said quietly, in a surprisingly calm voice, “I am going to make you eat each and every one of your photos.” With that, he stalked coldly past Hughes.
Maes grimaced at the thought of devouring all of those thousands of pictures. “It was so worth it though,” he said, chuckling to himself. “He’ll thank me later.”
Roy spotted Riza standing out in the middle of the dance floor, looking in various directions for him.
For a moment, Roy wondered if it wasn’t too late to make a dash for the bathroom and hide out in there until this whole thing had been forgotten. But then, right when he was debating whether or not he could hide behind Armstrong’s hulking figure en route to the restroom, Riza turned and saw him.
Roy sighed. ‘Oh well, I’ve lived a nice life,’ he thought to himself. Forcing himself to look down at the floor so as to conceal his terror, he began to walk toward the Lieutenant.
Once he had reached her, Roy looked up. He took a deep breath, his mind racing, trying to figure out what to say. “Would you- uh-“
Riza sensed his obvious embarrassment and interrupted him. “Of course I will, sir,” she said. She took hold of his hands just as the song began.
‘Oh Lord, no,’ Roy thought to himself, ‘it’s a slow song- why me?’ For a moment he was silent.
“You’re supposed to move your feet now, sir,” Riza said, breaking into his self pity.
“Hmm?” Roy looked up questioningly. “Oh, right-“he laughed nervously. He looked down at his feet, then began moving them in accordance to the rhythm of the song. “Lieuten- I mean, Riza- you don’t have to address me so formally. We’re not on duty, after all.”
“I’m sorry, it’s habit, si-“ Riza stopped herself. “Oops, I meant- Roy.” It sounded so weird coming out of her mouth that both said nothing for a few moments.
Out of the corner of his eye, Roy kept sneaking looks at her. She was wearing a red dress that had no shoulder straps, but instead was tied back behind her neck. He blushed a little as he realized that the bulky military uniform definitely didn’t serve her justice, as it concealed much of the underlying beauty she possessed.
Roy wondered what Riza was thinking. “I must look like a shy, smitten little schoolboy,’ he thought to himself, and inwardly grimaced as he pictured Fury.
Suddenly, someone bumped into him from behind, jarring his hands from Riza’s.
He spun around to see Havoc dancing with Fury, and couldn’t help but laugh at the sight- Havoc was obviously drunk, and poor Fury was being spun around to no end.
Roy fixed his attention back to what he had been doing previously, and turned around to apologize to Riza.
As he held his hands out to take hers again, Riza suddenly reached up and put her arms over his shoulders and around his neck. For a minute Roy was shocked at the close contact she had established with him. ‘What is she doing?’ he wondered in amazement.
He felt his arms circle around her waist, so that they were both caught up in a romantic embrace as they continued to dance.
Feeling dizzy, Roy looked at Riza’s face to try to find some kind of clue as to her sudden unorthodox behavior. His emotions turned to a fever pitch when he saw the contentment and longing in her eyes.
Roy felt his insides melt. ‘I can’t believe it…’ He could barely contain his enthrallment.
The two picked up the dance steps once again, staring into each others eyes.
From across the room, Hughes was grinning so wide that it looked like his face would split. “Now that’s the Roy I know,” he declared.
Roy was completely aware of the stares they were receiving, but for once, he didn’t care. He lifted a hand to gently brush a stray lock of hair out of her face.
“Hmm,” Riza sighed with contentment as she felt his hand touch her face. She pulled herself a little closer to him. She could smell his cologne.
All traces of embarrassment had long since abandoned Roy. He gazed lovingly into her eyes and gently held her close, as though she were something both precious and delicate.
As the last chords of the song wound down, Roy realized how closely together their faces were. The tip of his nose was practically touching hers. He was unsure of how to proceed- his whole body yearned to kiss her, but in that crucial moment, he faltered and lacked the courage to initiate the kiss.
But Riza sensed his emotions, and pulled her head up so that it was level with his. Shifting her weight so that she was leaning on his chest, she touched her face to his and kissed him softly on the mouth.
In that moment, Roy felt that if he had died immediately afterwards, he would have died a happy man.
After a few seconds, Riza broke off the kiss. Both were breathing heavily. Curious as to how Roy would react, Riza made herself content to stare into his obsidian eyes.
Leaning forward, Roy kissed her back tenderly. They remained in the same position for close to half a minute. Finally, Roy leaned back and Riza relaxed and laid her head on his chest.
There was dead silence.
It suddenly dawned on Riza that there wasn’t a sound or movement in the room. All previous activity had stopped, including Havoc’s drunken tango with Fury. All of the people were staring directly at Riza and Roy, their mouths hanging open.
Roy’s face felt hot. ‘Don’t blush,’ he pleaded with himself, but to no avail.
Suddenly, the unnerving silence was broken by the jarring sound of clapping from the far side of the room. Everyone turned to see Hughes, clapping his hands and positively beaming. “Way to go, Roy!” he yelled.
The clapping was taken up by Armstrong next, followed by Breda, Havoc, and Fury. Before anyone knew it, everyone in the room was clapping and cheering uproariously.
Riza smiled and laughed. She held Roy close, and she felt as though her heart would overflow with all the love she felt towards this man.
Running his hand through her hair, Roy wondered why he had ever doubted that she had loved him, too.
Roy looked over at Hughes, giving him a silent thank you. ‘Maybe I won’t make you eat all the photos after all,’ he said to himself. ‘except for the ones of me accidentally setting myself on fire.’
And so this is
The End.
Okay, here's a stupid random story that I wrote in five minutes and posted on Livejournal. Who would have thought that a donut could inspire this...
Alright, I have an excuse for this. Really. I was at Krispy Kreme, and at the one near me they give out free donuts every time a fresh batch comes out of the oven. So I started thinking about what would happen if some of the FMA characters went there... and then this happened. (I was planning to make it better than this, but I wanted to write it down fast before I lost the inspiration.)
It was an unusually quiet day at Krispy Kreme. The donuts were rolling off of their conveyor belts waiting to be eaten. With their delicious glazed-ness and sprinkles and frosting-
But I digress.
It was getting late, and the latest batch of donuts had just come out of the oven. So, as was the custom, the shop would give a free sample to anyone who came in. Around five minutes later, a small boy with long blond hair came bursting through the doors.
“DONUTS, AL!” Edward (because we all knew it was him, right?) screamed at the top of his lungs.
The swinging doors had snapped back on their hinges and smacked Alphonse in the face, and would have caused a broken nose- if he had had a nose to begin with. But that’s besides the point. What happened instead was that his head fell off.
The peewee alchemist dashed up to the counter and plastered his face against the glass display case.
“May I interest you in a free donut?” the cashier guy asked.
Edward’s eyes grew big and round. Al had finally managed to put his head back on, and had reached the counter. Sensing that Ed was about to have some form of happy conniption, he grabbed his brother’s arm. “Ed, remember what the therapists said!”
Edward closed his eyes and counted to ten. When he opened his eyes, the cashier had stuck the free donut in front of his face, so Ed had a crazy spasm anyway. All Alphonse could do was apologize for his brother’s psychologically scarring behavior and drag the gibbering shrimp to a random seat.
By now, the poor cashier was so messed up that he figured that it was about time to call it a night. But just then-
Creeeak! The door hinges squealed as a tall man with long brown hair entered. The cashier managed to summon up a disturbing crazed smile that was supposed to pass off as friendly. “Would you like a free donut?” he said, his eye twitching slightly.
“Why, of course!” the man answered in a deep booming voice. He reached out and grabbed the donut the cashier offered him. Then, without another word, he strode to the door and left.
Within ten seconds, a black haired woman came in. “May I have a free sample?”
The cashier was only too happy to oblige. Once again, the customer left abruptly.
At this point, there was a momentary distraction during which Ed had viciously attacked the display stand which held bottles of milk. But once that was over (and Ed had been knocked unconscious) business was able to continue as usual.
If the cashier hadn’t been suffering so many blows to his already fragile sanity, he might have noticed that the customers that kept coming in were never in more that one at a time, and that they all took a free donut and left.
It was right before closing time when one final customer came in right after the previous one had exited. Unsurprisingly, she took a free donut and left. The cashier closed up for the night, helped Alphonse drag Ed outside, and went home. He never was quite the same again.
Meanwhile, in the alleyway right next to Krispy Kreme, a shadowy figure sat hunched over a mountain of glazed donuts. “I swear, this free donut idea is the best thing that’s ever happened to me…” they muttered, picking up a donut.
“Those idiots never learn,” Envy chuckled to himself as he chowed down.