1. Never judge a suit of armor by its contents-or lack there of.

2. Never be best friends with a someone of the same gender who is hotter than you. (Too bad Havoc didn't know that sooner.)

3. If you leave your family for years, and then suddenly come back, make sure you aren't flirting with a woman who isn't your kids mother, at least while they're around.

4. If you fall in love with a woman in the same profession, be sure of two things:

A) She doesn't own a gun.
B) It's not illegal to date her. (i.e Fraternization)

5. Never trust anyone named Kimblee, Dante, or Riya.

6. If you find a kid stranded on a deserted island who can use alchemy, don't bring him home.

7. If you don't like being called a shrimp, drink milk.

8. Stay away from phone booths when you find out astonishing secrets about the military.

(That's all I can think of for now...)

9. Never trust refridgerator trucks, especially owned by a mad butcher.

10. Never run around the streets screaming 'I'm a state alchemist' Especially in front of a Ishbalite with a scar on his face.

11. Never steal anything from Greed

12. Never impersonate a state alchemist.

13. Never trust a thief that wears black, uses cards as alchemy, and was once a nun, nurse, teacher etc.

14. Never trust slithery little weasels like Tucker or Kimbley.

15. Never feed Gluttony past 5:00. (actually never feed him anything!)

16. If Krazy gives you the Alastor eyes...LOOK AWAY! YOU CANNOT ESCAPE THE EYES!

17. Be careful what gate you walk through; they don't always lead to the park.

18. Never talk about Edo being hot-headed in front of an Ed fangirl. This is an official form of suicide recognized by your local military.

19. Don't hurt Lust in front of Gluttony without a death wish.

20. Never give your girlfriend a gun or a wrench.

21. Alchemy is the answer to everything... except child birth.

22. Quote Roza hawkeye: Babies aren't born after just 5 months.

23. Skills don't come from a pocket watch, biyotch.

24. Never piss off Winry. Ever.

25. Wearing gloves in the desert makes you look like a street performer.

26. Hiding kittens in armor never works.

27. Don't trust a guy with an eye patch.

28. If you can't find a door, then make your own.

29. Two drops of blood isn't a fair trade. Unless we're dealing with Dracula, but that's a different Anime.

30. When fighting, always find the most dramatic way to remove your shirt in order to show off your sexy man-chest. Commonly known as Shirtophobia.

31. If someone is missing a feature they were born with, don't comment on it. Just run.

32. Obsessed children make mistakes really fast.

33. Never trust a kind old lady who doesn't make cookies, as they have ulterior motives.

34. If you're going to kill someone, make sure you finish the job. They'll rip a hole in your chest several years later otherwise, or turn a bystander into a bomb shortly after.

35. Humans cannot come back from the dead, and can't live forever. Except Alphonse.

36. Pseudohumans don't really give their priorities much consideration.

37. If someone wants to see your watch, tell em to screw off, especially if that someone is accompanied by someone you saw get the crap beat out of 'em in an arm wrestling match.

38. Don't let friends kill their daughters

39. Never leave anything lying around that you don't want transmuted.

40. Please stay out of the city if it starts glowing red... for your own good...

41. Never let a grease bag lead you on a rampage through an abandoned city... it just makes you all look stupid...

(lol. Nice ones!)

42. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you armor, bond a soul to it.

43. Women are dangerous.

44. Never give a title to the last episode in the series.

45. Whoever said green was the new blonde was seriously mistaken.

46. What do you do when your plaugged by naggy little memories? Kill your sons!

47. Never date a woman who's over 400 years old, ever. Never ever never. Ever.

48. If you are in the military and decide to commit mass genocide... make sure you do it throroughly or else an extremist will come and blow off yer head a few years later.

49. Dogs are man's best friend but a chimera is a homunculus' best comrade.

50. All Chimeras come in different shapes and sizes.

51. NEVER EVER EVER transmute a family member INTO a chimera! NEVER NEVER NEVER especially when they are cute and named Nina.

52. If you are attacked by a suit of armor, make sure you immobilize all parts! You never know how many souls it can hide.

53. Never underestimate old ladies... no matter who they are, they are probably either:
A) Evil in disguise (In the case of Dante)
B) A wild mastermind in their younger days (In the case of Pinako Rockbell)

54. Your teacher can be your best friend, or your scariest opponent... or both.

45. 'My chimera ate my State Alchemist certification' is an excuse that will save you from the firing squad, but not from Edward Elric.

46. Be careful what kind of tatoo you get...

47. If you sneak a member of the opposite gender into your hospital room, make sure it is established before-hand that there is no romantic motive.

48. Fangrils are to be feared....

55. If a guy say he wants women to wear mini skirt. Slowly walk away.

56. Never flirt with Roy infront of Riza. She will point a gun at your head.

57. Alchemy does have it limits. Human Tranmutation IS impossible.

58. A brother love is VERY strong. Edward and Alphones. (sweet)

59. Never call Ed short (I'm surprise no one said that yet...)

60. If the secretary of a Big guy with a eye patch looks like your dead mother. RUN LIKE THE WIND!

61. Playing with fire isn't whimpy!

62. Golden eyes ARE cute!

63. Never allow military personnel to own a puppy. It's embarrassing for the military and cruel to the puppy.

64. Don't go into a Refrigerated Truck unless you know who owns it.

65. When Roy tells you it's raining... just agree with him.

66. Don't hide kittens in armor... THINK OF THE POOR CAT!

67. Never try to outsmart Roy Mustang, because he'll just outswit your outsmartedness... and then burn ya to a crisp.

68. Homunculi in manga aren't nearly as nice as Homunculi in anime. (You'd need to read and watch the whole series to get that. XD)

69. Never bring a suit of armor to the desert without a shovel.

70. Whenever you admit your evil plans to turn a town into your own personal army, make sure no one's broadcasting it.

71. A mother's soul is more than blood.

72. If you wear armor people may compare you to a trashcan. (Tis was the first episode I saw of FMA, A Forger's Love. So innocent were the brothers back then.)

73. Babies aren't born after just five months.

74. Childbirth isn't alchemy.

75. Using your wife and daughters to make humanoid chimeras is NOT the alternative to divorce.

76. You know something's wrong when ou've been kidnapped. You know something's worse when your kidnapper hangs you in the same room with a bunch of dead animals.

77. When you accept a bunch of gold from a shrimp in exchange for an entire town, remember to get a warranty.

78. When you pin a woman, watch where you put your hands.

79. You know things are bad when folks prefer the person who stole your identity better than you.

80. Just because someone's taller than you doesn't mean they're older.

81. When you have a violent battle with an alchemist almost as good as you, be sure that you're not signed up to be clean-up crew as well.

82. never enter the devils nest without some kind of protection.

83. you know you're doing something wrong when your arm gets torn off.

84. never call Al a robot.

85. never say this unless you have a deathwish: look at me..i'm tasty. (XD)

86. NEVER piss off envy without a deathwish ^^

87. Don't let a doctor check your height. it's embarrasing (FOR REAL DUDE! IT IS XD)

88. don't date a humonculi. (FMA Manga vol. 10, poor Havoc, dated Lust and got paralyzed T_T)

89. when you see someone with really spiky long hair.....run.